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Why So Few Nice Single Men : Swingers Discussion 21527710121
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TOPIC: Why So Few Nice Single Men
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@ Allthegood, in a perfect world every problem would have a solution. we however, live in this world where some problems must be lived with rather than solved.

i have no concern with you personally other than the fact that you are already name calling people on your first day of school. we generally don't expect to see that until at least your second day of school. i will say this, and i may be completely off, and if so others will certainly let me know, but the wording of your profile and the tone of your profile don't seem to be sending the same message. maybe it's just me.

Port Canaveral FL
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Be part of the problem, or part of the solution, men in large part are to blame for the discrepancies. We'll throw one of our own under the bus if we think it will elevate our status, especially if a woman is present, just as bad are other men too fearful of being judged by their peers to stand up for his fellow man if he sees him being treated unfairly. When did our culture become so anti male? Life will be what you allow or cause it to be. I voted with my dollars when I chose to create an account here instead of going to a club with discrimanotry policies. If you want quality men or women, simply demand it of your venue, and accept nothing less. Create an environment that invites the kinds of people you want.

What kind of environment is you club creating? Is your club serving your needs by prostituting your wife or gf? Or is it making money by charging her a "discounted" rate and bilking desparate men for a cover fee to come see her? If the lifestyle is becoming more mainstream then venues will have to start catering to mainstream, and stop treating it like dark and dirty back room stuff...or keep doing things the same old way but wonder why the results are the same.

Harrisburg PA
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I'm done typing in this thread. In the spirit of being judged by deeds not words, my next move is going to be a trip to CT. Not tomorrow or next week, but one day soon.

BlueBuzzy, I'll write first, giving you ample time to respond, and will arrive without expectations. As I understand it, there's a SM-friendly group that operates in the Windsor Locks area, too.

Carry on, oh noble SMs, SFs, and Couples!

BT

New Orleans LA
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While I have heard plenty of the horror stories from many couples, I still find that type of behavior appealing. Yes I am well aware that there are a ton of SM's that act like big dumb dogs or even worse. So I do very much recognize the degree in which SM's have become tainted. I very much acknowledge the fact that there are a ton of married men sneaking around, flakes who never show and even more that lack so much as the basic social skills. This also applies to SF as well as couples. Yes of course I do realize the big dumb dogs outnumber the others. As far as attending clubs. There are a few clubs in my area and no I do not attend as a SM due to many of the reason already stated below. I do not want to go some place I am not welcomed. I have attended several house parties, some in which any such actions would result someone being ejected from the party. I have also been to some where I have experienced that type of behavior from couples and yes it was uncomfortable to say the least. I do not waste my time with the woes me crap. Life is to short and I enjoy it way to much. So for now I attend simple meet and greet functions at public venues and basically treat people the way I wish to be treated. I find it far more easier to meet couples at a few of the local beach resorts then actually meeting them online so I rarely message anyone on here. From my perspective as the elusive single male, most of the dumb dogs at these parties, clubs and events are not really in the lifestyle. Most are there simply thinking they can get laid or their GF or wife is out of town and their screwing around! Do I think these dumb dogs hurt my plight! Absolutely not! While I am aware that they may completely turn some couples way from SM's I find that just simply being myself, having a sense of humor and social skills seems to work well for me. It will always amaze and shock me that someone would put thier hands on someone in such a manner without knowing it is welcomed. Yes I know it happens, but I don't want to ever want to become so desensitized that, that type of behavior doesn't shock me.

The elusive single male! Lol

Largo FL
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i'm not even going to go into the details of what i would do if some dood squirted on myself, my wife, or a playmate. i'm just going to say that when he is released from the ICU, his bail amount better damn well be more than mine.

i've said it before but it's relevant here. we have been very fortunate to have never really had a "bad" experience with a single male. that's not to say that every experience has actually been a "good" one either. as for parties, there have been times when i have had to ask a few guys to mind their manners, but even in those cases we've never had a guy who didn't honor the request. we did have a sf who got rather pissy, but hey, better pissed off than pissed on, right? well, unless you're into that whole squirting thing.

jw, if you're into squirting, would you actually rather be pissed on than pissed off?

Port Canaveral FL
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We didn't quite see what was described below but close. One time at a party I was having sex with some girl (I know sounds sweet right?) and this guy just walks up and tries to stick his dick in her mouth. Ignoring it wasn't good enough - she had to literally push him away.

WTF makes people think that kind of shit is OK?

Dallas TX
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I don't have much experience but it does seem really messed up that when you are single and LUCKY enough to be there so you should be on your Best Behavior!

Charlotte NC
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I'll admit we haven't been to that many parties but I've yet to see someone walk up and shoot a load on a couple as described below. If that ever happens to me and a lady I'm with (my wife or not) I would end up doing time and it would be his last act in life. I'll tell you after seeing some of the things that have happened to other people here I'm not going to complain about the occasional no show again.

Lexington KY
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"Va, I mean this constructively, you are being your own worst enemy. If you vilify single men in your mind then you give away your power to stand on your own feet as a man. You identify your worth with that of your relationship. What happens in the vacuum of that relationship? You already said how you fear others will judge you as single. That is a very thin veil separating your masculinity from utter demise. There is not enough women in the world or conquests to be had that have the power to validate a man. Be part of the solution. Choose not to participate in erroneous thinking. A genuine man is content in any role, and is not reduced for lack of perceived validation of a lover. Even mrs va will appreciate the new you if you absorb this... "

allgoodnames,

Are trying to use The Force on vabeach?

Hilliard OH
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@BT. There’s no doubt, you’re one of the good ones. LOL. I just get tired of this “Woe is me. There’s just as many a-hole couples as SMs” mentality. Yes, there are plenty of those couples. We’ve dealt with them too. You know, the guy that wants to cheat on his wife, and hence everything must be handled with “CIA type” discretion… even though the profile says they “ONLY play together,” he assures you he can play alone… It’s just that you can’t IM him at home, you must only text via his work phone, and he can only play M-F during lunch hours or during the occasional Happy Hour… and then even goes so far as to ‘back out’ of any party they are signed up to attend within 24-48 hours of you also signing up… Yet, that is not even CLOSE to being in the same ballpark as a guy that upon seeing your profile, unilaterally decides to drive 3.5 hours on his day-off to your hometown on a Tuesday, and then proceeds to spend the day sending progressively more aggressive and harassing emails about HER having wasted his time and blowing him off for not showing up to meet him... These other SM guys need to think about that for a minute… we get up, go to work, come home, put the little one to bed, log on and have 6 emails from a SM talking about how it’s his day off and how he’ll take a trek down just to see how long the drive is… that then progresses into he’s here at a coffee shop if she wants to stop by… into he’s still here, where is she?... into she’s a complete ‘bitch’ for wasting his time and gas money on a trip down… from a SM we had NEVER had contact with before his first e-mail that morning!!!! We’ve chatted, emailed, met, talked and played with multiple SMs on here, so we are definitely not anti-SM. All the guys we’ve interacted with have had their stories about disrespectful, rude and disingenuous “couples.” Don’t get me wrong, that’s not acceptable either. But feeling disrespected and feeling legitimately unsafe are two completely different scenarios!! None of the SMs we talked to have ever indicated that they consistently feel unsafe, or randomly feel threatened simply showing up to an event, or more basically, just having a profile at all…. That is a MAJOR difference that shouldn’t be just casually dismissed!!! And it’s not just us… at that Singles friendly party I mentioned before, there were several quality SMs that we communicate with that attended. However, most won’t be attending another of those events… to quote one of the SMs that attended the event “Too many THUGS there and I didn't want to be associated with them or anything… I just can't get with disrespecting a woman like that even if it's about a fantasy/swinging. You can fulfill your and her fantasy and still be tasteful and respectful… I just left because it was like a scene out of and (sic) How Animals attack movie. Not my cup of tea.” And that was a SM’s perspective on how his brethren behaved, not ours…

Ellington CT
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TOPIC: Why So Few Nice Single Men