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Bad experiences wrecking her intrest : Swingers Discussion 209450101
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TOPIC: Bad experiences wrecking her intrest
Created by: new2wild
Original Starting post for this thread:
We have been I guess in the lifestyle for about 12 years or so on and off. Mostly playing with bi females with a few straight males here and there. However our last couple of encounters have not been very good. To start with, We invited a guy we have played with before to join us. He fingered her some and got a blow job but he couldn't keep it up. No big deal, it happens. About a month later we tried agian, That time a few drinks to loosen up turned into him passing out drunk berore any play. Sence that time he barely comes around. Back in the spring she had her eye on a bbw at her work she heard was bi. We met for a few drinks, Dropped a few hints and things looked good. She came over had a few drinks but politely declined.

These have been our only encounters sence the birth of our 2nd child 2 years ago. Now she seems to have lost intrest in playing, She still talks about it sometimes but not like she used to. I know her confidance has taken a beating and she is fearing more rejection. I try to encourage her but I need some help. Any advice on helping her get her confidance back?

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SPP: We agree there has to be an attraction, That is why I feel like the guy bothered her so. He had joined us a few times before and she had a awsome time, That is why we invited him back. But now he seems fairly disinterested and I think that has really bugged her.

Bella: Thank you I will pass along the compliments. You are correct about needing others to compliment her. She normally tells me if someone flirts or anything and she has not said anything in a long time.

Dover TN
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What you described (in the initial post) HAPPENS!!! And I'd be willing to bet that it happens to MOST of us!! This "lifestyle" is not as easy as most people think!! In addition to scheduling and the normal challenges of LIFE, there really needs to be a degree of INTEREST to be really enjoyable!!

Even if she is correct in her assumption that those you described were not interested, that SURE doesn't mean she is unattractive or that the fun and games have come to an end. It just means that THEY weren't interested! Hang in there, send out some "feelers" and be willing to meet others!! Lord knows we only meet a SMALL percentage of the people we come in contact with!! A VERY small percentage!!

Good luck!!!!

Bethany MO
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I understand what you mean. Of course she is beautiful / sexy / hot in your eyes. You know her the best. One thing that will definitely boost her ego is, honestly, if someone else tells her this. They have no incentive to tell her this but it could make a world of difference. It does feel great when someone checks you out or makes a compliment. This is what I hate about the online community. People are so quick to put others down that it starts to sink in that you are not worthy. What's frustrating is that you know you are worthy but those negative comments / jabs / bad vibes do eventually get to you. It's hard to shake and you start questioning everything about yourself. But a few people telling you that you are hot and meaning it can erase all those bad feelings. For the record - the she IS good looking - she has great hair, striking eyes and a really nice chest. Seriously.

Albany OR
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Sorry if my post came across wrong, I am just a little frustrated. I tell her how sexy she is, and how much I love her all the time. I even text her dirty pics to flirt sometimes. I think she knows I am still in love with her and find her sexy. We have a pretty good sex life so I think she has that "He will always say I am sexy" mind set. But feels I am the only one that does.

Dover TN
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I agree with the poster below. A couple "negative" experiences don't have to color the whole pot if you don't let them. Go out, dress nice, and flirt with EACH OTHER. That helps to reconnect your own sexuality and sensuality. Don't look to hook up with anyone else for a bit. How, exactly, are you trying to "encourage her?" Your post is just a bit condescending, not sure you're really asking for help here.

G.

San Antonio TX
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I wouldn't despair. Things run hot and cold. The best experiences I have had were ones that I had no expectations about and just let things happen. One suggestion - I would not recommend approaching people from work. That is just my humble opinion. Don't get your honey where you get your money.

Albany OR
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We have been I guess in the lifestyle for about 12 years or so on and off. Mostly playing with bi females with a few straight males here and there. However our last couple of encounters have not been very good. To start with, We invited a guy we have played with before to join us. He fingered her some and got a blow job but he couldn't keep it up. No big deal, it happens. About a month later we tried agian, That time a few drinks to loosen up turned into him passing out drunk berore any play. Sence that time he barely comes around. Back in the spring she had her eye on a bbw at her work she heard was bi. We met for a few drinks, Dropped a few hints and things looked good. She came over had a few drinks but politely declined.

These have been our only encounters sence the birth of our 2nd child 2 years ago. Now she seems to have lost intrest in playing, She still talks about it sometimes but not like she used to. I know her confidance has taken a beating and she is fearing more rejection. I try to encourage her but I need some help. Any advice on helping her get her confidance back?

Dover TN
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(31 posts)
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TOPIC: Bad experiences wrecking her intrest