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TOPIC: kids_finding_out_about_your_life_style
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My son found out via someone other than me . He was not cool about it at all.It took over two years and my father's passing to repair the damage this person caused. That was seven years ago. Today my son is doing his own vanilla thing and I'm still doing my thing and things are cool

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I was hanging out with this couple once... we were in the hot tub and playing around with one of us on the edge of the hot tub and the other two doing what gets done in that situation, when the daughter(late teens) comes home unexpectedly(Was supposedly to be staying with a friend in the next town). I didn't know what to do so I just sat there... The daughter just looked over at us for a min... saw me, rolled her eyes and walked to her room. Came out 5 min later and said she was headed back to where-ever but had forgotten ?????. They just looked at me and laughed and make a crack about how breakfast would be awkward tomorrow...

Lake Worth TX
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Our 18 YO daughter has asked us flat out, "You guys are swingers, huh?". We just asked her what made her think that. She said we go out "dancing" too much and always talk about our friends and parties. We never did give her a denial or confirmation. She doesn't live at home, so we don't have to worry about being "caught". Plus she's a waitress at a strip club, so what's it to her...... Won't she be shocked when mom comes in and gets herself a lap dance. :-)

West Sacramento CA
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Is this one of those "wake up and smell the coffee" moments? By virtue of all the very many clubs and even house parties that have been closed down or broken up over our last 15 years, I know beyond doubt that there are lots and lots of people that think what we do is bad, evil, and sinful. They think we must be stopped. They think our children should be placed in proper homes. They think we should not have jobs in public or private education. They think we should not be allowed access to public service. Every club or party that was shut down except for a few drug related issues was shut down because someone shot there mouth off, threw condoms on the front lawn, exposed them selves in the community, or in some way informed the outsiders of what we were doing.

Have you ever been to a house party full of naked people and had the cops show up? First thing they want to do is come in and see if there are children present. They have their probable cause because of the complaint from the lady next door. It's a real different party let me tell ya.... Oh and the home owner? They eventually had to sell and move to a different community and a different school district.

We already have one post below where the son and daughter in law was disgusted and angry.

Wake up and smell the coffee ..... LOL

Guess you can tell, I favor keeping my mouth shut. Then there are the forums...

Curt n Jane

Pasadena CA
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I had a girlfriend some time ago who used to call my cell and leave cute little nasty messages, including what the two of us were going to do that weekend with another couple or a single guy. Well, I would never reciprocate when I called her home and got her machine for a good reason...I never knew who might listen to the message. (I rarely called her at work or on her cell at all and never left messages because she was a very busy senior executive type and always in the company of others.)

Point is, I called her place one day and no answer. I was going to leave a cute message but did not. I just left a short, "hi, i'll be in san jose next week for a couple days and wonder if you will be free for dinner on thursday or friday? Call my cell, please." Good thing. Her grown son was staying with her that week, but did not answer her phone. Had I left an intimate message, it would have told him things he had no business knowing about.

She always said her son would ask probing questions occasionally, and her reply was always, "I am a single woman and what I do privately is just that! Mind your own business! I don't quiz you about your private, intimate affairs and I never will. For you to inquire after mine is disrespectful and creepy. Mind your manners!" ....(or close to all that, anyway.).

But the phrases, "I don't quiz you... " and " ...disrespectful and creepy" are spot-on accurate to what she said and I agree with them completely

In my opinion, you do not owe anyone an "honest" answer, or even a dishonest answer, regarding these things and discussing these intimate affairs with anyone who you do not do them with is only opening the door for problems for yourself.

It IS disrespectful for anyone, never mind your kid, to demand answers to questions regarding your private, intimate relations. In my opinion, you should ask your kid to leave and don't come back if they can't behave in a respectful manner toward you.

San Luis Obispo CA
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When it comes to my sexual escapades outside of my relationship I'd rather err on the side of caution. I also see no benefit to sharing what goes on in my bedroom or yours . My acquaintances see me as free spirit who thinks outside the box, my children confide in me about things I'd sometimes rather not know , I have one bestie who knows me inside and out and everyone is left to guess, ponder or ignore me. I'm quite comfortable remaining a mystery. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Please don't personalize our posts. If they hit too close for your comfort I am truly sorry.

As some of you are idealistic about about your Lifestyle and honesty/openness there are zealots holding the other point of view. Quite frankly there are twenty of them for every one of us. In the real world that makes them the winners.

I hate to get religious but I think it's funny and applicable. Over (I think) 4000 years ago it was written in the book of Proverbs (I think) "even a fool appears wise when he keeps his mouth shut". Don't bother challenging me. I'm not going to research that further, but that expression hung in my office for years.

Pasadena CA
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"If you run your mouth too much and choose not to put out for your employer..."

Well, then I guess you'll have one hell of a sexual harassment lawsuit to win. Believe it or not, corporate rights don't always overrule individual rights.

I can understand how someone in a small community could be adversely affected by narrow minds, but guess what? America isn't 100% small communities. Some of us live in areas so huge that you're just another anonymous face in a sea of anonymity. I could probably walk down my neighborhood knocking on doors (I won't) telling each and every one of my neighbors that Mrs. Pervy and I like to screw other people, and about the only thing I'd get out of it is "Who are you, and why should I care?"

And we live in a housing development mostly full of old retired people.

Kalona IA
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" If you run your mouth too much, and you choose not to put out for your employer,.."

I could not follow the thread from this point on.

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I can't speak for Curt n Jane but I think it's safe to say that our posts were intended for the general reading audience and not one poster ispecifically. Comments are are usually food for thought or anectdotal. We older folks have learned we don't have all the answers. In fact I'm not sure tomorrow I'll remember the question.

Coeur D Alene ID
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TOPIC: kids finding out about your life style
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