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guy nice enough, but can't perform : Swingers Discussion 237466
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FORUMSGeneral Discussions3-Someguy nice enough, but can't perform
TOPIC: guy nice enough, but can't perform
Created by: kinksterhere
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First of all, some women like a softer touch, others a little rough. The key is knowing what she prefers, which involves actually communicating one's preferences. Sadly, some women assume we men are mind readers, and it becomes a hit or miss proposition. I've never been afraid to ask what a partner wants, and hopefully she's confident enough to divulge her desires. And, with a regular play partner, the comfort level will usually increase over time so that we know what really floats the other's boat ;)

Tempe AZ
 
 
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I don't necessarily agree with the "more pressure on the clit." for some that's true, for others it's not. It's more important to respond to the communication I get back from her. I encourage my partners to talk to me and whatever else it takes for them to get the most from me.

I have had trouble performing for a variety of reasons. I have a lot of anxiety and insecurity. I am on some meds to boost my testosterone production. I'm also on one to stop my body from excessively converting testosterone to estrogen. I'm probably going to switch to testosterone replacement soon. I recently stopped taking a diet pill that gave me all the symptoms of BPH. I was even having trouble sometimes with Tammy. When we go to a party or meet with another couple, I usually take half a Xanax to help with the anxiety. I also take Cialis. Things are getting better, but it takes time.

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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How true...a lot of guys don't know how to eat a pussy! Use your whole tongue, not just the tip, fingers too. And use more pressure on the clit!

Lake Hamilton FL
 
 
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Unbelievable......YES we used to go out meet single guys and the wife was well taken care of. Literally for the last two years they have been failures.....unable to stand the rocket up for launch. And guys who say they can eat pussy??? let me tell you when you're down there doing what you think is your thing she is rolling her eye at me......in boredom----- not ecstasy. I even tell them in advance you have to work her clit. At first i think my wife was getting a complex from it......she wasn't pretty enough, sexy enough, then we said its the condoms now we say say what the fuck..............

Blandville WV
 
 
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What I've experienced is that the older the guys get, the more oral stimulation they need. I don't mind it cause I get my pussy played with a lot! I always say "siilky fingers, wet tongue, hot bodies and up she goes!".

Lake Hamilton FL
 
 
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kinkster, first let me say, I am at a loss for how a hetero male could be near you and NOT be hard. second, ditto everything VA said.

but whatever you do girl, please, don't give up on it. sooner or later everyone needs to come see the mouse. :)

Orlando FL
 
 
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Viagra is not a "fix all" solution. When we first started hubby had anxiety issues. So we went to the dr. For the magic blue pill. $250.00 later the moment arrived. Still the little guy refused to rise to attention. Finally figured it was not a physical problem so viagra was not going to help. He just had to learn to relax and enjoy.

Corcoran MN
 
 
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I'll add my own 2 cents...my man has had this happen on occasion and I noticed his confidence take a giant hit from it. Some men we have played with also had a bit of an issue at the beginning, but after I have my first good, STRONG, screaming orgasm, the cock that was getting ejected out of me had no problems anymore.

And now, we are beginning a bit of experimentation with one of the aforementioned meds. I was able to have that ├╝ber STRONG orgasm without my clenching wetness ejecting the cock! It was a wonderful experience. But, amongst the experimentation, we have noticed that my "lady parts" relax enough after that first orgasm that the pill wouldn't be needed. I have burned the rotating motors in two of my toys because my girl down there just clamps down so hard right before orgasm, it's no wonder she ejects cocks, and yes sometimes even the hardest ones.

Moral of the story, sometimes the pussy just gets too tight to accommodate the cock until it relaxes too!

And for you other gurls that have had frustrated men just shove their limp stuff in your face, don't allow that behavior because that us no fun for anyone. You always have two choices. Gently tell him to shove a couple of (clean) fingers in you and pay some attention to your clit until you cum which will cause your parts to relax a bit. This will stoke his ego a bit if he thinks the "problem" is your tightness and not neccessarily him. Then once he makes you cum once, his confidence will be back and hopefully his hard-on will be too, and then you can work on your next orgasm.

Your other choice, especially if him and his limpness have been so frustrated that it has turned into borderline disrespect, get up and announce that you are not comfortable anymore and leave.

Guys, please don't take your frustrations out on us and shove limpness in our faces. It's not our fault and we have the choice to be there or not. Swinging can be a lot like marriage - if the gurls in the room aren't happy, there is no one happy! ;-)

Take care! --T

Jacksonville FL
 
 
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Great comments everyone.... food for thought!

Manassas VA
 
 
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@ Ameriasian917.

I agree with your second to last post. Biggest sex organ is the brain. My brain has failed me at times and then turns right around and bam, makes it last forever.

It is 80% mental and 20 physical in my opinion.

Out of curiosity, is you other half Filipina? Is so, maganda!!

San Diego CA
 
 
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TOPIC: guy nice enough, but can't perform