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What do you recommend for first time experience : Swingers Discussion 36680
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TOPIC: What do you recommend for first time experience
Created by: duepiudue The original post for this thread was deleted.
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VA, CnL, EandP,

Excellent advice all the way around. Kudos.

Lake Buena Vista FL
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MOst clubs on friday night allow single males to enter.As far as a bar they are GREAT to find single males or females.We do ont lok for single males, we have found a single male in a bar that we now have known for 6 years. If you just want a one night stand, they are plentiful in both bars and swing clubs.It depends on what you want as to how long you want to have a relationship to develope. Thats one of things that you are in total control of.

Sarasota FL
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Our first experience was great, but I'm not sure I'd say I recommend it for most people! We met a fun couple, hit it off, played hard right away, loved it!

I think Valovers had some wonderful words of wisdom. I'd like to chime in my 2 cents that it's really important to let people you contact know that you ARE just starting out and that you're really looking to meet people and find your comfort zone. We've met with people who aren't sure they're ready, and just talked about it together, and that's fine with us (we enjoy good company as much as good sex), but I've heard that there are those out there who will get pretty pissed off if they think they're meeting playmates and the "playmates" are newbies who aren't really sure yet.

Choose carefully when you're "testing the waters", and make sure whomever you meet up with knows where you stand in your readiness level. If you find a couple who are willing to chat and mentor you and spend time without any expectations of sexual rewards, treasure that! (And, PS, people writing "we have no expectations" in their profiles doesn't REALLY mean they have no expectations, if you know what I mean.)

Above all, TALK TALK TALK with each other, ALL the time- even when you think you know what you want and don't want, that'll change, trust me!

L.

Ithaca NY
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Awww, thanks Mary! It appears, though, that you managed to survive on your own! LOL

Happy Swinging,

Jim

South Riding VA
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VA.... I sure do wish we'd had a mentor like you when we started out ;)

Hugs to you both :) Mary

Hattiesburg MS
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The bar idea is probably the least productive way to find compatible playmates, at least if you hope to have more than a one night stand.

If you went to an on-premises swing club, you could almost certainly find a single male to join you for mfm, if that's what you really want to do. Just let HER do the choosing, perhaps with you having a right to veto some guy if for whatever reason you really don't like him. Then she can choose again. Single guys are plentiful.

You are more likely to find a compatible couple by searching this site within the desired age range and distance from you. Be honest with them that this is your first time, and you probably should meet them once just for drinks or dinner to get acquainted before arranging a play date at a later time, if you both think they are a couple that interests you after you've had a night to "sleep on it" and talk it over. For first-timers, we recommend selecting a couple that seems like people you would enjoy being friends with even if you weren't swinging. If you can find a couple like that, it's more likely that your first experience will be a good experience.

Just know in advance what BOTH of you want (and equally important, what you don't want) from the experience, and openly discuss with each other and agree upon any limits so that the situation doesn't go beyond your comfort level. As a rule of thumb, when considering couples to swap with, both of you should ask yourselves "Is this someone I would go out with if we were both single?" If the answer is no, decline and look for another couple.

If you decide on a couple, agree ahead of time whether you will use the same room or separate rooms, and if you use separate rooms whether you want to put a time limit on the time you're apart.

Finally, whatever you decide, don't violate the agreed-upon limits "in the heat of the moment." If you find the limits too restrictive, abide by them anyway and you can discuss adjusting those limits later when the two of you are alone.

Good luck!

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: What do you recommend for first time experience