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MFM vetting and communications : Swingers Discussion 192210
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TOPIC: MFM vetting and communications
Created by: Fun_Ahoy
Original Starting post for this thread:
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I usually chat first. If the guy can hold a conversation then I'll let hubby chat next and see what he thinks.

Once the guy makes it past chat we set up dinner and drinks with no expectations of sex. We can tell half way through dinner if playtime is on the agenda or not.

We have a special signal I use for hubby if I want to play. When I am in the lady's room, he 1) makes to deal to play or 2) let's the guy down gently depending on the signal.

99% of the time, we make good choices from the chat.

Plano TX
 
 
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Thank you KD and FS1 for the forum welcome ! I remarried and gave up my swinging/bi side for 10 years for my 2nd (very str8) wife and missed it very much. I am now happily solo for almost 3 years and swinging again. I still go about it in the same way 1st wife and I did LOL. I find it difficult to meet couples who want or prefer to swing with solo men, but I do manage to connect from time to time and the same thing held true. It has been the wife or female of the couple who initiated email or phone contact with me with her husband's/bf's blessing and we voice verified...all 3 of us knowing we want to meet. I pretty much know that a couple is serious (and hot!) if the woman extends to me nterest in a 3some with me and her hubby/bf. Whenever I am approached by the 'str8' or bi husband/bf, rarely is he interested in a 3some with his wife/gf....invariably he is looking for bi sex with other men 1 on 1. I am usually receptive to it and understand his reluctance to reveal to his wife/gf that he is bi or bi curious. Has anyone else experienced this?

Forsyth GA
 
 
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1st wife much preferred and enjoyed mfm 3somes with str8 and bi men over 4somes with couples. I adored watching her with other men. She became so super-excited both planning and orchestrating our 'dates' that it quite excited me too. She also coaxed me and our 'date' to play together too and it's how I became bi. I hope mention of bi males is not offensive here because I have not seen any mention of it on this thread. We placed ads for men on several sites and never had any shortage of applicants LOL We'd screen the responses together and veto/weed out the obvious jerks, fakes and losers and end up with what she called her working list. She initiiated email contact with them, we further screened the responses and voice verified her men of interest to arrive at her 'A' List. She had the final say on whom we would meet, then she'd make arrangements to meet him at a Chili's/Applebee's type bar/restaurant for drinks. She dressed provocatively and began to seduce him almost immediately, fully intending to invite him to leave with us if the vibes were right for her and him (which they almost always were!) Depending on her level of excitment and mood she would sometimes leave with him in his car drecting him to our place as I followed closely in our car. Other times she would have him follow us. We only ever had 1 no-show but when that happened, she called a backup guy from the 'A' list to come meet and he showed up ! We never had a a single bad experience although there were several times when the vibes were just not there for her or him and she and I went home to make hot passionate love. I couldn't lose either way !

Forsyth GA
 
 
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KindDragon: "....i dont like to send personal pic's if i am not 'almost' sure they are real. i say almost cause you never know around here, lol. so a little conversation first, phonecall, etc... helps to know that better........."

Yeah, I guess you are right, after you have verified that someone is who they say they are. Generally, however, my experience with couples has always been that they reply to my email or make first contact, we email once or twice, we set a date for coffee or drinks and make a date to play. I have said "no" twice, but have never had a couple say no to me. I don't go to a "first date" expecting to go home with a couple, but most often, that is what they have in mind, so I always prepare for that.

So anyway, I think that, based on what I'm reading here, that I will get some other photos into my profile that give ;-) a better look at what I have to offer.

Regardng the term "real," when I (as a single guy) say that a couple is "real," I mean that I feel confident that the "couple" actually is truly a (somewhat) normal male/female couple and not some a serial emailer, photo collector and/or a wierd, single male wanting to have a homosexual tryst. Others' definition of a "real" couple may be a bit different than mine. SLO

San Luis Obispo CA
 
 
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I guess it also matters how you define "real"

Many couples are called "fakes" when they decide to no longer pursue someone at some point during the vetting process.

Are people who originally intend to meet in person, but then have cold feet considered real or fake?

The overwhelming majority of people we talk to (mainly single men) who agree to meet us in person, will disappear, cancel, or somehow not follow through.

Not knowing their original intentions we tend to call them "fakes" and kind of assume that their plan all along was to have some hot chat and masturbate to a pic exchange.

But at the same time, it could just be that a large number of people DO intend to follow through but get scared when that day comes.

Its tough. We tend to lump everyone into the fake category because its frustrating to spend a good deal of time chatting, emailing, exchanging pics and cams, only to have it go nowhere AFTER we all agree that we are matches.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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We actually do it almost all together.

We sit down at the computer together, read the emails together, email, and chat together.

The only thing I (male) do alone on here is play in the forums. The email thing is blinking away right now with a bunch of emails but I dont even click on it until we are home together.

As far as verification. We do get and send full G-rated pics and x-rated pics.

While its certainly not our number 1 deciding factor, there are some really unappealing looking penises out there. There have been times talking to someone really hot, a great body, and they send a penis picture and honestly it just looks gross.

Who wants to meet, then get down to business and find out when you all get naked that something is a major turn off?

We dont like to get into weeks of chat and emailing. But we do try to cam verify (both them and us) and do some basic chat.

Sounding like a broken whining complaining record here, but we find the no-show rate just as bad when we put a lot of time into communication as when we try to take the fast track. So we are pretty quick to move on at the first indication that someone is not going to follow through with our intention of meeting people for real.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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She's the one on the computer most of the time. She's the chatting/emailing person. And she's gotten pretty good at weeding out what wouldn't interest either/both of us. She'll show him a prospect and he has veto power.

We're picky, don't meet very many, but have only been disappointed once (we both pulled the escape "word").

Las Vegas NV
 
 
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From Lady K: "................i find a body part pic to be helpful in deciding if i want to be with him/her. (no need for 20 different angles) but there's just some things i am not attracted to ....and would rather find out before than after.

if i may ask you... don't you like to 'see' women's body parts and don't they ever help you to decide if you would like them to be a potential playmate? ...just wondering :)

Lady K :)...................."

Hi.....SLO here.... I suppose I can understand your wanting to see a naked picture of your wannabe ;-) , prospective swing partner. And, K, the problem I have with sending those is that it can often be difficult to know if the couple is real or not. Having said that, I wonder how many other singles feel this way(?). Oh well, thanks for the input, K, I'm going t think about this.

Also, you asked if I wanted to see intimate photos of a lady before I meet with a couple. Yeah, sure, it is nice, but it sure is NOT a deal-breaker for me.

San Luis Obispo CA
 
 
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@nmanno5, You have a very nice profile. If you only you were much much closer.

In vetting MFM it could be either of us but with me as the final sayer.

Lansing MI
 
 
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Unfortunatly having been lied to so many times by "singles" has lead to being even more hard core about what, when, where and how. And yes, before a meet not only do we want full body and face pic, but a cock picture as well.

We agree with the Dont you want to see the womans parts, as well. Not meaning to be rude but if the parts dont turn on, who wants to do oral? I mean yes, face and personalty and body type is important, but when it comes down to oral sex, well, enough said.

And again, the female here gives the right of choice to the male, who knows what she wants and so forth.

Hot Springs National Park AR
 
 
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TOPIC: MFM vetting and communications