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Mrs question for Women How hard is it really to find a woman for MFF : Swingers Discussion 21140210131
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FORUMSGeneral Discussions3-SomeMrs question for Women How hard is it really to find a woman for MFF
TOPIC: Mrs question for Women How hard is it really to find a woman for MFF
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Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare, he only eats Unicorn! LOL

Jacksonville FL
 
 
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HolllyMMM- We both appreciate your very honest view of the original question and subsequent responses. You are absolutely right, the frustration factor is distracting. We have been on other sites before SLS, and exploring the lifestyle for a while now. We have both posted to the forums to gain enlightenment and perspective to the way things have happened. We both follow the posts we have made and questions we have initiated, and it has created some very productive conversations. Your post was a "ah ha" moment here, coming from someone on the "other side" of the fence.

Mrs. Fun

Wisconsin Dells WI
 
 
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They call single bi women "unicorns" because they are hard to find and even harder to catch. For y'all to be so frustrated after just a few months on this site doesn't bode well for your capture rate. Honestly once I read your current profile, I doubt I'd be interested. Even with my profile listed as Straight, I hear from at least five couples a week. The content of both their profile and their email strongly influence my response.

I'm not interested in someone who is bitter, frustrated, or impatient. Im not interested in anyone who just wants to meet to fulfill their fantasy of a FMF. I'm not interested in being with a couple where the wife is doing this because the husband wants it. The notion that " his contention is I don't want it enough to MAKE it happen again, I'm not trying hard enough" is offensive to me and I wouldn't choose to be with a couple where that kind of dynamic is at play.

It doesn't matter to me whether the primary correspondence is from the husband or the wife because its the content and tone that influence my choice. I choose to meet couples who show genuine interest in who I am as a person and are looking to be my friend as well as lover. This can take time and I expect everyone to respect that fact.

Pittsburgh PA
 
 
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Mrs. Favorite, thank you for the input. I don't consider myself above average in any way. Mr Fun and myself are told often that I'm not like most women. I do not think of myself as better than anyone at alll. The majority of people we know are men, some married some not. Unfortunately, some of the wives and I don't have much in common and we don't hang out separately of our spouses. It's not that I avoid women or the chance at a girls night out. Because of the nature of my business (on call 24/7), we are around men 90% of the time and getting to just go out for an evening to the bar or whatever doesn't happen much. Mr Fun has noticed the women we know socially seem to be focused primarily on themselves. While that is fine, it's honestly very difficult for me to understand. I'm very social and can talk to anyone just about anywhere, but jumping from social conversation to "hey I wanna get to know you better 'wink' 'wink'" just doesn't seem to happen. I've offered for Mr. Fun and I to try to make one night a week where we make an effort to get out more just to be in a more social setting to possibly open more of an oppurtunity. If necessary, I can go out on my own but that's kinda boring, and more often than not leads to male offers not female.

Wisconsin Dells WI
 
 
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Well I'm glad I made SOMEbody's day..... even virtually.

I'm also glad that you are 100% in this quest for a bi female for a successful FMF, so many wives aren't. Not that it matters, only being honest with yourself and others and you seem to have that in the bag. I asked that question because in your post you mention that you think you're above average compared to other women, that you don't associate with women in social circles, that you avoid girls nights out. It sounds like you only enjoy the company of women in a sexual setting. Personally, I would think you were straight, had you not stated clearly that you're bi.

It seems to be a contentious issue between the two of you though, that there's "blame" to be laid on you for failure to accomplish an FMF with a woman who was as into you as you are into her. I hope that gets settled soon and you find what you're looking for.

Newark DE
 
 
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Mrs. Favorite, well congrats, you made Mr's day. Because his contention is I don't want it enough to MAKE it happen again, I'm not trying hard enough. He's already had the experience a few times. Even when I was "meh" about one of the bi-women we played with, and after the first time she made it obvious she was only really interested in him and we still played a couple times after that. Only with her, it mostly for his sake because it's something we both want but her interest was him, but it still happened. I am bi, not bi curious or only bi because he wants a 3some. I enjoy being with a woman and enjoying a woman with Mr. Fun so it's NOT that I'm just doing it for him, I trying to do it for US. Most every experince we've had whether 4some or 3some FMF, when we've met I've had to be the aggressor to "warm" the other bi-woman up or the first one to get naked. So it's not that I'm not in it. As it's been pointed out by others and Mr Fun, to set up a FMF it falls to the woman. Effort does not always equate success. We get SM offers almost daily (no effort). Even meeting a couple lately seems to be a struggle (unless we go to a party), almost all of them seem to be the man only with no sign of the woman whatsoever.

Wisconsin Dells WI
 
 
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Yup, it's hard.

At least here. There's a lot of single women. A lot of single, sane, discriminating, intelligent women that play with couples? With the key word being discriminating? HEH! Hardly none. Then again, we're not looking for single females so I've never searched them out and met any that don't go out socially in the lifestyle.

My question to you, the Mrs., is do YOU really want a FMF or is this something you're doing for the Mr. Not that you need to answer here, but if it's something that you're just meh about for yourself, perhaps your quest should be reevaluated.

From my experiences as a single female on the site a few years back, most couples SAY the female half is bi and a FMF is just for her but when it comes down to it, she's really just wanting to fulfill her man's fantasy. Which is totally admirable and sweet. I think women should just be upfront about saying "this one's for you honey, I want to make it the best ever for you". Much like the straight male half of a couple does when seeking a MFM for his woman.

Newark DE
 
 
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It's not that I think it happens for everyone but talking to some couples (mostly the Male 1/2 of the couple) they think it's just gonna "fall in there lap" when the time is right, I THINK sadly those are the ones that will be either waiting a very long time OR just not have it happen at all. One thing we can all agree on is if the Male is out activly looking for it, it just won't happen. Females connect better with other Females. at the very least its a lot easier to explain to another woman LOL. I learned to face it proably not gonna happen, Why?... because the small town #1 and from what I gathered it takes women to have a "agressave" approach toward other women, Lets say the business we are in our phone number is in bold numbers on our vehicles. Mrs Fun gets offers just driving down the road so Single Male will never be a problem. Don't need a web site to find it. apparently we just advertise for it

Wisconsin Dells WI
 
 
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Thanks SLOTowner, there are almost no degrees of seperation in some cases. I've tried a couple different times to put hot dates out there for what we are looking for and even contact a few direct by email here and occasionally would get a response with some reason a particulra date or whatnot didn't work or something of that nature (with a little planning we can make most times/dates work) but most often no reponses at all. Leaves one to wonder. Mr. thinks it's got to work for all kinds of people out there, hence the post.

Wisconsin Dells WI
 
 
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Yes, I think it would be difficult for you to find single playgirls locally in a small town with not six, but maybe TWO degrees of separation. And, as you say, being somewhat agressively proactive in approaching likely single women could cause you major problems.

Why not put out a "cattle call" here on SLS for single or married women to come visit you? It might be a fun trip for them and I'm sure there would have to be a getting-to-know-you meeting involved, but it might turn into something nice. Also, list a playdate for several zip codes in your vicinity to see if you can find a playmate or two. SLO

San Luis Obispo CA
 
 
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TOPIC: Mrs question for Women How hard is it really to find a woman for MFF