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Did I Overstep Any Boundaries : Swingers Discussion 82921
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TOPIC: Did I Overstep Any Boundaries
Created by: curiouscpl4casualfun
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scotty..... we AGREEE :-)

Philadelphia PA
 
 
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you didn't do anything wrong. Personally at a swing club, as far as our rules go, anything goes. If she has a chance to play with a guy,girl or couple and they don't want me around, it's fine, same for me. it's not happened however, because we enjoy this hobby together.

IT WAS A SWING CLUB GROUP ROOM. He should've said "sorry, ask the wife". Not your problem sweetheart.

Lake Worth FL
 
 
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Thank you honey!

You are a true sweetheart as always Joe! Yes, males and females do think differently! As a single fem. I have to watch my boundaries closer than most so to NOT offend anyone. Believe me it is EASY to offend people with no intent, and usually without knowledge. Communication is always critical in swinging and every day life!

Curious,

I understand why you felt it was OK. I'm sure others would have done the same thing. I am just more careful than most I think when it comes to permission. I never assume and always ask. The male should have gotten up and checked with his partner first, or simply stated to wait a few minutes till she returned. Knowing how people are, I'm sure they discussed it later. *laughs*

RaveN (:~

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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Oh and thank you JD for the compliments! You're sweet.

Las Cruces NM
 
 
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Thanks for the input everyone. Although it was a "group" room, yeah I think I still should have waited for his partner to come back. Although of course, he should have known his rules and told me that I would have to ask her first...but then...I dunno...some men don't have as much control and I think oftentimes it's in the woman's hands to take control of the situations and "do the right thing." Sooooo....lesson learned!

Las Cruces NM
 
 
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I think this may be a perfect example of how guys and girls think differently. To me, I think nothing wrong happened except the other couple may not have been on the same page, for whatever reason. To the ladies point of view, there wasn't enough communication and other things.

My wife and I both like a woman that takes a bit of control, but not so much that it becomes domination or abusive. I like a pretty lady to come up to me and flirt and tell me what she wants and/or desires. I think that's why I love Raven so much. You're a fantastic lady Raven and an amzingly wonderful friend. Raven is sensual, beautiful, sexy and especially very erotic. I love everything about Raven.

I just think the question asked about this senerio is a great question and that communication between the other couple was where the real problem laid. Anytime a couple meets someone, certain risk are involved. Communication is always vitally important.

Joe

Newport News VA
 
 
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This is just me and my perspective on things. I go to clubs and parties frequently and yep, seen that happen a LOT!

If he had been single, you would have been fine. But you already knew he was with a partner. You respected your husband by asking him, but what made you think his partner would not have cared though? You did not ask her and she is half the equation. That invites DRAMA!

I am a single. No matter what the situation, I would NEVER have approached without the wife's/partner's permission first. To do otherwise showed complete disrespect IMO. Those who know me will attest that if a few hours have passed since permission was granted and I have not played with that person yet, until I have once again re-asked for permission I won't go near the male half. I don't care if he is standing over me begging, I need to make sure her and I are still on the same page first. I never know if anything happened in that elapsed time period that they may be having a conflict over, and I hate to get caught in drama.

I drive my friends crazy cause I am constantly checking and re-checking no matter how many times the wives tell me I am fine. I just tell them it's just my way as a single and they completely understand. I respect couples and understand that things can easily happen during an evening of play that could change things without warning. A little respect goes a long way and the partners tell me they appreciate my showing that kind of respect (even though I still drive some nuts over my obsession about permission). Better safe than sorry and my reputation is built on that.

Raven (:~

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You did what was expected in the room you were in. If the other couple had an issue, then it was their issue to work out. You tried to be polite and considerate. You asked permission and gave pleasure to your partner and the other gentleman. Personally, I wish I had been the other man. It sounds like you are a fantastic lady.

Joseph

Newport News VA
 
 
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Hey all...need a bit of advice and would appreciate any feedback. Last week the hubby and I went to a local swingclub and had a blast. We were in the "group" room and messing around with each other while we watched an attractive couple having intercourse. While watching them, the girl got up and took off. I don't know if she was coming back or what the situation was...but the guy then took a chair and pointed himself directly at my husband and I to watch us while we were messing around. He started stroking himself and I dunno...I asked my husband if it was okay if I "helped" him (the other guy) out and of course my husband said hell yeah! Well the guy walked over to me and I started working on him and I have to admit was quite appealing to me. We were talking and laughing and enjoying ourselves when the girl he had been with previously walked in. She looked at us then went into an adjoining room alone. My "friend" called to her and asked her to come over with us to which she turned her head and flicked her hand like she was shooing him away. It was pretty obvious she was upset. I was kinda stuck in the middle and was about to get up and walk away when the guy pulled me back to him and we started up again. I did happen to see that his girl found herself another man and started up with that other guy. I was kind of bothered afterwards though because I was...and am wondering if my behaviour was inappropriate. I know that some guys think it's a free for all in the group room, but of course it's not. Permission must always be asked first. But then again, I did ask the guys permission first. So was it my bad or his?

Las Cruces NM
 
 
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TOPIC: Did I Overstep Any Boundaries