single males issue: Swingers Discussion 435271021

165
single males issue: Swingers Discussion 435271021

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TOPIC: single males issue

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User Details are only visible to members.	Another reason swingers don't do cheaters? Drama. No one wants the other to become a drama situation.
Glen Burnie MD			Username hidden (2785 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think swingers are so against cheaters because of our honesty and openness towards our spouses. We would only play with couples that have that same kind of relationship. We also know how much it would hurt us if the other would cheat,being as close as we are the pain inside would be almost unbearable. Knowing that and knowing how it would hurt the spouse of the cheater is what gives us such a strong feeling on the subject
			Username hidden (2338 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	yawn
Amsterdam NY			Username hidden (66 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	>All in all, if your spouse doesn't know about, or doesn't approve of you swinging, then it can be nothing but cheating. >Maybe swingers are more adamant about cheating because real cheaters give the rest of us a bad name. Cheaters take it on the side for their own selfish needs, they don't share with their spouse, WE Do, that's the difference. Thank you... that pretty much sums it up.
Columbia MD			Username hidden (1270 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	If it makes anyone feel better, the games some single males will play aren't reserved exclusively to swinger sites. I have a very close girlfriend who is recently single after many years of monogamous marriage. When she first ventured into dating, Bacchus and I expressed concern over some naivete. Several weeks ago she joined the matchmaker site. She has me log in as her periodically to read mails and review pics. Oh my!!!!! A lot of the same stuff happens. Guys looking for phone/webcam sex. The ones who are obviously really married, lies about age on and on. She and I get quite the giggles. However, since she is also interested in the lifestyle, I am quick to warn her that we've run up against the same games with couples and single females.
Saint Augustine FL			Username hidden (12572 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I certainly didn't mean to imply that the decision to divorce was a simple one or that it be made lightly. But if the home situation is so intolerable that someone feels that they "must" cheat, then it's time to have that dreaded conversation with your spouse. Decide if the marriage is worth saving and seek help, or decide that it's best to end the relationship and seek a divorce. If one or both of you is THAT miserable with no hope of relief, why continue in the relationship? Will it be messy? Yes. Will it be painful? Yes. Will you each have a fresh start at a new relationship? Yes.
Columbia MD			Username hidden (1270 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As i have said before, we never play with cheaters. For us it is not all about a morals call. In most cases people that are cheating are not doing it because of a lack of sex at home. It most times comes from a lack of communication that over time results in one or both , to make it simple , are lonely. So the person subcontiously is seeking companionship and intimacy. One of the sad things is that they seldom find this in a cheating situation and it often even leaves them feling worse for it as they now have feelings of guilt to add to their problems.It is easy to be on the outside looking in on these things and just say that if you are not finding at home with your own spose what you need that you just need to devorse them and move on. If you have ever been in this situation yourself then you know there is a whole lot more to it than that, there are feelings of failer , children , and often finantial things that add into the picture too.In my case with my first wife, i was not cheating but i for sure was lonly, there were kids in the picture and she had me so emotionally beat down that i couldnt put much sense into anything i was doing. I know when i finally got the gazoonga's enough to say im through, i had excepted that i would spend the rest of my life alone and even more lonly in some ways than i was with her. I couldnt at the time imagine why anyone welse would want me, i felt i was a total failiyer to her and my kids. Well, i have been with my second wife for ten years now. She still worships the ground i walk on for some reason and i feel like the luckiest man in the world. If i had to make a choice between sex and that feeling i get every night when i go to bed and she snuggles up to me , i would take the snuggles. If sex was any better than what we have together i am pretty sure it would be lethal, but those snuggles? ,,,no words to describe them! So what im trying to say is, i do feel for those that have problems with there spose , but we dont need the drama and we dont really feel like we are helping anyone out by being an eccesory to the crime. But when one of the cheaters contacts us and wants to talk on yahoo chat or something and the first thing he asks my wife is were is your hubby right now? or trys to get her to 'sneak' out and meet him, well ,i am not very understanding anymore. We get this type more than a few times every week.We get a fair share of contact from cheating wives too, the diffrence being that their story most times sounds very justified, they are much more convincing than the men. And no, we dont play with cheating girls either, no matter how good their story or how nice the booty is.
Repton AL			Username hidden (80 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	patogether, you're right. It doesn't necessarily have to be discussed and agreed to before the wedding, but it DOES need to be discussed and agreed to at some point. If husband and wife are BOTH happy and comfortable with the situation, then it's a non issue. These problems only come up when one partner arbitrarily changes the rules without discussion with, or consent of the other.
Columbia MD			Username hidden (1270 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	> when talking about other couples that they don't even know. You're right... it was completely out of line for L_and_P to say "I somehow seriously doubt that when you proclaimed that." They don't know us at all. MY statements were made completely based on his/their acknowledgement that they were cheating on their spouses on on their marriage vows and what that entails. >But I have been in the other situation, with a woman that proclaimed the same but who didin't know herself well enough to be able to live the life. Which is why, as you've stated, you're on your second marriage. Trying to make a marriage work requires cooperation and a common mindset on certain issues. If those two things don't exist, it's unfair to both parties to continue the charade. Divorce may be painful, but living inside a long term relationship where both halves of the couple aren't happy is, IMHO, a lot more painful... for them and for everyone else around them. >I guess that I am trying to say that one shouldn't judge others unless one has walked in their shoes. Sorry... constantly lying to my spouse (which is what cheating is) isn't a path I intend to walk.
Columbia MD			Username hidden (1270 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	L-P can use any excuse they want but the fact is maybe he's right about this not being discussed befor the wedding. But the fact it is something we grew into by being open and honest about our feelings. That is still aloyt different then cheating,it is still being faithful,and its still being totally honest with other
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TOPIC: single males issue