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FORUMS General Discussions 3-Some What's wrong with these guys
TOPIC: What's wrong with these guys
Created by: wife4hotguys
Original Starting post for this thread:
We are very much into single males, but everyday I get messages from guys saying things like, "I am in DFW for the weekend and looking for some fun, let's meet." I look at their profile and it says couple! We get several of them per day! It gets really old. Are there really that many married men willing to cheat on their wives, or are they single males posing as couples? Either way, why do they think that they have a chance? They immediately discredit themselves. We are here for fun, not to break up marriages or to let a deceitful single male have an easy piece of ass. Sorry, just had to vent a little...lol

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Wife4, I agree- us good guys are VERY outnumbered. And for the record, I'd be happy to join you anytime. :)

I've been in the lifestyle for ten years and from day one I did nothing but just be myself- and that has proven by far the be the right approach.

Lawrenceville GA
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Ok. At first I wasn't going to say anything but I decided a comment from one of the supposed cheaters was in order.

For starters, there is no way for a guy to know what you went through having a child. But also, don't discount the males either since we had to endure changes as well. If you think the 3 AM 7-11 runs for pickles and ice cream wasn't a strain us us your wrong. The point of this is not to make any enemies or anything just to point out that there are always two sides to everything.

As far as the wife/partner not wanting to play or loosing interest it happens more than you think. After the birth of my first child my wife started to loose all desire to have sex. After the 2nd it practically dropped of the planet, her desire. Yes it isn't fair for the guy to have to beg and plead for some action, however neither is it fair for a lady to expect the man to be all honky-dory without any attention.

Also, please don't assume that all men don't know about taking care of kids. I have been a stay home father for most of my boys life and I love it. But as a famous comedian once said, "I have seen the bosses job; done the bosses job....and I don't want the bosses job." Kids are tough and that isn't secret.

I have a separate profile and one with my wife. Our reason is this. I have an interest in a few things she doesn't. So this allows us the opportunity to be ourselves and still respect each other. We have discussed solo playing but have done it as of yet. That is our decision.

Anyway..hope that all makes sense....LOL

Seminole OK
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--I have also seen the lady screwing around when her husband couldnt "perform". So.. if its wrong for him, its wrong for her too..

Yes it is.

--but I am sure a lady screwing around gets more sympothy then her husband would.

Only from hypocrites.

Columbia MD
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First, wife4hotguys.. I didnt mean to disgust you. I am sorry for that. Its just that to me, a man should not have to beg for sex from his wife. I guess my view of if it (if nobody knows it dont hurt) is wrong. I may have to re-think that position.

Ok.. I guess I ticked a few off. Since I hardly ever post here, I dont want to cause any problems. I am sorry that I believe that My friends wife is not absolutely right in the idea that she dont have to give her husband any sex at all (nearly)for the first 5 years of the childs life. The child (they have the one) is now like 8.. and just last year the wife said she would give him some a few times a month. I should have also said that he works a full time job, plus works his farm in his off hours..and know he helps around the house as well. So she had help from him, and he was just as tired as her.

I have also seen the lady screwing around when her husband couldnt "perform". So.. if its wrong for him, its wrong for her too.. but I am sure a lady screwing around gets more sympothy then her husband would. Maybe I am basing my opinion on the experiences of my friends and family members too much.

Yes, I agree.. its wrong to lie to your partner. And it creates mistrust. But no marriage is perfect. There may be mistrust other places as well.

But bottom line.. TO those I pissed off or disgusted I am sorry. Just forget I said anything at all.

Mill Hall PA
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--I figure if she dont know, nobody is getting hurt.

Darkangel, that's like saying that it's ok for him to steal from his company as long as nobody finds out.

If he's getting laid on the side and lying to her (implicitly or explicitly), he has shown that she can't trust him. And if she can't trust him, they don't have a marriage, they have two people living in the same house raising a kid.

Vallander, you said "Yes and what would you say if a woman with a high sex drive husband lost all interest in sex or became impotent."

I would say the same thing to her. If you think that marriage is just about sex, then you don't understand marriage at all. And if the marriage deteriorates to the point of divorce, a sudden infusion of good sex won't save it.

In both situations, one would hope that the other spouse is mature enough and understanding enough to openly allow his/her partner to find some outside relief.

I don't mean turn a blind eye to your spouse having an affair. I mean sit down, discuss it and come to an understanding that they can both be comfortable with.

Sadly, that probably doesn't happen often enough... but it's no excuse to lie to your partner.

Columbia MD
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Yes and what would you say if a woman with a high sex drive husband lost all interest in sex or became impotent. Should she get what she needs and rub it in his face.Should she get what she needs and be discreet.She could just break up her family for her sexual needs.Most women choose the 3rd reason its called divorce.No one should be narrow minded and judgemental just because their current situation is great Things could change for them.Many people are intolerant of people who divorce but develop understanding and toleration if they have one.

Lyndon KY
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Okay Darkangel... I gave you 5 minutes of my time and all you did is disgust me. You have just strengthened the whole point of this thread. If you think that it is okay for your friend to go behind his wife's back and have sex with other women (ie. if she doesn't know then no one is getting hurt) then you are the guy that I am talking about. Maybe I took your message out of context? Correct me if I am wrong.

Fort Worth TX
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Thanks for seeing my point. Yea.. there are guys here that are married, playing and not cheating. But, What about my buddy, whose wife lost ALL and I mean ALL interest in sex after the birth of their child? She wouldnt give up any for months at a time. I truely felt sorry for him. He finally talked it over with her, and now she lets him have sex with her about 2-3 times a month. Still with a guy with a sex drive like he has, (and she knew about it when they married, and kept up with him) for her to just stop or drop to what she thinks is fair to me is wrong as well. He loves her very much, and his child as well, and dont want to break up the marriage. I figure if she dont know, nobody is getting hurt. I think she may even suspect, and just dont want to know about it. My wife has said that to me before as well.. she dont mind if I go off on my own, but she dont want to know. I cant do that myself...so I wait.

All I am saying is this. Dont be so judgemental on a single guy, or a married guy that the wife is not interested. Give him 5 minutes of your time to find a little more about him. Then if your not interested, tell him. You wont be blamed, and your not contributing to any bad carma. Married men are more likely to keep their mouth shut. Not that singles are not discrete, but married guys will keep the secret because theres more involved. We rarely even talk to anyone under 25, as we have found only a handful of mature guys in their 20s that are looking for more then a quick easy fuck.

Mill Hall PA
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We know it is hard for single guys in this lifestyle. There are so many of them and so few couples looking for them. I would assume that it is even harder for a married man (who is legit when he says his wife lets him play). I know that we just don't play with them (married men), especially the travelers, because it is just too easy for a guy to lie about it. Now if a couple wants to meet up first so that we can meet the wife, then we would have no problem with that. I wonder how many times that would actually happen though. There is a lot of good guys that get a bad rep because of the liars, and we are beginning to think you good guys are out numbered. But we know ya'll are still out there, so we'll keep looking.

Fort Worth TX
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-What if she chooses to stop playing for awhile, but tells me its ok. Right away I am a cheater, because I want to continue? Thats not fair either. If she dont want to play, but says its ok for me to.. I am not cheating.

Honestly, if you think that is what is being said, then you're not reading the replies thoroughly. There are lots of couples where one partner occasionally plays without the other... As long as he/she is comfortable with the spouse going off to play, I wouldn't consider it cheating.

I think there are very few couples who would consider your situation cheating IF they could confirm that your wife knew and approved.

The main criticism I've seen on this thread are when people (usually guys, but females and couples) misrepresent themselves to get laid. A married guy on business travel looking for nookie... A single bi girl who wants to find fresh meat for the boyfriend or a single guy who thinks that occasionally having a play partner makes "them" a couple are all examples of the "what's wrong with" in the title.

Columbia MD
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TOPIC: What's wrong with these guys