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Discrimination- BBW : Swingers Discussion 1924541031
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TOPIC: Discrimination- BBW
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Let me be the first to welcome you to the forums! Here's hopin', ropin', that you'll continue to post. Good luck in here...and some of us really like the cowboy, "Garth Brooks" sort of look. Attractiveness can be more about the twinkle in your eye than about how many hairs you have on your head.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Hi folks!! I have been reading most of these posts for a while now with great interest and this is my first attempt at posting my thoughts. So please be patient and don't beat me up to bad..lol.. As a single man,who is going bald, getting old , and is overweight, I have a lot of strikes against me from the start. But I have found a few who are accepting of all these things and been invited to some house parties by some really nice folks and have made some great friends in this life style. But it is not always easy..lol..I have found that there are so many different "ideas" about what this about , that with patience you can find some real nice folks who accept you as you are and only judge you on your manners and personality. There have been several folks that I tried to contact and was turned away very quickly..and some not very damn nice about it ..lol..and then run into them at a party i was invited to and after they got to know me , decided that I really wasn't a bad guy. Some of these even turned into a good friendship with the benefits!! I guess my point here , is that all old , heavy , bald guys , are not bad fellows and we can actually be a lot of fun if given a chance...lol.. I find myself getting a little down from time to time because of the way some people treat others but then someone will come along and show me that not everyone is rude and mean..lol.. I just think personality and the brain has so much to do with what is attractive that many times i am very attracted to some one just from chatting with them and never even seen them!!!

is that weird ????

Well, thanks for letting me ramble on here and good luck to all and don't lose faith..

New Braunfels TX
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welcome to the forums Hmmming. Hope you continue to post. Gina

San Antonio TX
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we have run into that problem too. we even had people call me names and even asked if i had down syndrome because of me being a bbw and when i had long hair. we r honest about everything up front. if people treat everybody equal then there will be no problems.

Tulsa OK
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JOey, the honesty in your posts is so refreshing. And it helps "us gals" to know that you guys go through some of the same thought patterns that we sometimes struggle with as well.

Here's a story to illustrate what you seem to be saying here (maybe two stories):

1. We were at a hotel party and met a very nice couple. She was quite younger than he, and was just adorably cute and sexy. Mr and I BOTH wanted her and got to both enjoy her sexually. We ended up in a room with a few other friends, and we were having a good sexy time. Her husband was a bigger guy and was hilarious. He had that intelligent wit that I love. I wasn't attracted physically (just not "my type"), and as the night went on, he appealed to my intellect and sense of humor so much that I found him more attractive. It was not an alcohol thing, nor was it a "settling" thing. He wasn't pushy, and he wasn't trying to get me to "like" him. It was simply a brain thing...he attracted my BRAIN rather than my eyesight, and we ended up having fun sexually. I was happily surprised because I let myself be.

2. We became great friends (still are) with a couple we also met at a hotel party. He said early on (with his blunt honesty) that he usually was not attracted to women with my body type. BUT, that I was a surprise and so sexy (his words) that I opened his mind and actually changed it to the point where he saw beauty and sexiness in a new and different way than he had imagined. That was pretty cool, but I wasn't trying to do that. I don't want to be with anyone who isn't interested or attracted. However, those are two examples of things happening differently than expected. He went on to be a master in the world of swinging, and credited me with helping to change his predetermined ideas and ideals of what constitutes sexiness and attractiveness. For him, it became something more than body type or a number on a scale.

This will not work, nor should it, for everyone. It's just my example of how things aren't always as they appear at first. Please don't consider this a sermon of how people "should" act or think, because I believe that everyone is absolutely entitled to his/her own sense of attraction and that no one should try to tell someone else how to think, feel or behave.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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To me, it is kind of like stage fright at first. I don't have large breasts, nor a flat stomach. It took me awhile to realize only a few look for someone perfect looking. I also am terrible at flirting, whereas Dave is very good at it.

Quakertown PA
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It is not easy to learn that, but through time, you realize you are talking to people you barely know.

Quakertown PA
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I think I was saying that I myself sometimes get a little intimidated.

Where I dont think Im unattractive.

When we're meeting a couple for lets say full swap. If the man in the couple has a gym body and is really hung. I cant help but be a little intimidated because Im going to be having sex with someone who usually has someone with a great body and a bigger schlong.

Most of the time my fears go unfounded. We all have a great time and stay in touch and play many times.

But I still get that first time uneasyness if I myself feel like I don't physically match up.

Mount Juliet TN
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kind, I think basically, all four people are not going to be equally attractive, so in a way, someone does end up with a less attractive partner than the other. It does not make it any less fun, it's just a fact. Taking one for the team is playing with someone you definitely don't want to play with, just to make someone else happy. We learned early on, not to play with someone we just do not want to play with, whether it is their looks, or if they are a jerk, or just have a crappy personality.

Quakertown PA
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I didnt mean to come across as shallow as it sounded.

Yes, personality matters. A lot of factors matter.

I was trying to make the point that for me anyway, personality wont overcome physical attractiveness.

In a relationship, thats a different story. Personality, and other factors carry a lot more weight.

If someone isnt into large people. Or a different race, or whatever theyre not into. I dont think for the purposes of swinging that should be held against them.

For example. My wife gained a lot of weight when we first got married. At least 100 pounds. I didnt love her any less. I never thought about leaving her. I didnt care for her any less and It didnt change any of my feelings.

But I did have issues performing sexually. It was a strain on our relationship because I didnt want to upset her, I wanted to be able to perform but my body didnt cooperate with what my mind wanted.

That was real tough to overcome. There was no way to hide it. There was no way to say "no its not you"

Since I know that I cant physically perform for someone Im in love with and want to be with on every level. I wouldnt put myself into a situation where I couldnt perform with someone that I just wanted a sexual relationship with.

Mount Juliet TN
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TOPIC: Discrimination- BBW