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Wife chatting with the other guy after the playtime : Swingers Discussion 192769
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TOPIC: Wife chatting with the other guy after the playtime
Created by: thrust6969
Original Starting post for this thread:
We met a guy and have played 3 times with him. He is 20 years younger than the wife. We agreed that she would not contact him between meetings, then i checked her phone and found text messages to him. She made lame excuses about she thought i meant sexy text messages not just messages hoping he was OK? I feel bad as she has lied to me and that is something we should not be doing if we are swingers. Do other wives keep in contact with there swing partners between play dates?
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The very best meetings of bodies begin with a meeting of minds. ;) (Honey...where did I leave that map of Pennsylvania? We may need to plan a road trip...)

Richmond VA
 
 
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Part 2: Of course, it's ideal when communication is so good that when one partner begins to feel something akin to what happened here, they open that issue to examine it together rather than 'hiding' or failing to acknowledge the changes. That's when it becomes cheating, because usually the one acting out knows, but can't face acknowledging it to the other partner. Peace and Blessings. Each one of us has our own path to trod, but it's a great blessing when we find another to travel the road together.

Trophy Club TX
 
 
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You know, most are calling it cheating, but it's really a call to both in the original relationship to recognize that something is changing -- and on the other side the relationship may not be what it was before. You can't really keep a relationship alive if one has mentally moved to another place in their life and the other still assumes that what was known still exists. That's where the real work begins, to identify if the existing relationship can expand to include what may be nascent or unfulfilled needs being expressed by the behavior, whether it's a momentary reliving of old feelings reawakened, or whether the differences are so great that each needs to acknowledge that individual fulfillment may require separate paths. Good luck, because it requires honesty and a strength of character to look for the answer to those questions in the eyes of your partner and be willing to recognize the 'other' that has a life of his/her own to choose.

Trophy Club TX
 
 
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@ Rdy...don't get me wrong, and @looky if I came across as a jugdemental...uhm, lol...what's the male term for a biyotch...?...then I apologize. I've been in two previous marriages where I've been cheated on, and it hurts. I'm a retired Marine, and the long separations aren't easy on a marriage. In both cases I tried to stick it out and work through the pain, distrust, and myriad of other problems that infidelity causes. Both, obviously, still ended. Regardless of how good your heart is, the thoughts do stay with you. They can be buried under better experiences, and over time they come up less often, but they're there. The loss of trust is something I never want to experience again.

Believe me, I also applaud anyone who is willing to try to work through this type of thing. If it DOES work then you've learned some valuable lessons that will hopefully stay with you and acted upon. What I wrote was certainly no indictment towards Mr looky or his devotion to his lovely lady. Marriages...heck all relationships need work to succeed. So looky, believe it or not, I'm on your side...I hope you both can stay together and be happy. Like Forrest Gump...that's all I got to say 'bout that...

@ Rdy...lol...I seem to recall you being considerably harsher in a different string, I'm assuming that's what the "judgemental" statement was referring to. :) I'm also assuming that was because in THAT string we were speaking directly to the guilty party. In THIS one, we really are of the same opinion, I believe, even it didn't seem that way.

Richmond VA
 
 
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@ looky...Naahhh...sorry but I can't roll with that one. Trust is the basis for our ability to participate in the lifestyle. Our involvement is there to enhance what is already an extraordinary sex-life. The key word in that last sentence is "OUR." Everything we do is with the full knowledge, approval, and participation of one another. We don't mind some texting, teasing, flirting with playmates. We've found that a little of that here and there is fun, but we both know about it and keep each other informed. I don't need or want to know what every text says...but a casual, "I got a couple texts from "?" today. He/she is feeling a little frisky." keeps the communication within our own marriage open and alive. Mrs MC will occasionally send a naughty text to one or both of a couple we've played with just to let them know she's having some good thoughts about them, and I'll do the same (well...mine are limited to just the girls...). Nothing REALLY graphic...just enough to get the imagination going, or to plant a seed for next time. Again though, this is all done with the knowledge that we trust each other completely, and believe fully that neither of us would cross the line of deceit.

Is there a danger that the flirtations could go further? We don't really believe so because we don't NEED to do anything behind the other's back; we are allowed and ENCOURAGED to do it IN FULL VIEW. The key is that we keep each other informed, and enjoy the interchange. Additionally, If we ever got the feel that one of our playmates was not communicating with the full knowledge of THEIR partner, we would inform them that their attentions were no longer welcome. We have absolutely zero tolerance for anyone else's drama.

Your wife crossed a very big line...a line that most of us here see as a solid boundary. We're able to have erotic experiences with others within the bounds of our own relationships because we aren't sneaking...we're sharing our partners willingly. When it's no longer sharing, it's CHEATING. Cheating is something that few of us here have any tolerance for. Certainly, none of us that want to keep our marriages/relationships intact would be a party to it. Deceitful acts are like cockroaches; for every cockroach you SEE there are many, many more behind the walls.

You may have talked it out, and be okay...but it's never really gone. That's not something any of us want to feel.

Richmond VA
 
 
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it depends on how comfortable you two are ... I know rules are set in place to make all parties safe but we've found that rules get broken and then we discuss those ... Women enjoy the sexy chat , especially with new toy it happens ... She hid it from you since she knew the rules and she didn't want to get caught ... my wife had a boy toy talking sexy with her and they started doing things when i wasn't around I walked on her with his cock having been freshly buried in her ass ... yes it was a shock , ( i probably should've seen it coming ) but we talked it out and we were fine and still together and still swinging ... occasionally she even lets me get with another woman

Tucson AZ
 
 
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Ha....... I dedicate that tagging of fresh meat in the memory of NaN...... where ever he is out there is real time world.

Burlingham NY
 
 
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As I said, I'm open to suggestions. However, I am kind of a rule-follower and get nervous in situations where getting caught is a possibility... Now, the pics I have waiting for approval tell a different story!

Cincinnati OH
 
 
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Well, I was referring to the public flirting but I'm open to suggestions....

Cincinnati OH
 
 
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Oh my...

Augusta NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: Wife chatting with the other guy after the playtime