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BBW Definition : Swingers Discussion 142473
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TOPIC: BBW Definition
Created by: misscat75 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Thank you sweets. And yeah, its all good. Every woman that has confidence will put up with that sort of thing, whether it is her sexuality, in her career, as a mom...if a woman can find fault in you due to her own insecurities....she will, you can guarantee it. It is just how it is with females unfortunately.

San Marcos TX
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lost we're not just forum-trash-talking when we say you'd be at the top of our list if we lived close to you - you guys are both truly hot with respect to our tastes. It's appaling that you would ever have to think through people laughing at you when the reality is that you probably have more sensuality in your pinky than either of the laughing girls have in their entire beings. If we could have one wish it would be that every woman would stop worrying about comparisons and just be themselves since standing on your own merits - as in your case - would mean you're as sensual as any guy could ever hope to find. No comparisons necessary.

Hopkinton MA
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It is a blessing, her ability to do that for herself. And you are right, not all women have that ability. It is funny, how men and women see women so differently. With most women, if you are going to put yourself out there you had better be "right". That is just how most women are. And so as a woman, if you are going to go there...you had better be confident enough to hold your head high amongst the "oh no she didn't" looks. I myself am. I went to a vanilla bar last Sat. in my backless top. 2 women were sitting to the side, looked at me, pointed and laughed. It did not bother me because those women laugh due to their own insecurities and the fact that they do not have the guts to dress that way. Will women stop being this way? Ummm, nope.

San Marcos TX
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It drives every guy out there nuts. We look at you and see you through glasses that see nothing but the passion in you, the energy and confidence you have, and the beauty of who you are as people. You look at yourselves and see one extra pound and magnify it by 20. And then you let yourselves - in many cases - feel fat, insecure, and unappealing next to women standing next yo you who similarly think of themselves irrationally as overweight.

Mrs. Catnip goes through the same thought process, but says to herself every night before we go out "there is nothing less attractive than someone who acts as if she thinks she's unattractive". She tucks away her insecurities and forgets they are there. We know there are women who cannot bring themselves to psyche themselves out that way, but really that's all it takes. Just find a way to bring energy to your personality, and none of the rest matters by comparison...

Hopkinton MA
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soulmates, congratulations to your wife!! I know first hand that she has worked her ass off, that is wonderful. And G, its very, very true. Women are competitive creations. It is just true. I do not know that this will change however, my 16 year old argues pretty much about the same shit women in their 30s argue about.

San Marcos TX
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Thank you for posting this...it's good to hear this from another husband. Women are so hard on each other, and not just for their looks, but also about their careers, their parenting choices, just everything. Guys may put each other down, but it's usually done in fun and while having a beer together. I don't understand the competition between women like that.

Congrats to your wife for her successful weight loss. We need only to compare ourselves with ourselves.

and Shel...if you like how you look and feel and you are healthy, then that will show in more ways than just how you look in (and out of) your clothes. I've learned many ways that I have to like ME for others to really like me.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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My wife, bless her soul, just lost almost 50 lbs and felt really good about it until she was in a wedding as the matron of honor. She saw the pics and couldn't say anything but "I look huge next to the other girls". I think it's a shame that women torture themselves in this manner, especially after accomplishing a feat as she did. 50 pounds is nothing to sneeze at, but she was comparing herself to 20yr olds who haven't eaten much more than a stick of gum in a week. Normally, my wife is such a confident woman, and she just oozes sexuality. But I could see her triumph reduced to a ripple in the water in a matter of seconds.

BBW is an awful term. So is HWP, or being fit. If you go by the BMI(body mass index), HWP would mean that every woman would be built like a pre-pubescent 12 year old boy. Not attractive! And if a woman has curves and large breasts, she's a BBW. I'm sorry but I think women are beautiful creatures and society, with their magazine models, has turned them against themselves.

Butler PA
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Lots of men like women with curves and bootay....my own husband would prefer that I gain weight. I like my bones though :0)...so they will stick around for awhile I think lol

San Marcos TX
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Thank you for furthering that a bit! I do understand that.

When we first went to club/hotel parties, we met a couple who would become close friends/sex partners. He was surprised by me, as I would not have been someone he would've initially found sexually attractive because of my body type. But the more they talked to us, the more attracted they grew to us, and also in chatting. There was just "something" there. A chemistry, a sexiness, an attraction. And the sex was outstanding! But so also was the depth of friendship and conversation.

He has thanked me several times for opening him up to be happily surprised in the lifestyle. And it's funny, because after a while, I noticed that more and more he was attracted to overly curvy women (insert more appropriate euphemism here). So...sometimes it's fun and rewarding and just plain sexually exciting to be surprised like that by someone you might not have considered just at first glance.

And if someone does not want to take that second look, that's also their preference and style in swinging. I'm not knocking either approach.

I think I do understand what you were saying. Thanks again for expounding.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Hi Gina!

I guess what we're saying is that there are a LOT of factors that go into who we as a couple are personally most attracted to... HWP/BBW is one of them, but so is age (appearnace of age, not the actual number), overall height (Mrs.Catnip is tall-ish and would PREFER at least same-height men), muscularity of build, amount and color of hair, etc. etc. The single BIGGEST factor in attraction for us is more personality-driven than physical - smiling with your whole face, twinkle in eye, joy of life, flirtiness, intelligence, etc.

We wouldn't find ourselves as likely to be instantly attracted to someone with a BBW build as a HWP build, but that's just one dimension for us and not the most important one at all... it would easily be trumped if that BBW abounded with that energy of connection and dripped with confidence. Same would go for a 5'4" guy - Mrs.Catnip would have to see something else in them that connected with her enough to overlook the non-perfect-fit height-wise.

As for our past experiences, yes - we realized that after a short phase when we tried going for "the most attractive couple we could find". After a couple such experiences we concluded that - compared to other experience with perhaps less body-perfect people - the experiences we had where the couple was passionate were WAY more worthwhile than the ones with more attractive but less passionate couples. Obviously we'd prefer both, but it helped us realize where the HWP/BBW issue ranked for us priority-wise.

Hope that's clearer... still not sure if that captures the sentiment we're trying to convey...!

Hopkinton MA
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TOPIC: BBW Definition