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Why So Few Nice Single Men : Swingers Discussion 21527710125
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TOPIC: Why So Few Nice Single Men
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i'm not even going to go into the details of what i would do if some dood squirted on myself, my wife, or a playmate. i'm just going to say that when he is released from the ICU, his bail amount better damn well be more than mine.

i've said it before but it's relevant here. we have been very fortunate to have never really had a "bad" experience with a single male. that's not to say that every experience has actually been a "good" one either. as for parties, there have been times when i have had to ask a few guys to mind their manners, but even in those cases we've never had a guy who didn't honor the request. we did have a sf who got rather pissy, but hey, better pissed off than pissed on, right? well, unless you're into that whole squirting thing.

jw, if you're into squirting, would you actually rather be pissed on than pissed off?

Port Canaveral FL
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We didn't quite see what was described below but close. One time at a party I was having sex with some girl (I know sounds sweet right?) and this guy just walks up and tries to stick his dick in her mouth. Ignoring it wasn't good enough - she had to literally push him away.

WTF makes people think that kind of shit is OK?

Winter Garden FL
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I don't have much experience but it does seem really messed up that when you are single and LUCKY enough to be there so you should be on your Best Behavior!

Charlotte NC
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I'll admit we haven't been to that many parties but I've yet to see someone walk up and shoot a load on a couple as described below. If that ever happens to me and a lady I'm with (my wife or not) I would end up doing time and it would be his last act in life. I'll tell you after seeing some of the things that have happened to other people here I'm not going to complain about the occasional no show again.

Lexington KY
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"Va, I mean this constructively, you are being your own worst enemy. If you vilify single men in your mind then you give away your power to stand on your own feet as a man. You identify your worth with that of your relationship. What happens in the vacuum of that relationship? You already said how you fear others will judge you as single. That is a very thin veil separating your masculinity from utter demise. There is not enough women in the world or conquests to be had that have the power to validate a man. Be part of the solution. Choose not to participate in erroneous thinking. A genuine man is content in any role, and is not reduced for lack of perceived validation of a lover. Even mrs va will appreciate the new you if you absorb this... "

allgoodnames,

Are trying to use The Force on vabeach?

Hilliard OH
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@BT. There’s no doubt, you’re one of the good ones. LOL. I just get tired of this “Woe is me. There’s just as many a-hole couples as SMs” mentality. Yes, there are plenty of those couples. We’ve dealt with them too. You know, the guy that wants to cheat on his wife, and hence everything must be handled with “CIA type” discretion… even though the profile says they “ONLY play together,” he assures you he can play alone… It’s just that you can’t IM him at home, you must only text via his work phone, and he can only play M-F during lunch hours or during the occasional Happy Hour… and then even goes so far as to ‘back out’ of any party they are signed up to attend within 24-48 hours of you also signing up… Yet, that is not even CLOSE to being in the same ballpark as a guy that upon seeing your profile, unilaterally decides to drive 3.5 hours on his day-off to your hometown on a Tuesday, and then proceeds to spend the day sending progressively more aggressive and harassing emails about HER having wasted his time and blowing him off for not showing up to meet him... These other SM guys need to think about that for a minute… we get up, go to work, come home, put the little one to bed, log on and have 6 emails from a SM talking about how it’s his day off and how he’ll take a trek down just to see how long the drive is… that then progresses into he’s here at a coffee shop if she wants to stop by… into he’s still here, where is she?... into she’s a complete ‘bitch’ for wasting his time and gas money on a trip down… from a SM we had NEVER had contact with before his first e-mail that morning!!!! We’ve chatted, emailed, met, talked and played with multiple SMs on here, so we are definitely not anti-SM. All the guys we’ve interacted with have had their stories about disrespectful, rude and disingenuous “couples.” Don’t get me wrong, that’s not acceptable either. But feeling disrespected and feeling legitimately unsafe are two completely different scenarios!! None of the SMs we talked to have ever indicated that they consistently feel unsafe, or randomly feel threatened simply showing up to an event, or more basically, just having a profile at all…. That is a MAJOR difference that shouldn’t be just casually dismissed!!! And it’s not just us… at that Singles friendly party I mentioned before, there were several quality SMs that we communicate with that attended. However, most won’t be attending another of those events… to quote one of the SMs that attended the event “Too many THUGS there and I didn't want to be associated with them or anything… I just can't get with disrespecting a woman like that even if it's about a fantasy/swinging. You can fulfill your and her fantasy and still be tasteful and respectful… I just left because it was like a scene out of and (sic) How Animals attack movie. Not my cup of tea.” And that was a SM’s perspective on how his brethren behaved, not ours…

Ellington CT
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Ever the optimist, the silver lining in this is that if your numbers hold water BlueBuzzy, there are only 25% of us out there, trying to do the right thing. To me, this business of reprehensibe beavior is a double-edged sword. While I dispise the fact that others won't grow up and act more mature than their knuckle dragging ancestors and I find notes like yours below embarrassing to all SM, I'll admit, at 25%, I like the odds.

Looking on the bright side, when couples like yourselves do find a quality SM, I'll bet its cause for a temporary celebration. I enjoy being the third wheel in those scenarios.

BT

New Orleans LA
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@Yondude and @Letstryst… What I think you fail to recognize is the degree and manor in which SMs have become tainted. Let me ask you a question. How many times have you gone to an event, club, etc. and been stalked by a MF/SF? I mean seriously stalked? Read the various posts here on SLS. The GENERAL assumption is that if you attend a club/event with SMs, expect bad behavior (unwanted touching, strangers blowing their loads on you while engaged, etc.) How many times have you been to an event and while you’re going at it, a random SF/MF masturbates until she squirts on you out of the blue? Yet if you read the post across the platforms you will see, if there are SMs in attendance at a club/event, the general consensus is that one should ‘expect’ that type of behavior. I get it, that’s not how you operate. But, you’re the exception. Accept it! Attend one event with SMs welcome and don’t try to get lucky, but rather just observe your SM compatriots. I think you’d be appalled. Probably about 25% of SMs on SLS (and other like sites) are flakes, 25% are cheaters, 25% are solid guys and 25% have no social interaction beyond Minecraft, the weekly dungeon raid on World of Warcraft and an occasional SLS email/chat. And it can be bad… and I mean REALLY bad. The wife and I were at a singles welcome party recently… LOOKING for a SM to rock her world! Yet, she was ready to leave after less than an hour. There were these two guys that every 10 minutes or so would come over and just leer at her for 2-3 minutes… they didn’t smile, didn’t laugh, didn’t talk, didn’t acknowledge us at all other than to just stare at her… and we were in literally on a couch in a corner of the room, so there wasn’t anything else they could have been looking at. When we left, one of them even followed us out of the party. Walking through the lobby, we stopped at the front desk and I turned to the guy and politely asked “Can I help you?” He got a look of terror and literally sprinted back into the party. We have played with SMs and will continue to do so, so I understand that there are good ones. But, what you both seem to either be ignorant of, or chose to ignore, is just how downright SCARY a significant number of SMs actually are! Many people (both couples and SF) simply choose to NOT expose themselves to these folks, and if you look at it objectively, I think that you’d see that while it may make your plight more difficult, there is nothing wrong with people choosing to play it safe.

Ellington CT
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I apologize for taking this so far off track. There has just been a lot in this respect to bellyache about lately.

Jerks are jerks. Male, female, couple, what have you.

Winter Garden FL
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I think we agree that it is very lopsided - women have to be outright violent or generating multiple complaints before throwing them out is even considered.

A single female was talking to me at a party once and Mrs VA walked up and put her hand on my shoulder. The bitch smacked Mrs VA's hand and told her "shoo". The Mrs was so astonished she just stomped away. I never in my life got so close to smacking a woman, but we all know what the outcome would have been if I did.

As it turns out, our complaint about her to the host was not the first of this type, or the last. She continued to be invited to events in spite of her caught with drugs, starting fights, it being found out she was a married cheater and basically being the worst kind of attendee one can conceive of.

Winter Garden FL
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TOPIC: Why So Few Nice Single Men