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single males issue : Swingers Discussion 43527101
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TOPIC: single males issue
Created by: dynomyte The original post for this thread was deleted.
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<<Did you know he was divorced one time?>>

Heck, so was I!!! LOL

South Riding VA
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My shrink keeps me alive, LITERALLY!! He has helped me in many ways. He knows pharmacology extremely well. Without him, I would have turned off the machine many years ago.

It's my hope that most never need one. A good one is very, very, hard to find.

It is hard to have a disease that no test tube can gather. That makes me trust NO one, but my current MD.

Folks don't know me. They would assume my sexuality needed to be treated as a sigh of active bipolar disease.

Enough said. Be glad you haven't needed one.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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I am a single male on hear and yes I do send emails most get read , some get answered saying not interest , to me just a short note saying not interested is respectful, better than being totally ignored. most single guys on hear I would think are sincere. but then again guess some not , I lost my wife to a friend many years ago while in the service , so I just have a trust issue with women, but it don't mean I don't like to have fun!!!! Personally I think have sex with a married couple is the way to go ( IF both agree) as there are no promblem who she Cares for ect . key there both must agree.

Carthage NC
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Terry, nobody ever promised that marriage would be a rose garden. Neither is divorce as devastating as you have been painting it. MOST divorces are an improvement over a household full of anger. That may not feel true immediately, but as time passes it becomes evident.

You seem to be fixated that most divorces are worse for kids than parents who resent each other staying together. Social workers and marriage counselors would disagree with you if that's what you are really trying to say.

There are no absolutes. Some people are so relieved at the absence of tension and hostility that they perceive things to be better almost immediately. So do some kids, depending on how old they are. Some people are incapable of moving on and getting beyond the divorce and hold on to their baggage of anger & depression. People like that are destined to be angry and depressed no matter whether the couple stays together or divorces. And some people are angry & depressed at first, but as they gain new social networks and new independence, and perhaps even new love, they find the courage to let go of their baggage of anger before it sinks them like an anchor.

There are all kinds of people who respond in all kinds of ways. There is a time in some marriages when it's necessary for people to part ways and forge new lives apart from each other.

Constant anger, frustration, and depression are NEVER good for any parent, and certainly parents like that are not good for their kids.

I wasn't there emotionally and as a nurturer for my daughter as my marriage was falling apart. It was all I could do to keep my OWN act together, let alone be a wise parent at that time. After the separation, I was again able to be there emotionally and nurture my daughter.

I hope you won't continue to paint divorce as evil. Doing that would be a major disservice to Forum readers, and to their kids as well.

If you can find a good counselor whom you trust, then counseling definitely helps people rebuild happy lives faster than they could otherwise.

South Riding VA
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There is no such thing as a "one size fits all" solution for what's best for kids. Living in a home full of anger & hostility is certainly untenable and there's no way it's "best" for kids when they could possibly be living in a 1-parent home without that anger & hostility. Also, divorce sometimes opens the door for a remarriage that provides a wonderfully supportive, loving home for the kids that exceeds anything they could have experienced if their parents stayed together "for the kids."

How kids respond to divorce also depends greatly on their ages at the time of the divorce.

In the end, life does not come with guarantees of "happily ever after." If someone is so miserable in a marriage that they would be better off divorced, then that's what they have to do, and the kids have to learn one of life's hard lessons. The kids may also learn that divorce isn't the end of the world, and that in fact happy parents make the kids happy, too.

My daughter from my 1st marriage was just here visiting for a week. I asked her what she thought her mother and I did as parents that was really GOOD, and without hesitation she answered "your divorce." She said that nothing the other kids told her would happen actually happened. Her father did NOT disappear from her life as the other kids said he would. And neither parent spoke ill of the other in her presence or tried to get her to "take sides." She credited our "midwestern values" for having made the divorce as easy as possible for her.

Every situation is unique, and therefore different from every other.

Jim

South Riding VA
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We were testing the waters. :}

Amsterdam NY
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we luv single men. please contact us. we need sex, badly.

Amsterdam NY
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>Mr and Mrs O - please don't stop posting when you have something to say. You bring a lot of good points to this discussion. You do so respectfully and seriously as far as this writer can tell. That's a good thing.

Thanks... I was tired when I wrote that closing line and wasn't as precise as I should have been.

I should have made it clear that our thoughts on the subject are very simple and don't need to be endlessly repeated or interpreted. The first commitment that a couple has is honesty to each other in all things important to the marriage. Everything flows from that.

Without it, you don't have a marriage, you have two people who can't trust each other sharing a house, friends, a budget and child rearing responsibilities.

Not much else to say on the subject that isn't restating that simple idea.

Columbia MD
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I have been on both sides of this ticket. It's easy to point fingers. It's easy to make judgements. Because I have been on both sides, I throw no stones.

Folks don't walk out of their house one day.. Thinking..Today, I will totally complicate my life. Today, I will cheat. It's normal to need a soul mate, a partner, a lover. If life were perfect, it would be your spouse.

Making the best of a bad situation is just that. Since when is life black/white? Are internet relationships cheating? Are emotional attachments cheating?

I fully believe spouses KNOW when the other is cheating. They choose not to look, notice, cause a ruckus. This is an agreement of two.

My point? There is no absolute right or wrong for anyone except YOU. You determine right and wrong in your life. Morally, ethically, intellectually, it is black and white. However don't put your template on another's life and expect it to work.

"Remove the plank from your own eye, before removing the speck from another's eye."

This doesn't mean I would play with them. But, I throw NO stones.

Mischief <---married the other man.

Glen Burnie MD
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> And what does divorce "teach" your kids? That Daddy won't always be there when I need him -he left because it wasn't everything HE needed - his own welfare and happiness were more important than mine/ours - when things get tough, quit.

If daddy CHOOSES to not be there for the child after the divorce, it's likely that he wasn't there DURING the marriage either.

If mommy PREVENTS daddy from being there, the hatred and the anger were probably so intense that the child is better off not being exposed to it.

Mommy and daddy are, of course, interchangeable and please note the use of the terms likely and probably.

And since you mention the flip side... the flip side of "when things get tough, quit" is "when things get tough, lie." Neither one is a lesson that anyone should be teaching children.

This is obviously a very emotional topic... most people probably have a gut reaction to it and aren't going to change their minds by your words or mine.

On that note, I'm out of this discussion. All it's doing is boring some folks and angering others.

Columbia MD
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TOPIC: single males issue