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Being BBW is Not Cool : Swingers Discussion 1904471011
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TOPIC: Being BBW is Not Cool
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Making and looking for friends is one thing. Looking for sex partners is another.

I think in the profile and email section of this site, its more geared toward sex partners for most people. Not all. But most. Youre basically here looking at a menu and seeing what you want to bring to bed.

We would gladly chat with anyone who emailed us to a degree. If someone outside our preferences emails us to chat about something other than getting together for sex. We would be fine with that.

Someone clearly outside our interest, who is looking for sex. Honestly, we would not carry on conversation with them if their intention was to change our mind.

No. We wouldn't meet incompatible people the way we would compatible people. Thats just not what we are looking for.

With that said. Take the forums here for example. We all interact in conversation, and its not about the nuts and bolts of meeting for why we are all here.

So we would gladly meet anyone (well most anyone..lol) on the forums if we were in their area and they wanted to hang out or go to dinner. But these are people we (I moreso) have already opened up a dialog with and chat with daily on a platonic friendly basis.

Mount Juliet TN
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Sweet , We would gladly meet you if you were ever in AL . Frankly in some ways I feel I know you already having watched you post. The difference is to me the forums are like meeting others at a social club. We chat, we hang out we get to know each other, we become friends . I'm not on the forums "looking" for sexual partners and thus most profiles of people I chat with I don't even bother to open their profile and look at their photos. Their age, weight and preferences have no baring on conversing in the forums. Outside of the forums and social events our goal isn't friendships and thus when local people contact us and want to meet and we don't feel we're compatible for whatever reason we do not invest time in A) misleading them B) working towards a friendship or C) just hanging out . We like most people have busy lives , we are primary here to fulfill our sexual fantasies. Any friendships formed are a bonus but if we know already we aren't attracted, find no common ground or just getting a bad vib we aren't going to waste our time or theirs. For the record I do not think that because you are not Mr Adonis people won't talk to you. We go to a lot of socials and we have the same issues. People are hanging with "their" group. Some feel that any exchange of pleasantries must mean sex is the goal. Silly YES, but it is a fact. many times I'll comment to Mr Sav how rude some women was to me and I'd say to him "what the fuck, I didn't want to have sex with her I merely compliment her dress!" go figure! On the flip side I too am very cautious at a social gathering to not send the wrong message and be "too" friendly sometimes because sometimes if you're "too nice" you just can't get rid of them. It is what it is. They say sex complicates things and there is no doubt about it lol.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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kinddragon well i thought we were but i am being told i am nuts to think making friends is a good thing, so i will shut up on this topic now and let people keep making judgment calls on people based only on what someone looks like, i have 300-400 friends in the life style that we have met over the years, MOST we don't play with they are just friends who we hang with, go to dinner with, hang at there house with, even go to swingers parties with, but don't have sex with them, guess what we all met one time or another through the life style, just to see what they were like in person, had i said oh hell no i am not going there not my type i would be short so many awesome friends and that's a sad thought. We have shared so many fun and sad times with so many of them, i am glad there in my life, because its called a life style not SEX life. just IMO

Hamilton MI
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saveandwin i never said anyone has to have sex with me, i said i think its sad that there are people who wont even bother to TALK to me cause we maybe to big or not there cup of tea, you just said you can talk to and be friendly with people your not attracted to for sex,and enjoy the friendship but dont want sex. that is my point i e mail people to just to chat and i get slammed when i dont even say the word sex,

So some here think that if no sex will be had because the person is not for them then you cant even chat? how is that not rude? i have walked up to people at a meet and greet, NOT a SEX party, but a meet and greet, and been treated this way, they wont even talk to us past hi, how is that me asking about sex? but i feel i am banging my head against a wall here, We/i don't like to have sex in general with people who you can see there ribs, when there not sucking things in, that my dog weighs more then, BUT i still will talk to them and laugh and be friends. Then at a house party a few months ago, i met a woman who is a long distance runner, shes very thin and almost no meat on the bone, we sat in a hot tub chatted, and then ended up playing, now if i had kept with my idea that shes way to skinny, and i should not even consider her, we never would have had fun, much less a new friend, why is it so hard to understand that by not even answering, and ignoring people in person is rude and one never knows, you may not find a fuck friend, but you may find a very nice friend by just talking to them

Hamilton MI
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" no what i am wanting is that people stop making a judgment call on if we are compatible without even talking to someone, compatibility is way different then attracted to,"

This is a sex site if I'm not attracted on some levels I'm not having sex with you. I also would hope that if someone is not attracted to me they too would refuse to have sex with me. We can be friendly, exchange pleasantries and share some laughs at a party but if you don't physically stir me I really see no point in taking things further.

You mention attitude as being an issue for some people who are overweight and yet I don't see your attitude being any different. You're unhappy that people do not want to have sex with you sometimes and base that on being a BBW, how is your attitude any different? the reality is fat, thin, short or tall, handsome, average, smart or well spoken 90% of the people you contact aren't interest in having sex with you. Noone should be made to feel bad for rejecting you any more than others should make you feel bad. When we decline an invitation to meet I NEVER give a reason why I think we're incompatible. Sometimes it is their looks, sometimes I think based on their profile ;they're not what we're looking for, sometimes they have a great profile and look hot and we're still not interested for whatever reason. Stop wasting energy focusing on what others do or don't do and focus on what makes you happy. Any one who refused to meet you did you a favor and saved you valuable time......don't give that time back by worrying about WHY they didn't want to meet. Everyone has trouble meeting the "right" people , that's just how it is. If you're happy with yourself and with each other move on and move forward. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I never said people cant have there own thoughts and wants, i never said people can do what they want, i was not crying cause people wont play with us, ( some do ), what i was saying is its sad that someone looks at us and make up there mind who we are and what we are and everything about us just from a pic without getting to know us, nothing not a chat, and that's shallow and sad, but your right to each there own, and if people want to be shallow and rude i guess they have to live with themselves not me.

Hamilton MI
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I am married to a BBW. I prefer ladies with curves. I like as they say" Cushion for the pushin". LOL I love a voluptuous lady, I guess I am a throwback.

Baytown TX
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I’m caught between a rock and a hard spot when it comes to obesity. I am sorry to see anyone being abused. If someone does something wrong, they should be punished, but they should never be abused.

But the other side of me says I have little tolerance for people who allow themselves to become obese, or thick, or with a little extra padding, or whatever term they invent to make obesity acceptable. I don’t eat in fast food restaurants. But it seems every time I drive past one, I see a very obese person either entering or exiting the restaurant. There is an upscale ice cream parlor in my small town where I reside. And yes, I go there for a small ice cream cone about once a summer. When I enter and while I am leaving I try not to look at the other patrons, because the largest people always seem to be eating the biggest treats. On a few occasions once I see the other customers, I left before I placed my order because I just don’t want to look like them.

So, who is really to blame for the way we allow ourselves to indulge?

Chester NJ
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PS looked at your pics and you and your wife are far from fat, i think your attitude is prob the reason the hot sexy 20 somethings are not playing with you. because i have been swinging for 7 yrs now, and have had a couple of 20 somethings before, its not the age or looks that matter the most, its how you feel and your personality that matter more, i would rather play with a BBW with a awesome personality, then a 30 yr big boobed perfect looking model of a women, but she makes you feel like shes doing you a favor just talking to you, much less play with them, those kind of women can shove the thinking that they are the best thing in the world attitude, so not sexy

Hamilton MI
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sweettart no what i am wanting is that people stop making a judgment call on if we are compatible without even talking to someone, compatibility is way different then attracted to, we have met and played with couples that maybe were not the most attractive to, but we got to know them and they were such awesome people personality wise that we played with them and never regretted it, how does one know what someone is like when they refuse to even talk? i mean we have had people who are bigger people tell us this as well as skinny,we answer any e mail we get and chat with people for awhile to get to know them somewhat before we say yes or no to meeting them, to just say oh your to fat skinny whatever, so i wont even waste my time getting to know you cause you look this way or that, is crazy. Yes people can and have to have likes and dislikes in life and swinging, but i was also responding to a e mail on here that said women of all sizes are beautiful and sexy and fun, i agree, and for people to look at a pic and say eww your to this or that and wont even give someone a chance based only on looks, is a sad state of things but really? if someone is so superficial then we would rather have nothing to do with them anyway.

Hamilton MI
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TOPIC: Being BBW is Not Cool