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is our age a off putting : Swingers Discussion 2122511081
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TOPIC: is our age a off putting
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I venture a guess that some hesitation may exist not because someone is not interested in a 20yo; people might feel as if you would not be interested in an old person of 40.

Good for you establishing and pursuing your preference at an early age. Keep on keeping on as you have a lot of good years ahead! There has been some good advice written on this thread and you will certainly head what you feel is right for you.

Philadelphia PA
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"It doesn't help that I am 20 and have not found a single swingers club that would let me in =("

As unfair as it may seem, they are just protecting themselves from legal problems. Since most clubs live under a legal eye that is always just *itching* to send the cops in to bust it up, the last thing a club owner wants to do is to give the cops a reason to search the premises. And having anyone there under 21 is a reason.

It's not like it's 30. It won't be long :)

Land O Lakes FL
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I will admit to you that it is off-putting, at least to some extent, to many. That's not to say it can't be overcome, but it would take some convincing that you weren't a couple of emotional brats.

And by that, I do not mean to presume you are, but I can tell you that the experience we have had with people under about 25 - and even most under 30 - has been, with few exceptions, a headache. Some good friends of ours who were in their mid-20s themselves set their bottom age at 30, simply because they were so tired of dealing with bullshit from younger people.

You *do* cross a magic line when you turn 21, however. Reaching drinking age suddenly releases some people's nerves about somehow being caught up in a "minor with alcohol" problem.

Most of us have something about ourselves that works against us. Be thankful that yours is one that will get better with time - most of ours (gravity-related) only get worse with time!

Land O Lakes FL
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No, your age is not off putting, nor is your preference for single females. As for attraction, I find it funny that at age 52 and hovering near 180 pounds, I seem to attract young single females quite well. And not even funny ha ha.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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First about your age. That is a number. We have a great 26yo guy we enjoy adding to our evenings, IF schedules work out. Thats 12-15 years age difference for us. Some single males our age have a LONG way to go to ever get close to us. Be your self and enjoy the time you get to decompress from the new family stresses. If it happens cool, if not cool. When we first started we kept getting all hung up on if we meet folks we clicked with and were attracted too now a nice night out is just that if we play or not.

OK THE CLUBS......... That can be a sticking point to get in BUT there are just as many house parties, Meet and Greets at restaurant/bars and just plain get togethers that swingers hold. Chat with some folks in your local area, Single Gals/Guys or couples it don't matter. Friends are that friends. They may know folks you wold be good with and even in time you might get to be more later on! ! !

Don't worry about your body. None of us will ever look as good as "That one time............." LOL Be confidant with who you are Not conceited.

Lastly its about FUN NOT WORK. If this starts getting too hard to do RELAX and come at it a different way.

Mansfield OH
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Its_Our_Pleasure, I hope you recognize that everyone posting here is only expressing their own opinion, and no matter how right they think they are, they do NOT speak for anyone else, much less the majority of people you will come in contact with. Take what people write with a shaker of salt and figure out what is true for you. YOUR happiness is what's most important here, not some arrogant stranger's judgement.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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AArrgghhh! YOU completely UN-loyal subjects! Bow and kiss thy RINGS!!!

To the O.P.----Yes, congratulations on looking and feeling better! You have earned every compliment, (I know we do). BUT the road ahead will not be an easy one. The last bit of excess weight will be a challenge. The road will be seem very steep at times and the compliments will decrease because you will be seen more as a competitor the better in shape that you become. This is when you MUST become mentally tough and push through those ever increasing HARDER workouts! If you only have 10 minutes a day.........take the time to go outside and jump-rope or do jumping jacks for those 10 minutes. DO NOT GIVE UP! Keep pushing. Being in shape is a Marathon NOT a sprint. It truly is the fountain of youth and a Healthy lifestyle. Forget about the stretch marks, we have wrinkles and I am going gray and bald............. we simply can not do anything about those things. Concentrate on the things that you can do something about and use the previous negatives as motivators to push harder. Good luck to you and we wish you the best! Travis and Janet

Bonneau SC
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Like so many others we don't have all of the answers but I know in our area local clubs have become very careful about whom they admit, both vanilla and lifestyle friendly places, because the local ordinances about allowing minors into establishments where people are allowed to drink are pretty strictly enforced. They just fined 20 plus bars, restaurants and clubs a few weeks ago and just from my own memory this is at least the fourth of fifth time this has happened.

Add to that the difficulty of finding someone who fits the bill for what you're looking for-single women are likely always in heavy demand by both people in the lifestyle and single (wo)men just out there looking for that special someone.

We sort of approach it all like cake. Everyone loves cake. Everyone always want more-but at the end of the day if we only get to eat our own piece of cake well we're okay. If we get extra, then great!

Grand Rapids MI
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"Y'all are attractive and cute for sure, BUT you will be competing with couples like us for single girls. Very experienced and very fit."

This sums up the true definition of arrogance !!!!!!!! What a complete turn off to say the least. Thankfully most swingers aren't so shallow and would prefer to have sex with an averagely attractive person that someone who thought they were Gods gift and had the personality of a viper.

Confidence is the value you place on yourself , arrogance is the value you place on others.

I wish you happiness, patience and successful fantasies.........a bit of thick skin won't hurt a bit either as there is always someone who thinks trying to make you look back somehow makes them look better.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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i recognize that i can't compete with your ripped wife lol. i will never have that smooth skin again. my weight loss journey is not about looks, it's about feeling better. *

Stop being so hard on yourself. Racer is too full of themselves. What you have that Racer will never have again, is your age. If I had to pick between you two, I'd go for your type over Racer. I'm bi, but Mrs.Racer does nothing for me, neither does Mr.Racer. You however, have a cute hubby, and I happened to think that you're quite attractive. You've done great with your weight loss, continue on the good path, incorporate a workout routine, and you'll be just fine.

While attractiveness is subjective, and we get lured based on looks first, sometimes people become incredibly unattractive when they open their mouths.

As to your age, no, your age is not off putting at all. Be patient, I promise you, you'll find what you seek.

Allenhurst NJ
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TOPIC: is our age a off putting