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TOPIC: What_is_up_with_single_guys!!
Created by: TandEinAZ
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hey everyone, I need to do a little bit of a newbie rant, but I’m really looking for advice from you folks… especially those who have been in the lifestyle for a while.

Wow, so what is up with single guys? We are brand new to the lifestyle and were hoping to ease into things with a FF (with SO’s present) or FFM. We were contacted by a younger guy (mid 20’s) who prefers mature women and has a nice profile. We were going to say “no thanks” but my wife thought he was cute, so we decided to see where this guy is coming from. He has always been very pleasant and respectful but didn’t seem to put much effort into his emails… kind of answered direct questions but can’t seem to do anything with open ended questions or freely offer information about himself so we can get to know him. We’re not sure what to make of it because he kind of comes across as either guarded (which I can understand to a point), perhaps a bit aloof, or he really doesn’t care if we ever meet. I’m a pretty straight-forward guy so I even wrote a fairly lengthy email to him to give him my perspective on things so far, gave him a good idea of how to SEDUCE my wonderful wife, and encouraged him to put some real effort into his emails. I really tried to not sound pushy and just state the facts as we see them, because we both felt the kid needed a little help with the seduction part. We most definitely are not trying to play games but we need to get a good idea if this guy is the right one for us. He has said a couple of times he’s not pushy, and that is good… we’ve already learned how persistent some single males can be! However, there is a big difference between pushy and contributing to a conversation that allows a woman to get to know a possible future sex partner. Sheesh, is that too much to ask? It’s almost as if he has plenty of women throwing themselves at him, so he couldn’t care less about my wife. Lets face it… a woman in a MFM wants to be the center of attention and we both feel that begins WAY before we ever get to the bedroom! She has to feel that the guys REALLY want her… and are focused on HER!

We aren’t Ken and Barbie, but we certainly aren’t repulsive either! LOL! I don’t get it. My wife was very seriously considering a MFM with him, but he seems to act like she’s not worth the effort. The last email she wrote to him, she was very tired (it’s been a long and busy week) and wanted to go to sleep but she wanted to keep the conversation moving forward. After she wrote him, she told me how aroused she was and her pussy was very wet. Once she told me that, I knew she is ready to meet this guy and if the chemistry was right, she would definitely do him. However, his response back answered a direct question but didn’t really offer anything new. Does he even remember that long email I wrote? I handed him plenty of info to work with! We most definitely are NOT looking at putting notches on the bed post, but my wife has to feel a connection with another person before she jumps in the sack with them!

I tell you what, when I was young and single I put everything I had into getting to know women and trying to seduce them. I think I was pretty typical… put in a LOT of time and effort and did okay, but never had any where near the success I had wanted! LOL!! We’re on the verge of telling him “no thanks” and moving on. We’re also seriously considering doing the “NO SINGLE MEN” thing like so many other couples do.

As we’ve read many times, this is a numbers game. I realize this guy doesn’t know if we are real or not (we most certainly are!!!) but he has a great opportunity to be the first guy my wife has been with (besides me, of course) in the last 20 years.

Maybe we’re just stupid newbie’s and don’t understand how these things go. We don’t want to make a faux pas and miss out on a guy my wife likes, but we don’t want to make a mistake either. I don’t know… are our expectations too high?

T

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And the opposite for us. In the beginning we were anti single guy. But thanks to one club experience we learned that they were not all that bad (those guys weren't) they were respectable, nice and not pushy. Some of the SM in the forums that I have interacted have lived up to that but we still get tons of messages and IM from some real characters.

Little Egg Harbor NJ
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Same here. A few rotten eggs have really soured us toward most SM's, but we wish them no ill will. Just isn't for us anymore.

No worries. It isn't as though they will miss us. LOL.

Cocoa Beach FL
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"In our opinion, the best chance you have at a meeting whether with a single or a couple, is when both sides accept the responsibility to do what they can to determine whether or not this is a good match. "

Smooth: Yes, I do agree with your analogy. This would be the reason we vet heavily to our preferences before deciding on meeting. When they do show (lol), the majority, not all, of our meets are VERY successful, albeit meets being far and few between.

BT: I get carried away sometimes; no harm, no foul. :-)

~Allen

Charles Town WV
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Heads up Hotwife, I see an invitation for a tour of the Big Easy in your future.

Cocoa Beach FL
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My wife and I ONLY play with single men, its our kink. We've had success by being up front about exactly what we're looking for. We meet them for a coffee or cocktail with the understanding that just because we meet, doesn't necessarily mean we're going to play. We often schedule the meeting knowing that we have to be somewhere else an hour or two after our scheduled meet up. Letting them know we have plans for later takes the pressure off everyone involved. It also helps us make the decision based on attraction and interest rather than because we're uncomfortable saying "no." One of our best times was with a guy who responded to our ad by just saying "we should chat." Turns out the guy was just shy and inexperienced but that was a turn for my wife. It was a great MFM and we have plans to meet again when schedules fit. Meeting with someone doesn't have to be a commitment for sex. We've met quite a few for a drink that we never ended up playing with, but also met for a drink and there was immediate attraction so straight back to our place we went.

Austin TX
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I hate it when that happens. ;^(

Those damn afterthoughts are hell. I know, it happens to me constantly: "...I thought after I wrote. "

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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Sorry tramp...I had to make a revision...

BT

Los Angeles CA
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Good thread here! Just the right amount of common sense posting (Read: Load & WKndFun), a bit of an over abundance of snark (...your wife looks Mahvelous, and you KNOW who you are), and a nice cross-section of the LS community coming out in support of the SM... Yep, good stuff.

I do have to say though, that comment about people hijacking threads had me a little worried that you might be talking about me...until you brought up the always being right/know it all thing. ...I'm never that. My hijackAss_Hattery is all about lowbrow humor and hijinks. I'm rarely if ever right, and don't know shit from shinola...

...and NJ, regarding your last post, I'm sure there's a point in there somewhere...

What??....Are you waiting around for me to share mine? I won't. I won't even paraphrase yours, calling it my own... Nope. Won't do it.

That said, please, carry on y'all.

BT

Just wondering...when someone starts a sentence with "Hay!", is that the final straw??

Los Angeles CA
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All I can say is, "anyone got a sardine taco?" I'm tired of popcorn.

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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"In our opinion, the best chance you have at a meeting whether with a single or a couple, is when both sides accept the responsibility to do what they can to determine whether or not this is a good match."

~word~

don't assume anything. ask, and act accordingly based on the response(s).

and while there may be some generally accepted "basic" guidelines, the only "absolutes" as far as i'm concerned are: no means no, and, treat everyone with respect & consideration.

everything else is people's preferences.

Bridgewater NJ
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TOPIC: What is up with single guys!!
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