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FORUMS General Discussions 3-Some What are couples truly looking for in a man for a threesome
TOPIC: What are couples truly looking for in a man for a threesome
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hey ,ll69 ,did you also get the bank account #? is just a MFM ,all the man wants is your wife Pusy not her love .

Somers NY
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(68 posts)
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Our 10 years of swinging has only been MFM, and it has worked out very well for us. Howevere, we have had to wade through a lot of guys to find 4 over that period of time. I would say that we have interviewed over 50 in our home just to find the good ones.

We like the idea of 1 steady sex partner at a time and find it worth the searching to find the right guy. Otherwise, for the same levels of sexual activity we probably would have had to be with 200 guys in stead of 4.

When we first filter out the obvious then we will invite a guy to our home for a no sex meeting. Then we make it a social evening that may last 2 or 3 hours. Sex tends to be the least part of the evening's conversation. It is really a "get to know and get comfortable with each other" meeting. On occasion there have been 2 to 3 meetings before that comfort level was established. The big thing here is that there needs to be a very apparent respect and rapport between the 3 of us.

We have had some basket cases who started out talking the talk, but degradated from there. One guy was almost in tears as he kept returniing the convresation to his ex wife during his visit; which we limited to less than an hour. Some others could'nt stop panting long enough to notice that I (the guy) was even in the room.

Anyway to make a drawn out story come to an end. My wife has had a lot of good third party fucking & sucking with guys that she was very fond of. I got the excitement of watching her get her brains fucked out to the point where she would actually ask our friend to cum in her mouth. There was just a lot of comfort, excitement, good sex with good friends. But, we had to be selective and work hard at find the right guys.

Dallas TX
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(14 posts)
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Hello, we had the pleasure (yeah right) of meeting two single males. One talked a great talk, great salesman, sold it to us hook, line, and sinker. Oh he could do wonders in the bedroom. Needless to say, on the second meeting, we went to his hotel room. First of all, when my husband turned his back to go into the bathroom, this little guy was on me like white on rice. Second, this man had erection problems, he made a lot of noise. Once he did get an erection, he was just going to put it in after we had already discussed that he WILL wear a condom. I told him to put one on. He whined to me that now he's going to have to get it hard all over again! He screwed like a rabbit...you know, rapid fire. Then came in 5 minutes!!!

The other single man did basically the same thing, except this time we didn't fall for it. We told him we didn't play on the first meeting, however, once we got done with eating and our drinks and we were leaving, he asked frantically if we wanted to play right then. After we said no that we could meet again, we never heard from him again.

Now, we been with a married man who plays alone (we have no problem with that). He's been with us for a while and we have no problem with him at all. He is very respectful and we've become friends with him.

I don't wish to give the single guys a bad rap, I'm sure there are decent ones out there. However, we won't be looking any more for them.

mrs. bt

Lancaster PA
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(544 posts)
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I am sorry about your experience and while I sympathize with your feelings I can't help thinking that it was condtioned at least in part by your choice of a "young" man. HIs experience base more than his personality is the likely reason for the awkward comment. It is true that some males may say such things out of arrogance but even then if they are bright experience should dictate it to be a poor strategy. I also understand the fantasy allure of the "young stud" profile but an wise couple should expect it to be a tradeoff.

For the rest of us, while willing couples are definnitely a scarce resource sex is not necessarily something we'd go into under any circumstances, and the protection as well as the need for everyone to have a good time at the encounter is more important than having an encounter itself. I have willingly shied away in the past when it seemed that one or more of those conditions were not going to be fulfilled.

Arlington VA
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I like theese folks, I am a single man, and I am successful, but loves to ride my Harley and I fly a plane as well and sometime a suit is my business attire. I am very nice looking and I too am seeking the top of the bunch that wants friendship, fun, adult life, style. I am not a game player, just wants the most out of life I can get, be friends, have fun, does not have to be all about sex, but yes a lot of sex when it is. Thanks for you classy, nice understanding floks and maybe those few bad apples will get what the desire. (bad apples are the singles that are greedy and rude, and does not honor discrete)

Columbus MS
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Physical attraction is a great part for me, but to actually "go there" he needs to get my attention in his profile. Personally I don't care for the dick shots at all. Nor the ones with just a pair of briefs on. Lewd poses also turn me off. As for the profile the best one I have read said this. I am not bi but I understand that male touching is inevitable, but this should be all about her and her needs. You as a couple need to let me know what your wishes are and your fantasies and I will do my best to help you fulfill them. Also saying something to the prospective male in your profile helps too. Such as "husbands, what does she like?" As the lady here, I understand that great looking guys are few and far between and know that a meeting has to take place. Personality can make the ugliest guy in the world very attractive to me.

Green Isle MN
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I'd like to jump in here for a second. I'm a 50 year old divorced male. My ex and I used to swing together for years. Mostly together with other couples and have had experiences with single females and single males. Our relationship together dwindled and we divorced. (nothing to do with swinging) we just didnt get along after a few years of marriage and decided to go our separate ways. Since then, I've been swinging on my own with mostly couples and have always had a great time. I consider myself the add on to their relationship. When I meet with the couple, we have a few drinks, chat, laugh etc and mostly, the husband half wants me and his female half to go into another room together and start without him so that he can later, walk in, view us, ten join. (must be a guy thing). I always respect the couples wishes however, I find when writing to couples on the sites, they are the most rudest people I have had the pleasure of NOT meeting. They either dont respond to me or they say they arent into meeting male however have single males in their ads. So I've given up responding to couples and just go to the sites to read. I'm bored at times. lol...

Waterloo NY
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I would say first of all if a man wants to share his woman with another male. Then they should look to see that the male will respect his wife at all times. Be clean, neat, honest and most of all not someone who will try to sneak behind the husbands back to see the wife. Now if the husband and the wife are OK with seeing the other male on the side then it should be up to them.

I have found and met 2 very nice couples. They are special friends to me as I am with them. Yes, there are a few pigs out there and they give us a bad image but, for the most part I think that there are some good men out there that would be great for 3-sums.

Brunswick GA
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YES, YES, YES!

That's it, that's what I was try to say. Dam, you're good. I bet more ways than one. ;-)

Weatherford TX
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JJF:

I've always liked your posts. Your default pic is very nice. You have a great butt.

I think chameleon may be a little strong. I use the word flexible. I am who I am. I don't change for any couple. But, I am very flexible in my range of behaviors.

I've found you never really know what is going on until you are there. I ignore the words. I look for behavior. I assume anything could happen from massage to intercourse. I watch the same sex partner for my main clues.

I don't enter a FMF with a goal behavior in mind. I've found that helps tremendously. I agree that it seems like so many criteria that your head will spin.

I only focus on respect, consideration, and relaxation. I allow the balance to pan out one way or another. In other words, I have no axe to grind. I honor my boundaries and work within them. I have fun. The balance just happens.

rare Mischief to pairs.

Glen Burnie MD
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TOPIC: What are couples truly looking for in a man for a threesome