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FORUMS General Discussions 3-Some kids finding out about your life style
TOPIC: kids finding out about your life style
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Please don't personalize our posts. If they hit too close for your comfort I am truly sorry.

As some of you are idealistic about about your Lifestyle and honesty/openness there are zealots holding the other point of view. Quite frankly there are twenty of them for every one of us. In the real world that makes them the winners.

I hate to get religious but I think it's funny and applicable. Over (I think) 4000 years ago it was written in the book of Proverbs (I think) "even a fool appears wise when he keeps his mouth shut". Don't bother challenging me. I'm not going to research that further, but that expression hung in my office for years.

Pasadena CA
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"If you run your mouth too much and choose not to put out for your employer..."

Well, then I guess you'll have one hell of a sexual harassment lawsuit to win. Believe it or not, corporate rights don't always overrule individual rights.

I can understand how someone in a small community could be adversely affected by narrow minds, but guess what? America isn't 100% small communities. Some of us live in areas so huge that you're just another anonymous face in a sea of anonymity. I could probably walk down my neighborhood knocking on doors (I won't) telling each and every one of my neighbors that Mrs. Pervy and I like to screw other people, and about the only thing I'd get out of it is "Who are you, and why should I care?"

And we live in a housing development mostly full of old retired people.

Kalona IA
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" If you run your mouth too much, and you choose not to put out for your employer,.."

I could not follow the thread from this point on.

Flat Rock NC
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I can't speak for Curt n Jane but I think it's safe to say that our posts were intended for the general reading audience and not one poster ispecifically. Comments are are usually food for thought or anectdotal. We older folks have learned we don't have all the answers. In fact I'm not sure tomorrow I'll remember the question.

Coeur D Alene ID
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What it comes down to is really quite simple, my children are grown and gone. I no longer have an employer. If you have children, and you run your mouth too much you can have your children taken away. Do not underestimate the power of the school principals recommendation to child protective services. If you run your mouth too much, and you choose not to put out for your employer, you can almost certainly kiss your ass goodbye.

I can hardly believe what I'm reading.

Pasadena CA
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I remember the invincability of youth. What Sav said rings true. There are a lot of unexpected changes and turns in life's journey and I feel fortunate to have survived the high risk taking years and mistakes that went with it. Would'nt change a thing and own it all but also realize so much of what I thought I was sure about in my youth has evaporated. Playing it safe can be dull and uninvigorating but a little caution is sometimes wise.

Coeur D Alene ID
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i'm retired and at an age where I don't care too much what people think but my wife has a very public job and would be affected negatively in her work. Thus we don't put face pics or tell our neighbors, co-workers, family etc. I would put my face pics on but it would out the wife. Being only known to our lifestyle friends is good enough. The shared secrecy even adds to the fun.

Coeur D Alene ID
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"I tend to not care what people think of me in that regard. If you want to gossip about me, that says a lot about what kind of person you are. Karma. I'm not saying I'm going to run around broadcasting, but if the subject comes up, I'm not going to lie unless I have a damn good reason to."

No offense intended but you comments on the topic are really the first time I feel your opinion is a reflection of your youth. I don't think you realize the potential ramifications of the wrong person becoming aware of your lifestyle. Friends, even what appear to be great friendships don't always last forever. An ex friend is a potential powder keg of explosive information. I'm sure you've had at least one bad experience where someone you thought you could trust stabbed you in the back .Your job could be affected or something as silly as volunteering to be a Big Brother/ Big Sister. I was young and idealistic once too , I had the same attitude of not caring what others think but didn't comprehend the bigger picture or sometimes the consequences of my actions. I still have that attitude but that doesn't mean I need to put my lifestyle in your face tempting you to judge me. I am happy you are excited for this journey but I caution you to be careful who you tell what to and to think through the very worse case scenario of the wrong person finding out before you make any rash announcements and bare your soul.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Friends is a very loose word contextually , I have "friends" I work with, parents of my children's friends or any of the 1,000 other way people use the word friend. If you feel so safe that you believe no one would dare cast judgment on you, gossip about you or ruin your relationships with family and work.....broadcast til your hearts content. At my age I realize that people, even friends don't always behave or react the way you'd expect them too. Even if you decide you can live without the "friend" who betrayed you be sure you can live with the backlash you will not longer be able to control. Once the words leave your mouth they can never be taken back, the damage can not be undone. I'd think long and hard about who I outed myself to you if I were you.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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"Several of you people are equating honesty with openness. When you do that you set yourself up for situational honesty. "

I agree with C&J it is none of anyone's business what I do sexually, not the neighbors, not my vanilla friends and certainly not my children. Any question from ANY relating to my personal life with get a role reversal with me asking the most outlandish , outrageously personal questions one could ever phantom. My children and I discuss sex and I share with them what I feel they need to know or answer general questions PERIOD. While I believe I am friends with all my grown children I am first and foremost their mother and as such I still decide what is their BUSINESS . In the case of swinging their is absolutely no benefit to them or me to delve into those details of my private life. I am also appalled by friends I know whose children knew at an early age ( 8 and 13) due to their complete lack of decorum as parents , their constant house parties , strangers ( boy toys and girl friends) being brought over and introduced as aunty and uncle and the fact they thoughtless leave shit all over their house. Once they confirmed what their daughter asked all pretense was put aside and now they are "so open and honest".........makes me want to throw up. Isn't cute to tell your daughter mommy has a date tonight how does she look?

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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TOPIC: kids finding out about your life style