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An interesting quote : Swingers Discussion 56393
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TOPIC: An interesting quote
Created by: 2inVT The original post for this thread was deleted.
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*sigh*... why is it that all you happy, friendly, open-minded people live so far away??? :( For those of you who didn't see my previous post, this is coming from a guy's perspective, just so's you all know.

Ms USTO, I have to admit to looking up your profile after reading your post, and without seeing *all* of you, I'd haveta say that you've got a *gorgeous* figure the way you are. That said, I can fully understand you not being satisfied with your own appearance... we all struggle with that at one point or another. I'm currently (and for the last couple of years, now) busting my ass trying to lose weight, and have been seeing *very* slow results. Even though my overall apperance is changing, I hit a plateau about two months ago with my weight, and just started losing again two days ago... talk about frustrating.

I also have to admit that while I'm losing weight to improve my overall health and try to maintain myself better, I also trying to lose weight because I'm tired of not being happy with myself when I look in the mirror... I've had several people tell me that they don't think of me as "fat", but I DO, and that's what really drives me.

On the other side of the coin, I look at the people around me and I find that as I get older (ok, I realize I'm not old, it's just a reference to the passage of time) my "tastes" change... yes, I still like to look at the tight, lil hardbodies (not the barbie types), but I also find myself truly appreciating the curvier, softer women... every body type has something to offer (maybe it's the artist in me, I dunno) in terms of visual appeal, and for all of us it's different. Ok, I'm just rambling now, so I'm gonna shut up and let somebody make a point again ;)

Happy Posting, folks

Theron

Corning NY
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Absolutely great post!!!

After almost 40 years of hating my body, I have finally come to the conclusion I am who I am supposed to be. Of course that is all based on my own belief systems and that will affect my body shape and image. I figured, hating myself for 40 years hasnt really been effective in feeling better about myself, so..........I changed my mind set.

Everyone, and I mean every single person has atleast one issue about their appearance that they do not like. So, with that in mind........I continue to work on my own and let everyone else deal with theirs. Makes my goal more real and reachable with a lot less clutter.

Now, after abusing my body, I am at the point it's change my lifestyle or be in pain for whatever time I may have left. So, diet has changed, now eating things I have never thought of eating before. No pain, life's grand!!! And my whole perspective on my life has been changing as well.

If we all can just deal with our own issues, and stop reminding people of their own, then we can actuallyspend more time learning to like who we are. I agree that people need to stop judging everyone over their issues, cause they are just as important to them as ours is to us.

If only the media would be better guides.

Lancaster PA
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Ok, just 'cause I wanna, I'm gonna give a guy's perspective. Yes, I agree that it's annoying to see a woman who's 120lbs complain about being fat, but I also try to look at it from her point of view. When the fashion industry is using 6-foot models who are, on average, between 120 and 130 lbs, look stick-thin, and have the best tits money can buy, how is the "average, modern woman" supposed to feel?? No, they don't have the same stresses and fears, or feel the same shame as most of us who are "overweight", or "heavy", but they can still feel the same *amounts* of pressure, whether it's placed on them by the rest of society or by themselves.

As for strength vs definition, lemme put it this way: first, did you ever hear that according to the "all-encompassing" BMI chart, the average bodybuilder (male *or* female) is morbidly obese? Or that the guy who just set the world record for bench press at just over 1,000 lbs is built like a barrel with legs and has absolutely no muscle definition?

All of you have made good points... JaiDawn hit it on the head with the part about it being a *different* stress, not so much *less* stress. Poly's point about being 38, being in decent shape, and not getting any younger is also a good one, and hits home for me (I'm almost 36, 5'6", and I tip the scales at just shy of 260)... I'm not getting any younger either, and it's been a *VERY* frustrating struggle for me to lose weight. Cindee's list of personal experiences reminded me of a friend we have in the lifestyle who just had the gastric bypass done because she's 5'1" and has been upwards of 230lbs for most of her life. One of her worst (most painful) memories is having her 8year old look at her when she couldn't fit in the seat of an amusement park ride, and tell her, "it's ok mommy, I can go by myself, I'll be ok." In her case, her health issues kept her from being able to exercise, and with having kids, the health issues, and a habit of turning to food for comfort, well... you get the point.

I truly envy the BBW's and BHM's of the world that are truly happy with themselves and can carry themselves with pride, and can *honestly* not care what the world around them thinks of their weight. When I look in the mirror, I'm not unhappy because I'm comparing myself to models, or actors, or the media perceptions of perfection... I'm comparing me to other "real people" around me, and to the 15-year old I was that lost 40lbs over the course of a 4-month wrestling season... and then I'm reminded of what I've done to myself... who knows, maybe that 120 lb woman who thinks she's fat is looking in the mirror and seeing a mother, or sister, or aunt who used to be thin and is now 300+ lbs? Don't just think it's vanity... it's a desire/fear about being accepted for who you are by the rest of the world. BBW/BHM is not just a physical state, it's a state of mind, of *self-image*. Ok, I'm done babbling now :)

happy gropings, folks

T.

Corning NY
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At some time period, throughout history, each and every one of us were considered "hot" at one time or another. Just a shame we can't all be "hot" every moment in time.

I choose to be hot in my own mind, right now and always......and every other woman is as well.

Lancaster PA
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Wow, Amy I agree with you-very well put.

I had a friend who was in fantastic shape (big into sports, athlete type) She put so much pressure on her self to lose 15 lbs. She would work out for hours and literally eat nothing but lettuce with vinegar on it to try and lose weight. She just couldn't lose it- probably because it wasn't there to lose. It used to make me so sad that she could only see herself as fat when everyone knew she wasn't. She would cry to me all the time because she was so frustrated that she couldn't lose weight.

I would tell her that she was in fantastic shape and maybe her body was trying to tell her that she didn't need to lose the weight, but of course no one believes that coming from her chubby friend:)

Wilmington DE
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Poly,

You can have strong ab muscles and they not be defined. My doctor has told me that I have very strong ab muscles. I just wish they looked like they were strong. I am like Amy though. I am just not willing (at this time at least) to do the food regiment to get that. I applaud those who have the dedication to do it though.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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This happened a little while ago, but did anyone see/hear about the episode of the Tyra Banks show where she decided she would wear a fat suit and walk around for a day? What did you think?

I was a little annoyed by it, but I sort of appreciated the gesture. It was hard for her to imagine that people didn't find her attractive for a day (I guess, I'm never really quite sure what her point is) I wonder if I'd have a different perspective if I walked around in a Tyra suit all day.

I suppose my point is is that I don't really know what struggles the 120lb woman has. Maybe she has extra pressure to remain that way, and in her eyes she really sees fat.

I think I disagree with the quote. I have to think about it some more.

Wilmington DE
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very interesting to put the perspective from being body to mental.

Sarasota FL
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TOPIC: An interesting quote