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MfM : Swingers Discussion 229242
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TOPIC: MfM
Created by: sbswing
Original Starting post for this thread:
who initiates the first move in a MfM threesome? with out coming off as too pushy or aggressive ...

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Mrs Biodoc is doing it the right way. As she said, once a couple and their 'date' have chatted and vetted each other before meeting, there should be no doubt in the SM's mind that the couple is serious about real time 3some fun. In my experiences with my ex swing partner/hotwife, 3somes turned out best when the she initiated the fun. With my ex, it could be passively, by removing her outer clothes to reveal her hot body and sexy underthings to him (and me!)...or it could be aggressively, by sitting down next to him and nibbling his neck and earlobes and fondling him. On rare occasions if our date was still a bit hesitant, I would initiate the action by sitting next to her and beginning foreplay while motioning or asking him to join. We never had a date jump up and leave LOL

Now, as a solo bi man who seeks and meets couples for 3somes, I prefer for her or him to initiate things (and she or he usually does), but am not afraid to be overt and ask them if they'd like me to get things to get started! It's a great icebreaker.

Kennesaw GA
 
 
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As the Mrs in a couple who enjoys MFM and MMF situations, I have to agree with the other posters. I will have looked at the profile of the SM and found him attractive, the guys will have talked and made sure that sexual desires and styles seem compatible, so when we meet it is really just waiting until all of us are comfortable and relaxed. When I'm comfortable, almost without thinking I move my leg next to his, or touch his arm. The Mr will take clues from me and if it doesn't progress, he will discreetly ask if I'm not feeling it, or if Im just slow to warm up and still deciding. If there is a second meet, it generally starts the same way, but a little sooner and a little more intimate. By the 3rd meet we all have figured each other out, and the SM and I may kiss as soon as he steps through the door. The few times when I didn't initiate the contact, it pretty much worked the same in reverse. The SM touched me timidly and I responded in kind or with less or more enthusiasm depending on my comfort level and desire. Thankfully we have never met a more agressive guy, but I'm pretty sure that I would recoil in the same way as I would in a vanilla situation, and would most likely be turned off by the situation. So basically, if you have spoken with the Mr or the couple ahead of time and understand their wants/likes/dislikes, you can pretty much operate as you would in any date when it gets to the point of physical interaction.

Philadelphia PA
 
 
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Should have said "Not being able to read another's body language or if body language is not mutually accepting is an indicator that bedroom play is just not going to work."

Cape Coral FL
 
 
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Sw that's exactly what we do. We watch body language. If one touches another, wait for the reaction. When in a MFM situation, If Mrs. Hottie and the guy are mutually touching the I know it will work for them. Then it's up to me (or the guys). If my wife sees the guys joking, and touching (the way guys) do, then she'll suggest a puppy pile (or something) like that. The point is, give and watch for subtle cues; just as we do in polite society and if those cues are mutual then we have a connection. Not being able to read another's body language indicates that bedroom play is just not going to work. Being labeled as to aggressive or having to ask is an indication that social skills maybe lacking. When I was dating, I believed that a woman should never have to resort to an explicit "No!" That creates and awkward moment that can ruin the whole evening for everyone. The benefit of being laid back is there will not be an awkward moment in the future because she won't feel threatened. Sometimes a lady just needs time to think about it. She may reconsider. Just be cool with whatever she decides.

Cape Coral FL
 
 
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It will depend on the personalities and/or relationships of everyone involved. If one of the men is the woman's partner or husband, ask him ahead of time how they would like things to go. Does she want to be directed or directorial, are there certain things that she loves or hates, is there anything that is strictly off limits, are they hoping you, as the SM, will take the lead or wait until they get started, does the other male want to sit back and watch for a while, etc. While it isn't rocket science it does take some communication, IMO.

Sheboygan Falls WI
 
 
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Her, her and her.

Akron OH
 
 
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who initiates the first move in a MfM threesome? with out coming off as too pushy or aggressive ...

El Segundo CA
 
 
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TOPIC: MfM