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advice needed so close to happiness : Swingers Discussion 53565
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TOPIC: advice needed so close to happiness
Created by: eternalbliss246
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi everyone, I had started this thread on the pennsylvania topic listing and also in the bbw listing.but i thought maybe i should place a post here as well. This was in reply to those that wrote there,i tried to copy and paste my original thread but I couldn't so if you want to see the original thread please check it out...

thank you for reading

Hi everyone

thank you all so much for all the kind words and replies it really means alot I do think I wasn't as clear when I wrote as I should have been,I don't believe that any of the rejections were due to people not being attracted to my wife.She is a very beautiful and sensuous woman as anyone can tell from the pictures,she feels self-concious because she doesn't believe people when they give her compliments (I give her compliments all the time and tell her how beautiful and sexy she is),but even though she is a little self concious about the rejections,I think she knows and I definitely know,the rejections are not about her,they are about me. When she is out at clubs or out shopping alone,she is constantly hit on by guys,and she has had 3 female lovers as well. The problem I suppose is me. I always thought I was a good looking guy (not Brad Pitt but at least decent) and before I was married I didn't have much trouble finding partners. But since I've been married I think maybe my looks aren't what they used to be. I'm the lead singer in a rock band and I'm a very nice person,very respectful etc.. but I believe all our rejections are about me. She even at one point gave me permision to play alone if I wanted, I felt very uneasy about this but she knew how badly I missed the lifestyle,at her suggestion I just put my picture on the site to see if I'd get any e-mails. But we got none. So all I can assume is the problem is with me. Please check out our profile,I've added a bunch of new pics. Is the problem with me? The reason our profile says we are not in the life style anymore is because she got very frustrated at being members here for 2 years and not finding any luck and she saw how badly I missed it and was very depressed about not finding anyone. That is why she wrote the final update. As far as the meet and greets,she wants to wait until we both lose weight and gain confidence before we start going to the meet and greets or the swing clubs. She's afraid we'll still get rejected. I miss it so badly that I don't know if I can wait for another year or longer. I'm really frustrated and sad and I know the things that would give me happiness are very close but just slightly out of reach. In every other way we are the happiest and most in love couple in the world. This is the one thing missing that would give us complete happiness. Thanks for reading and have a very Merry Christmas and happy new year. God bless you all !

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hi everyone,

last reply to my post here thank you to the kind people who have written giving encouragement and kind words

to the ones who feel i should just be content your point has been made i'm gone from the forum bye everyone

have a great holiday season God bless, Bill

Grantville PA
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(78 posts)
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We're not really sure you are going to find the answers you are looking for. It isn't your looks. There are so many people in the lifestyle that you will find the right ones if you keep trying. You just have to be patient. Your profile doesn't help. Who is going to contact you after reading that you are leaving the lifestyle? Most of us would just wish you luck. If both of you want this, then change your profile and be honest about what you are looking for. When we started swinging over 25 years ago there was no internet at our disposal. We answered and placed ads in magazines and Adult book stores and we met a lot of couples we just weren't compatible with. The one thing we learned was patience. The people we did find compatible were well worth the wait. Good Luck in whatever you decide.

Williamsburg VA
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hi again everyone :)

thank you to everyone who has replied to my posts it really means alot having the encouragement of everyone here

i do feel lead to make another post here because I don't think I worded things right,or maybe I am mis-reading things

I have posted a few different times,asking for advice and help in having more luck here at this site,which i love very much,that's why we're all here right? because we love this site and we love the lifestyle and the chance to have fun the way we want to a lot of the responces i've gotten are people saying basicly 'we enjoy the lifestyle,we have luck,we've been having fun with others,but it really isn't a big deal,we could take it or leave it and it wouldn't matter,and by the way it shouldn't matter if you have luck in this because you should just be happy with what you have' maybe i've mis-read it but that's what i get from a lot of the responces i've gotten. I'm confused because if it is not a big deal and they could take it or leave it,then why are they here? me and my wife are members because this was something we really wanted to experience and we loved it very much while it lasted and i personally miss it terribly and to have someone else who is having sucess tell me that i shouldn't care if i get to have fun in this way seems a bit unfair the best example i can give is if someone drives a 88 VW jetta every day and their neighbor drives a 65 beautiful mustang...and you tell the person that you'd love to work hard and someday drive a 65 mustang too,and they tell you "forget it,i have one but it doesn't mean anything to me,you should just be happy with your jetta and i'll drive my mustang any time i want but it isn't important to me and you shouldn't want to drive one either"

maybe i've read things wrong i just really miss the life i had and was asking others in my situation for advice,not asking for people to tell me to give up and be happy without it...because if i'm happy without and everyone else is happy without it then why are we all here?

*smiling* i hope i didn't rant too long (lol) thanks for reading have a beautiful Christmas everyone and a beautiful new year God bless,

Bill

Grantville PA
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we feel that this is extra fun for us and if we dont get our lives are more then fine without it ! we are strange been married over 14 years and we still enjoy sex ....................with each other still lol figure that one out lol ..........somefun

Whitney Point NY
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while i totally agree that love is the most important thing in the world it is also true that everyone has an opinion and for some people it is important to own a beautiful car or to have the nicest house or to have 4 children,two boys and two girls etc... it's all about prioritys and while love and our relationship is ALWAYS number 1 in our lives,this lifestyle is important to me,and I feel a little hurt that i'm being told that what I want is not something I should want some people enjoy chocolate ice cream and others enjoy strawberry what I'm trying to say is that we all have our own ideas of what happiness means we can and have lived very happily just the 2 of us for over 13 years I just really enjoyed the variety that this lifestyle gave while in the protection of a loving relationship I don't feel that's wrong and I'm sorry other's disagree I would never try to tell someone that their value system is wrong and I don't think my post should have "set anyone off"

happy holidays everyone!

Bill

Grantville PA
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Triple, u r so sweet!

Fort Worth TX
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The fact that you two are very much in love speaks volumes. Swinging is all about attitude and you just have to stay positive. You have each other for support. That makes you one step closer.

Kisses and Merry Christmas!

RaveN (:

Fort Worth TX
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Hi everyone, I had started this thread on the pennsylvania topic listing and also in the bbw listing.but i thought maybe i should place a post here as well. This was in reply to those that wrote there,i tried to copy and paste my original thread but I couldn't so if you want to see the original thread please check it out...

thank you for reading

Hi everyone

thank you all so much for all the kind words and replies it really means alot I do think I wasn't as clear when I wrote as I should have been,I don't believe that any of the rejections were due to people not being attracted to my wife.She is a very beautiful and sensuous woman as anyone can tell from the pictures,she feels self-concious because she doesn't believe people when they give her compliments (I give her compliments all the time and tell her how beautiful and sexy she is),but even though she is a little self concious about the rejections,I think she knows and I definitely know,the rejections are not about her,they are about me. When she is out at clubs or out shopping alone,she is constantly hit on by guys,and she has had 3 female lovers as well. The problem I suppose is me. I always thought I was a good looking guy (not Brad Pitt but at least decent) and before I was married I didn't have much trouble finding partners. But since I've been married I think maybe my looks aren't what they used to be. I'm the lead singer in a rock band and I'm a very nice person,very respectful etc.. but I believe all our rejections are about me. She even at one point gave me permision to play alone if I wanted, I felt very uneasy about this but she knew how badly I missed the lifestyle,at her suggestion I just put my picture on the site to see if I'd get any e-mails. But we got none. So all I can assume is the problem is with me. Please check out our profile,I've added a bunch of new pics. Is the problem with me? The reason our profile says we are not in the life style anymore is because she got very frustrated at being members here for 2 years and not finding any luck and she saw how badly I missed it and was very depressed about not finding anyone. That is why she wrote the final update. As far as the meet and greets,she wants to wait until we both lose weight and gain confidence before we start going to the meet and greets or the swing clubs. She's afraid we'll still get rejected. I miss it so badly that I don't know if I can wait for another year or longer. I'm really frustrated and sad and I know the things that would give me happiness are very close but just slightly out of reach. In every other way we are the happiest and most in love couple in the world. This is the one thing missing that would give us complete happiness. Thanks for reading and have a very Merry Christmas and happy new year. God bless you all !

Grantville PA
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(78 posts)
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TOPIC: advice needed so close to happiness