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Is it better to sit back and wait for a cpl to make contact if you are a SM : Swingers Discussion 59355
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FORUMSGeneral Discussions3-SomeIs it better to sit back and wait for a cpl to make contact if you are a SM
TOPIC: Is it better to sit back and wait for a cpl to make contact if you are a SM
Created by: joeodd2
Original Starting post for this thread:
I have sent out over 200 emails to couples and single ladies on this site. And yes I do admit I do use a form letter. It is a very well thought out and well written letter which basically says what I would say to any couple or person that I would meet for the first time. I have gotten back some "No thank you" replies and a few that were a bit more personable. I had even recieved emails from cpls who I had never emailed. It seems that people really do contact single guys to join them. So right now I not sure. How does a single guy get the most out of this site? Not necessarilly talking about sex, just contacts. I feel kinda bad sometimes because as far as I've been told, I have a great profile. I have a decent amount of certifications. And I am honest and upfront. Now understand I am not trying to sound like a whiner, I now that this is a site mostly for couples. But I am not a couple, I am a single guy. So if you have any advice for me I would certainly take it to heart and implement it. Thanks

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The only difficulty I've had is that many couples profiles are so vague that I have very little to go on when writing them other than the fact that I find the woman attractive. I always try to write something personal, but in those cases, the email comes off sounding like a form letter, even though it's not - just by virtue of the fact that I've nothing to comment on, since the profile is so lacking of information.

Kane

Port Orange FL
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We reply to ALMOST all emails we receive, even if it's only to say "no thanks." If the email is polite and shows signs of intelligent life on the creator's end of the electrons, as usually happens, then we reply. If the email is crude & vulgar or just stupid, we don't.

We seem to get a LOT of inquiries from single guys in their 30s, even though we have children older than they are. That just ain't gonna happen. While we MAY enjoy playtime with someone that young, we aren't going to PLAN it. It would have to be one of those things that just "happened" at a party or club.

But if the single guy who writes understands that we don't play every weekend, and sometimes not for weeks or months at a time, then he's got a chance, assuming he is at least in his mid-40s and has a nicely written profile and has some public pictures posted and if P finds him nice looking. In those cases we just tell them that we are adding their profile to our Friends list, and we will get back in touch if/when P feels frisky enough for an mfm, which doesn't happen just because some guy writes that he wants to fuck her.

Jim

South Riding VA
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I don't know if it's the geography but if it works for ya why stop? Sitll living in Arlington btw, ya know just FYI ; )

Arlington TX
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OK, I guess I'll stop complaining, seems like in some venues I not only get a response but I also find out that I am missing one thing that makes the difference - timing.

Thanks for the appreciation, and I hope you find it returned in all Arlingtons.

Arlington VA
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Hey, Arlinton, VA and Arlington, TX

Something about Arlington's today? I was at the Hotel by Six Flags 2 weeks ago in Arlington with an SLS single male. See, you guys are definitely appreciated by this Unicorn!

RaveN ( :~

Fort Worth TX
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I have to say that being in the same position my frustrating experience has been that most people simply do not bother replying. One has precious little guidance as to whether they are not looking for a single male, are too busy right now, or are simply looking at profiles and not being active at all.

Unlikely as it seems the "I thought I would say hello and see what develops" one liner got the most responses. I have to admit a lot of them were " with a single male nothing will develop, ever", but at least that tells me not to put any more energy in that direction.

I'd love to have people offer advice on improving my profile. Looking at the comments you got I think that may be possible, although considering the number of replies of any kind I got I would not be very hopefull.

Arlington VA
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Wow I had forgot about this thread. It's nice to see that it's still alive. All of you have been very helpful and I have had so much good advice and encouragement from many nice couples and ladies. I still e-mail on occasion but now they are more personalized. I do find however that I just don't know if a couple really would be a good fit just based on a profile. I mean most people seem to be very nice and I find many ladies on here to be attractive. I have a wide range of friends and a broad acceptance and appreciation for many personality types. So I guess you could say that I'm not too picky about those things, until I actually meet someone in person. Allot of my conversations with couples on the site seems to wind up going no where. less than 2 percent I have actually ended up meeting and playing with. But hey I'll keep at it, the couples and ladies that I have gotten to know and play with have all had positive things to say about me, so I am certain that I will meet more people and expand my network of friends. Thanks again to all of you who have taken the time to write.

Arlington TX
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I enjoyed this whole link so far and thank eveyone who contributed. I have sent a lot of letters myself, but I really do not have a clue how many. I have tried several different approaches and this is what I have learned so far. 1)Never use form letters a) most people read right thru them b) a lot of folks have more then 1 profile just to see who is sending what. 2) never write to anyone who says that they do not want to hear from you. Even if it is to make a positive comment about their profile 3) always be respectful and respectable 4) always be patient, it does pay 5) always be honest about what you want. a) I try not to discuss sex in detail. It is to easy to get caught in the fantasy and forget about the reality that you may have to produce what you dreamed up in fantasy land.

I have more to ad, but I am out of typing time. Good Luck.

Collegeville PA
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I have a swing mate that joins me on ocassion. She prefers to have a male join us because she likes the attention two men can provide. We have met with couples a few times, both times either the guy or gal did not seem real interested so it led to some awkward moments. My swing partner has a busy life and we live 60 miles apart so time together is hard to schedule, matching her schedule with another couple is difficult so I often contact couples looking for mfm threesomes which is what I prefer. I have had a lot of luck and a lot of turndowns. If the guy is tugging his wife along so he can fuck other women, I normally get a no when I suggest a mfm, if the woman is into it and sexual she recognizes the potential for a lot of pleasure and if her mate likes to see her have the pleasure I normally get a yes to the mfm request, this avoids the women who just lay there syndrome.

Grand Junction CO
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Read the profile. If they are ok with guys contacting them, then go ahead and do not use some form email. Also, make sure to read the ENTIRE profile, make sure you fit. Make mention of something in the profile to show you really read it. Multiple things if possible to show you are attentive to what they are looking for. Damn, it is alomost like a job interview...lol We can not stand that we are specific about somethings, and then get written by those who do not fit. It is so obvious they did not read or at least pay attention to the whole profile. And this doesn't apply to just you guys, everyone should follow better writting ettiquette.

Bristow VA
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TOPIC: Is it better to sit back and wait for a cpl to make contact if you are a SM