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FORUMS General Discussions 3-Some Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
TOPIC: Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
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::shrug::

It was an illustration of how "people who can't read or follow simple instructions" can act as if you are the one being rude.

It's ok that it didn't do anything for you. I can live with that.

Columbia MD
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Well, if you get a ton of emails (which we don't), I can understand getting snarky with people who can't either read a profile nor your reply to the first message..Best thing is the delete button, resisting the temptation to advice them of what dumbshits they are.

Tempe AZ
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Damn dude your wife is hottt!!!, could I drive out and tap that shit!!

Blythe GA
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So we're rude because we don't reply to people who can't read or follow simple instructions? We can live with that.

And thanks for that super special story. I don't know what the point of it was. But thanks for sharing it anyway.

T

Danville PA
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-Several have followed up asking why we deleted their message and we just delete those too.

You DO realize that you just became one of those "rude" people, don't you? At least as far as they are concerned.

Obviously THEY thought they were a good match for whatever reason. If you ignore them, or delete their email, then they just classify you as being rude. They will never realize that THEY are the ones at fault unless you tell them.

And no matter how politely you phrase it ("Hi, I guess you didn't notice the BIG LETTERS that say no photo, no repsonse") you run the risk (again) of being labeled rude.

I am an administrator for an online swing group. We have some very basic rules. No single males, no cheaters, must be in the DC/MD/VA area. I reject a dozen people or more a week who want to join even through they are single males, playing on the side or live in New Mexico (or some such place that isn't DC/MD/VA). At least half of them indignantly ask why they were turned down. I cut and paste the requirements into the email and send it back to them. About half of THEM send rude or insulting email back, usually telling me they didn't want to join our stinky old group anyway!

Sadly, I've had to reject a couple of people multiple times. For those, I start getting snarky. If they persist, I express amazement that someone who can't even read can find our group on the internet. Rude? Maybe.... but after they keep wasting my time, they lose an claim to a polite response.

Columbia MD
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"We just delete the emails if it's some fly by night guy or couple who email us."

We do the same for couples as well. It's not just SM's that we give the cold shoulder to. Basically, if it's obvious that a single or couple didn't read our profile and they email us anyway, we delete the email without reply. One thing we ask is that anyone who contacts us have pics available for us and that if there's no pics, there will be no response. Even couples who email us without pics get deleted. Several have followed up asking why we deleted their message and we just delete those too. Don't have time to mess with people who can't read.

T

Danville PA
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There are not many that actually read profiles. I get all kinds of ppl that do not match what I seek, I just send ......Thank you for your interest but we are not compatible.

Spring TX
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We just delete the emails if it's some fly by night guy or couple who email us. If a SM emails us, and he seems like a nice guy, I'll (male half) politely respond that we're not looking for single guys right now (we're open to MFM, but after a careful selection) but will get back to him if she's up for it. I was a single guy in the LS once upon a time, and I understand the problems they have; thus the more "liberal" attitude toward them.

Tempe AZ
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Is it ok to be rude...my thought would be no, however, I know that I have been rude. Our profile was set up so as to not limit or choices...exactly that. Our choices. But in our profile, it states multiple times NO SINGLE MALES, with the caveat that we will search out the single male when WE so choose to do so. But it amazes me that the single males who email/IM us have not read our profile and instead just act on the visual cues. It isn't much that we ask...just a little respect.

Merritt Island FL
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That's why I said "It's a really simple process of elimination."

Also, I'm not aware of any option to limit who sends you email. I can turn our profile off for SM's, but it's not our desire to do that. We enjoy interacting with people in the forums and whether they are SM, SF, or a Couple, we'd like everyone we interact with to be able to see who we are.

T

Danville PA
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(3205 posts)
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TOPIC: Is it ever OK to be rude in your response