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kids finding out about your life style : Swingers Discussion 209459
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TOPIC: kids finding out about your life style
Created by: victoriabrian
Original Starting post for this thread:
What do you do when your son says "Do you belong to a Swing Site?" Our 25 year old son was over with his wife and says to us this question and for the first time I was speechless, my husband say really fast NO, and our son says but you go to the dances right? His wife hits him and says it is none of your business what your mom and dad do. So what do you do or say?
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Maritimers, Thank you for your thoughtful and kind reply.

Bonneau SC
 
 
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I enjoyed your post, Racer. Your holy book might be full of dust but your reflections demonstrate a concern for morality and ethics that capture much of their essence.

Amherst Canada
 
 
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Judgement: In the End, the only judgement that we really need to be concerned about is the Final Judgement. God's judgement. I picture it all on folding like this. We will all be, one day, in the Great Court room in the Sky. God will be the Sovereign Judge and you better hope Jesus is your lawyer. Your whole family and others will be there watching. Your life will be flashed like a giant movie screen across the wall. Your entire life, the good, the bad and the ugly. Your best witness better be your spouse. In the end we will be held accountable for answering how we have behaved here on Earth. Is sex with others outside of your marriage WRONG? Hmmm, I do not think so, but have been told otherwise. I could say, it wasn't about the sex, it was just a vehicle for us to learn from.........to learn human behavior.......to become more wise........that's what I was trying to do. It was just a sport to us. No big deal. We even found someone that we really liked//loved. Not the Soul Mate love and chemistry that Janet and I have, but ....... the friendship, feelings and fun were real......... it was RIGHT! Good.....and ...... Honest. "How about the others you say?" Hmmmm, well all the others......were either leading up to her or it was after her. Just like in the South..........either before The War for Southern Independence OR after the war. I wonder,..........I wonder if that will be enough? I'm concerned about it,....we plan for everything that we do in life, vacations, work, relationships, but how much planning do we do for our one day eventual departure?? Not enough I am sure. Just before the judgment will be rendered........due to the GUILTY ruling, because we are all sinners, I know our only salvation will be when he looks in The Book of Life and sees our names listed. I look over at my Bible and see dust collecting on it,.........hmmm. I believe I will pick it up and read a little.

Bonneau SC
 
 
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CurtnJane The saying goes: T'is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

My late father use to tell us that all the time

Philadelphia PA
 
 
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My son found out via someone other than me . He was not cool about it at all.It took over two years and my father's passing to repair the damage this person caused. That was seven years ago. Today my son is doing his own vanilla thing and I'm still doing my thing and things are cool

Philadelphia PA
 
 
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I was hanging out with this couple once... we were in the hot tub and playing around with one of us on the edge of the hot tub and the other two doing what gets done in that situation, when the daughter(late teens) comes home unexpectedly(Was supposedly to be staying with a friend in the next town). I didn't know what to do so I just sat there... The daughter just looked over at us for a min... saw me, rolled her eyes and walked to her room. Came out 5 min later and said she was headed back to where-ever but had forgotten ?????. They just looked at me and laughed and make a crack about how breakfast would be awkward tomorrow...

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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Our 18 YO daughter has asked us flat out, "You guys are swingers, huh?". We just asked her what made her think that. She said we go out "dancing" too much and always talk about our friends and parties. We never did give her a denial or confirmation. She doesn't live at home, so we don't have to worry about being "caught". Plus she's a waitress at a strip club, so what's it to her...... Won't she be shocked when mom comes in and gets herself a lap dance. :-)

West Sacramento CA
 
 
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Is this one of those "wake up and smell the coffee" moments? By virtue of all the very many clubs and even house parties that have been closed down or broken up over our last 15 years, I know beyond doubt that there are lots and lots of people that think what we do is bad, evil, and sinful. They think we must be stopped. They think our children should be placed in proper homes. They think we should not have jobs in public or private education. They think we should not be allowed access to public service. Every club or party that was shut down except for a few drug related issues was shut down because someone shot there mouth off, threw condoms on the front lawn, exposed them selves in the community, or in some way informed the outsiders of what we were doing.

Have you ever been to a house party full of naked people and had the cops show up? First thing they want to do is come in and see if there are children present. They have their probable cause because of the complaint from the lady next door. It's a real different party let me tell ya.... Oh and the home owner? They eventually had to sell and move to a different community and a different school district.

We already have one post below where the son and daughter in law was disgusted and angry.

Wake up and smell the coffee ..... LOL

Guess you can tell, I favor keeping my mouth shut. Then there are the forums...

Curt n Jane

Pasadena CA
 
 
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I had a girlfriend some time ago who used to call my cell and leave cute little nasty messages, including what the two of us were going to do that weekend with another couple or a single guy. Well, I would never reciprocate when I called her home and got her machine for a good reason...I never knew who might listen to the message. (I rarely called her at work or on her cell at all and never left messages because she was a very busy senior executive type and always in the company of others.)

Point is, I called her place one day and no answer. I was going to leave a cute message but did not. I just left a short, "hi, i'll be in san jose next week for a couple days and wonder if you will be free for dinner on thursday or friday? Call my cell, please." Good thing. Her grown son was staying with her that week, but did not answer her phone. Had I left an intimate message, it would have told him things he had no business knowing about.

She always said her son would ask probing questions occasionally, and her reply was always, "I am a single woman and what I do privately is just that! Mind your own business! I don't quiz you about your private, intimate affairs and I never will. For you to inquire after mine is disrespectful and creepy. Mind your manners!" ....(or close to all that, anyway.).

But the phrases, "I don't quiz you... " and " ...disrespectful and creepy" are spot-on accurate to what she said and I agree with them completely

In my opinion, you do not owe anyone an "honest" answer, or even a dishonest answer, regarding these things and discussing these intimate affairs with anyone who you do not do them with is only opening the door for problems for yourself.

It IS disrespectful for anyone, never mind your kid, to demand answers to questions regarding your private, intimate relations. In my opinion, you should ask your kid to leave and don't come back if they can't behave in a respectful manner toward you.

San Luis Obispo CA
 
 
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When it comes to my sexual escapades outside of my relationship I'd rather err on the side of caution. I also see no benefit to sharing what goes on in my bedroom or yours . My acquaintances see me as free spirit who thinks outside the box, my children confide in me about things I'd sometimes rather not know , I have one bestie who knows me inside and out and everyone is left to guess, ponder or ignore me. I'm quite comfortable remaining a mystery. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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TOPIC: kids finding out about your life style