Is it cynical of me : Swingers Discussion 197397

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TOPIC: Is it cynical of me

Created by: FreeLadyInDC Original Starting post for this thread:
I've been in the lifestyle as a single woman for a few months now, but prior to that I had been active in the lifestyle for many years with my now ex. Recently, I've been noticing the vast majority of the emails I have been receiving from couples are written from the woman's point of view. When I was part of a couple, I recall the messages coming primarily from the male half. Is it cynical of me to think that many of these "messages from the missus" are really coming from a guy trying to pull a bait and switch? I'm not sure if it's a recent trend or if it's just that I'm a single female now. Sometimes there are giveaways like they are a free member, have no certs and no pics, or they will write things that would be very odd for a woman say. Recently, a "wife" told me in her initial message that she wanted to watch her husband "f*ck [my] brains out with his huge black cock". I know there are many women out there who are sincerely interested in other women and I ended up meeting a few already. It seems like a good idea for a couple looking for a MFF to have the female write the first message to help initiate some kind of bond. It may be me being more sensitive now that I'm on my own or because of some of the stories I've heard over the years about the tricks single guys pull, but have any of you noticed an increase in the number of female halves making the first contact?

Created by: FreeLadyInDC
Original Starting post for this thread:

I've been in the lifestyle as a single woman for a few months now, but prior to that I had been active in the lifestyle for many years with my now ex.  Recently, I've been noticing the vast majority of the emails I have been receiving from couples are written from the woman's point of view.  When I was part of a couple, I recall the messages coming primarily from the male half.  Is it cynical of me to think that many of these "messages from the missus" are really coming from a guy trying to pull a bait and switch?  I'm not sure if it's a recent trend or if it's just that I'm a single female now.  Sometimes there are giveaways like they are a free member, have no certs and no pics, or they will write things that would be very odd for a woman say.  Recently, a "wife" told me in her initial message that she wanted to watch her husband "f*ck [my] brains out with his huge black cock".  I know there are many women out there who are sincerely interested in other women and I ended up meeting a few already.  It seems like a good idea for a couple looking for a MFF to have the female write the first message to help initiate some kind of bond.  It may be me being more sensitive now that I'm on my own or because of some of the stories I've heard over the years about the tricks single guys pull, but have any of you noticed an increase in the number of female halves making the first contact?

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User Details are only visible to members.	I must say my situation is pretty simple. I receive a fair amount of mail from couples, but I can tell it is usually male half behind the words. The emails sound too straightforward and lusty, also the compliments (if any) are something a man would say. The few emails that I suppose were written by female half of a couple, sounded softer and a little curious. From my experience, women are more likely to read the profile and follow any requests for pictures or maybe even a special word in the subject line of the email. Many men will look at the pictures only and fire off an email hoping for a response. So to me emails written by female half generally sound more personal and tailored to my requests, whereas emails written by male half will be more generic and even more aggressive. Which to me it means I am more likely to decline an invitation sent by a male half. In the end, if I am struck by something in the email or profile and I feel drawn in to continue, it does not matter who contacted me. I just wonder how many of these men writing to me actively involve their female partner in the selection process and lifestyle in general. From the amount of DRAMA being discussed all over the forums, unfortunately not too many.
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1934 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	AprilTom and Sweettart, what you are saying is exactly what I was concerned about. I've heard stories and have had my own suspicions. I'm just concerned a lot of the guys are getting sneaky by impersonating women to trick single females into meeting them.... so unfortunate....
Washington DC			Username hidden (9 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We use a cam when ever possible. Then we know who is at the other end.
Cleveland GA			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	April. I'm sure that the ladies who post here in the forums are very much involved in the selection process, but they are only a small fraction of the couples in the lifestyle and are the exception to the rule.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2197 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	For us. about 90% of the time when a couples writes us,It's the male half who's doing all the corresponding and the wife has no idea who his writing to.We have showed up for dates where the wife had no idea who she was meeting or some who didn't know they where even meeting anyone.These dates have NEVER worked out, apparently these men didn't know what their wives liked as much as they thought they did. because of this we try and make it a rule that the wives talk on the phone before we set up a time to meet. I can't count the number of times my wife has ask if they have seen our profile and pics the answer has been "oh he takes care of all that" only to have them disappear after she sees our profile. Once when we lived in Oregon, we found out the the wife we thought we were talking to was really a crack whore that he had talked into pretending she was his wife on the phone to trick us into meeting him.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2197 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Your original post and many of the comments you’ve received are very interesting because I have been wondering about the same thing, albeit from a single male point of view. Most of my communications are with couples. But whenever I’m communicating by email and later with a chat, I always wonder exactly who is it that I am really communicating with. Is it really the wife, the husband, or some guy just goofing off by jerking my chain. I get especially cautious when the person is consistently saying what a male wants to hear. It’s curious that others have experienced similar situations.
Chester NJ			Username hidden (241 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'm the one who does the communicating in here (the female). I think more and more women are empowered. - h
Las Vegas NV			Username hidden (835 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have been contacted by a few couples with a "lead" female or a couple who takes turns at communicating. I really appreciate the chance to "talk" with both as we proceed.
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3305 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	No opinion on the topic but it is soo refreshing to see women who involved in the selection, search and communication. In our experience those are the most grounded, sane and happiest potential playmates....kudos ladies ! Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4094 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The wife half of this couple is the "voice" behind the computer 97% of the time and nearly always makes first contact. I have more time and am easier to get in touch with than my husband.
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3305 post)

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TOPIC: Is it cynical of me

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