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Who pays for room : Swingers Discussion 20524710135
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TOPIC: Who pays for room
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"You justify the male paying because hubby very gets little out of the "deal" but have no problem paying for the woman, even if the wife gets little out of it."

What I said is, "If it were a single female playing with a couple, I can only assume MOST OF YOU would expect the couple to pay, regardless if the wife is playing with the SF or not. FROM WHAT I READ HERE, COUPLES feel perfectly content paying for everything in this case and no one seemed to think that was a problem and the single female was never equated to a prostitute"

So actually, I never said what "I" would do in this situation, I was assuming what people here would do or expect.

"That is a double standard"

I wouldn't call what I said contradictory, but a double standard, hell yeah. I actually agree with you 100%, lol. Life is full of double standards and I am not one of those people who complain about them. Life isn't fair, as they say. At the end of the day, if we were to meet a single male, we would initially offer to pay or split the costs. We personally would NOT automatically expect the SM to pay. I just understand where those people who feel that way are coming from. And yes, for a single female, we would offer to pay and would not expect her to chip in.

Back to what you said about the wife getting little out of it, I wanted to add, you did bring up a good point that I never really considered... a FMF with a straight female. We don't play that way so it never really entered my thought process - if we play with a SF, she is playing with both of us or neither of us are playing.

Hampton VA
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I find people who expect others to pay for anything as moochers and cheap!

Allenhurst NJ
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"... I always envision is that all the hubby is getting out of the situation is being with his own wife and knowing his wife is having a good time."

"...If it were a single female playing with a couple, I can only assume most of you would expect the couple to pay, regardless if the wife is playing with the SF or not."

You justify the male paying because hubby very gets little out of the "deal" but have no problem paying for the woman, even if the wife gets little out of it. That is a double standard but like I said, you are probably in the majority.

No worries and I've never had this issue arise as I usually host in my home.

Poland OH
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Hey Nic, if you should find the time or desire, if you would point out where my contradictions are, I'd be happy to clarify.

Hampton VA
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We have always paid for the room, unless the guy is visiting San Diego and already has a room

Santee CA
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Fancy - We think it's about who does the inviting. Whether it's a single guy or single lady. We'd normally expect the inviter to pay (or at least offer). Single girls might get "preferential" treatment due to the demand for their time & the relative lack of them vs. single men (the whole supply & demand thing LOL) and never be expected to pay. We usually do the inviting so we usually pay. If a single lady invited us we'd expect she'd pay but we'd of course offer :-) We don't think anyone involved is a "prostitute" based on who pays for the room. From our point of view prostitution requires a commercial intent and that's not what this is all about.

Westerly RI
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There is no wrong way Fancy, I say go with whatever works for the people involved.

I will point out, your post is very contradictory but your opinion is one that is shared by many.

Poland OH
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After reading this thread, I am glad we don't play with single men. I had no idea it could be so complicated!

I know I am probably in a minority here, and remember I have ZERO experience with MFM, I guess I am just picturing the woman and the single guys are both getting some "extra" out of it but the hubby is playing only with his own wife, which is great but he can do that anytime without the inconvenience of having to figure out who pays for what. I am not a man, I have never done MFM, and I have no experienced perspective on this, but what I always envision is that all the hubby is getting out of the situation is being with his own wife and knowing his wife is having a good time. Which, like I said, is good and great but for the life of me I don't see how this situation is vastly different from a single man and a single woman meeting up if the two of them are the only ones who are playing with someone other than a spouse. If the single man is playing only with the wife, I see no problem expecting the single guy to pay. I know this is an odd point of view most people don't consider, esp those who enjoy MFM. It's all a matter of perspective.

If it were a single female playing with a couple, I can only assume most of you would expect the couple to pay, regardless if the wife is playing with the SF or not. From what I read here, couples feel perfectly content paying for everything in this case and no one seemed to think that was a problem and the single female was never equated to a prostitute (unless I missed something, which is possible). So I have a question. How do you feel about a couple expecting the costs of a hotel/drinks to be split with a single female? Would you prefer a 50/50 split or would you automatically expect to pay because she is a single female? Would anyone expect her to pay for everything?

Hampton VA
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I think it all depends on who does the inviting. If we have to get a hotel and invite a guy, we pay, obviously. If we invite a couple, we pay. If you develop a relationship and always have to get a hotel, I supposed you could alternate. I guess it's the same with drinks, dinner, etc. Who whips out their card faster. Or go dutch.

Ms. SoNot

Washington DC
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I have and have no problem doing so, but this is after we have met and come to the conclusion we want a night of sex.

Decatur IL
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TOPIC: Who pays for room