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TOPIC: When_3somes_go_wrong.
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Thanks everybody for yourinput. Alot of great points made by everybody.Im just gonna scrap the fastasy all togather,Justnot worth all the headache anymore..

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Uh-oh! This sounds like a train wreck to me. We've had some close calls, ourselves. A couple years ago we invited a vanilla single guy into our lives, and I encouraged Ms. TWH to play with him alone. He got totally confused, and assumed it meant she was up for grabs. He's a pretty intelligent guy, very active in his community, and does well professionally. So after a bit of frank communication, he understood that there's another world out there that doesn't follow the common rules of mainstream monogamy. We were able to salvage the friendship, we still all get along great, and he gets an occasional playdate with her.

Ms. TWH is a major flirt, and often she gets that "If you were mine, I wouldn't share you with nobody" response. Luckily for me, that just turns her off. We actually don't have any rules; our philosophy is that we know each other well enough to know what each other's comfort zone is. And we don't go beyond that. She's really not ready for me to go off and play alone, so I respect that and don't pursue it. She's gotten concerned in the past when single ladies have expressed an interest in me and have given her reason to believe they're not willing to play fair. Even if I've felt she was being paranoid, I've agreed to back away, simply out of respect for the most important person in my life.

I truly hope it isn't too late for you, but the communication has to start ASAP.

Seneca PA
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"why does your husban give you away, if you were with me I would never give you up" ??? Or another statment claiming he's not comfortable with another man with her. WTF ?

*************

Your fantasy might be MFM for both you and your wife, but it seems thatthe SM's goal is to find a girlfriend.Youshould probablyhave a conversation with your wifeabout your expectations and ensure that both of youare on the same page.

Personally, I think theSM was inappropriate inmaking those statements to your wife, **especially the one about "his"discomfort withher being with another male** Does that mean he is uncomfortable with her fucking her own husband?

BT is right about yourwifenot being blame-free either, if she continued to see him after he made those statementsand did not correct his impressions abouthis placeas a 3rd in your relationship.

Mrs. Uriah

Memphis TN
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The title of this thread should be "When wives decide to take a boyfriend and don't care about their husband anymore."

Windermere FL
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before my wife and i got into this,we sat down and set some CLEAR AND DEFINED RULES.

we decided to bring a 3rd into our bedroom.in order to do this we BOTH have to be comfortable with the 3rd.We got to the club together and surf the site together.again its for both of us,not just me or her.So why wouldnt you have been involved in all the meetings?

myself i need to know how we are all gonna interact together.

dont get me wrong im not judging here.I dont know everything and am new to the scene.just kind of confused as to why it got moved from 3 to 2.

Carson City NV
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I totally 100% agree with what BT said. It seems the walls of fantasy and reality are getting abit shaken up going by what you say. The fact that your wife continues to text and see this guy while knowing you're starting to feel uncomfortable with all of this is a major red flag.

Toms River NJ
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I would sit and have a talk real quick...I agree to a major party foul...There should ALWAYS be agreement as to when, where you meet

Kingsport TN
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Major SM party foul. Actually, major SM douche move, but the same could be said foryour wife. I'm sorry if that sound harsh, but in my eyes, its the truth. Rules need,or in this case, needed to be set well in advance and followed. It sounds like there was a communication failure somewhere along the line. Either between you and your wife, or between the two of you and her male friend.

Fantasy and reality are only supposed to meet on the physical side, never on the emotional side. That doesn't mean that as a SM I can't be friends and can't care deeply for the couples with whom I play, but at the end of the day, I'm not a part of, or a replacement for,any part of their relationship.

I'll leave it to the fora couples representatives to offer their advise on what you should do now, but obviously, trust has been broken-compromised or you wouldn't feel (rightfully,in my mind) jealous.

I'm very sorry that this happened and hope you can get things back on track.

New Orleans LA
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Its normal if the couple is not on the same page or if the communication is lacking. Sure sounds like you have your hands full with issues IMO

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Long story short wife and I poundered a (MFM) fantasy for a few years now. Finallywe set upa meetsomeone from thiswho seemed to be down to earth. SoIdiscussed with him what we were looking for, which was the occasional 3rd in the bedroom, and ifhim and the Wifehit it off = Perfect. Well my wife has seen him about10 times this month they havesex most of the time, thencoffee movies ect. And its always a tap dance of excuse why we all cant meet up. Although my Wife told me he said something very intresting to her like, "why does your husban give you away, if you were with me I would never give you up" ??? Or another statment claiming he's not comfortable with another man with her. WTF ?Now I have problem with these statements.Since we already talked about what our intentions were before they even met. Worst part is now they text each other morning noon and nite.And now I have turned into this thing that I hatemost in people Jealous. Is that normal in this lifestyle ??

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TOPIC: When 3somes go wrong.
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