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Wife wants something different, but then she doesn't : Swingers Discussion 58581
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FORUMSGeneral Discussions3-SomeWife wants something different, but then she doesn't
TOPIC: Wife wants something different, but then she doesn't
Created by: brandsh The original post for this thread was deleted.
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you have to ask to do your weekend gas the racecar gig ? There is something more to this than what we know from these posts. Seems you are her puppet, she has control over you. I mean, I expect communication if James is gonna go do stuff without me, but I don't have to give him permission, hes a big boy. The same with me....if I want to do something with the girls, a short trip to the shore or whatever...we talk about it, but I would never stand for him telling me no for no reason.

I agree with working thru rough times in a relationship, but how long is too long ? I stayed in a marriage for 8 additional years than I would have just to try to get over that hump....never happened and I am a diplomatic woman, he just wouldn't change and grow with me....he regressed. I suspect you will know when enough is enough, with or without any of our input. Good luck~!

~Cathy

Mifflinburg PA
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Mrs. USTO,

I apologize if my response hurt your feelings. I did not intend my response to be a slam on you; rather I intended to compare that response (which basically was a "good luck but I don't know what to recommend to you" with the one that followed it as far as providing something constructive that they could possibly use to improve their situation.

I still love ya, baby!

Jim :-)

South Riding VA
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You guys may be right but what if instead she's going thru a "change of life" crisis and has periods of depression. Do you give up on her? I have personally seen this with friends and relatives. And it occurs around brandsh and his wife's age.

My suggestion would be to use a process of elimination by having her get a medical check up and inform her doctor about her behavior. Naturally I'm basing this on the assumption there are other signs, pure guess work . But who would know better than brandsh?

West Chester PA
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YES YES YES!!! You said the key words there pato- BOTH WAYS!!!!

How much do you have to give someone before they are happy that they have all of you and you are left with nothing?!

Lancaster PA
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What I meant is: being unselfish in this relationship got you this far, how much farther will continuing to be unselfish get ya. Will there ever come a time where YOUR feelings, needs and emotions ever come FIRST?

Lancaster PA
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"Needless to say at ALL TIMES focus on her and her reactions. You must assume the attitude that you are here to pleasure her not yourself. Your pleasure comes from knowing that you successfully satisfied her."

I think this is what he HAS been doing. This is where the problem lies. It still isnt good enough, will never be it seems and she wants SOMEONE new, NOT SOMETHING new!

But hey, if you find that unselfish advice useful, then use it.

Lancaster PA
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Thx Brandsh. Now I left a lot out. So to be clear for ex. during the massage you are not to touch the vagina or breast until at least 20 minutes has past. The massage is for her with no strings attached. Then forplay for the next 5 minutes. Then give her little johnny vibes to play with.

While she's pleasuring herself, position yourself near her head so she can take you in her mouth. At the same time insert your fingers in her and gently massage until she comes. Then do the doggy bit.

Needless to say at ALL TIMES focus on her and her reactions. You must assume the attitude that you are here to pleasure her not yourself. Your pleasure comes from knowing that you successfully satisfied her.

A womens intuition knows if you are in it for her or yourself.

West Chester PA
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Start out with a nice soft full massage. Then give her a little johnny viibes toy and have her bring herself to orgasm. Then do her doggy style wiith alternating timing.

Be carefull not to cum until you believe she's had enough. Then finish fast and hard.

she'll come around after that.

ideaman

West Chester PA
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Look, stop thinking of everyone else and their feelings ~ which is sacrificing your own internal happiness. That is quite apparent.

It doesnt really matter at this point what anyone says. You have made up your mind to live in this misery and play the victim. Until you choose not to be that victim any longer, then you will have to wallow in it until you finally drown. Any therapist will tell you that you need to work on your own stuff before anything else. And this stuff is contributing to the negative dynamics of your marriage.

Building your self-esteem will make you think clearer and more rationally. Until you work on that, nothing else will change. Either accept that you will sacrifice your happiness pleasing someone else for the rest of your life ~ OR ~ put your big boy booties on and start to stepping! And I mean walking in your own life and allowing others that will keep pace to walk along side you. Those who cant keep up, well, let them fall behind!

Lancaster PA
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I second that BRAVO!!

Fort Worth TX
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TOPIC: Wife wants something different, but then she doesn't