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BBW and Self-Image : Swingers Discussion 1960781021
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TOPIC: BBW and Self-Image
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Happy to say I've taken some of the advice given here by buying pants that fit well and make me feel great! The trick to escaping being hyper-critical of myself is to avoid looking in the mirror to critique my curves. I wore the new jeans at a hotel takeover this weekend (the public areas of the hotel were a little cold) along with a very sexy bra. I FELT sexy and got a lot of very nice interest from the people who appreciate a woman with my physique.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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We were watching the grammy.s and I said to my wife who would be a better fuck Adele of lady gaga and then I said who has a better body and she said gaga then I asked who has prettier and the answer was Adele.. To me curvy women are sexier than thin rails with no tits

Bridgewater NJ
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Wow I hear this from naughty all the time and I don't consider her a bbw. She is perfect in my eyes. Scandels your picture look great. You look good to me.

And rdy I know you are hot. Wink. I know this is something woman opsess over but we all have flaws and imperfections.

Delta PA
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Lady K, I think body image is actually much more accurate of a term for my challenge, as you suggest. My self image is pretty good, having explored and developed a number of positive traits over the years that have nothing to do with my body image. It makes no sense that I would aspire to having the body of someone with different heritage, genes, life experiences, metabolism, and much younger age.

You are right, too about throwing out the old clothes! I'm not a fashion maven by any means, but since I tend to wear clothes out before replacing them (or my butt may have stretched them, to be honest), I probably ought to just go through the closet again and cull out the old junk.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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As always Ms. G, you are a wise woman. I have stopped beating myself down about my body. And like you, there is no critic harder on me than the woman that looks at me in the mirror. I am ridiculous. My body beat stage IV cancer and battles RA...and I get pissy because my jeans feel snug. Seriously, what a prick I am to myself!!! Thanks for beating cancer...but can you NOT be tight in a pair of Silvers?? Actually, now that I just wrote that I realize even more what an idiiot I can be LOL. Love who you are. We can all improve. Life is an evolution. But love who you are today. So what...the number on the back of your jeans is higher than you'd like. Work on it...and love who you are today. Trust me. If you do not appreciate the joys in your life today.......you may miss out on everything. Because today may never be tomorrow. And if you spend every day hoping you look good tomorrow, tomorrow...you will miss out on some wonderful todays.


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Thanks, cyberfriends/wise women, for sharing all your wisdom on the topic. It has helped me and I hope will be of benefit to others who dare to take a peak.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Let me also add that it might be a good idea to purge your closet of "things you want to wear again when you've lost the weight" (unless it's something REALLY special/sentimental/expensive and you want to keep it), and things that are just dumpy, baggy, shapeless "fat" clothes (most of us have those when we just don't really care, or are cleaning the garage). Old, faded, outdated clothes, "mom" jeans, etc. Donate them. Or throw them away. Don't look back. I do this frequently enough, and need to do it again. Have someone you trust help you if you can't decide on your own if something looks dowdy on you.

Wear clothes that fit your body NOW and that you like, feel good in, look good in, and fit well. That goes a long way to projecting confidence NOW, not "when I'm a size 6 I'll wear pretty clothes." Wear your hair and makeup in styles that reflect you, walk into a room knowing you are pretty, sexy, and look your best.

That has helped a lot b/c like you, I am also my own worst critic. And then, most of the times when I don't really feel all that attractive, someone will pay me a compliment. That is always a boost!

There are sizes and shapes for everyone, don't sell yourself short. Carry yourself well, with confidence and a smile. Dress for YOU, not for what you think someone else might like. When you look in the mirror, YOU are the one who needs to be happy with your choices.

That said, I also need to take my own advice. I put on ten pounds in 2011 after an awful series of loss and tragic events (yes, I'm a comfort eater...working on replacing that with other activities, but it's a hard habit to break) and since have had a tendency to wear non tight jeans (ha ha hard to do when you gain) and longer, looser tops, etc. I find myself wearing my glasses more, doing my nails less, and that's the WRONG attitude for me to have. I'm not attracting anyone when I do that, especially not myself.

So wear that expensive bottle of cologne you are just keeping for special occasions, do your hair, makeup, nails if that is something that makes you feel good, wear clothes that fit well and look great on you...and continue to do what you know is healthy for you. You'll get there...you have to, because I'm counting on all of you for motivation and encouragement in my own struggle for fitness.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Thank you, hayjester. My husband says I don't fit his definition of BBW and I'm not digging for compliments, but I think this disconnect between the progress I think I'm making and the evidence that I'm not is fairly common. It is frustrating, but more because of my impatience than anything else.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Just like you said it is hard work but you already look good in your pictures. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We all know it goes on easier than it comes off. It helps to connect with someone that has gone through it. Just try to stay inspired and don't give up. You will feel better in many different ways.

Freeland MI
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Ever since having children my body has been heavier than I would like. Since hitting my 50's, I've gained even more weight but with our participation in the lifestyle, I am making more of an effort to get rid of it. Yes, it's hard and slow work, with exercising more and eating less being the basic rule of thumb. I'm making some headway, but get discouraged when I discover that my efforts are not working as much as I imagine they are. When I try to wear the slacks I fit into 7 years ago, my happy bubble bursts and brings me back to reality. Patience is not my strong suit, unfortunately, but that's for another thread! Do you go, or have you gone through the same difficulties? How did you get past it? I'm doing my best to keep a positive outlook and I don't want to give up.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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TOPIC: BBW and Self-Image