Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM: Swingers Discussion 2123901051

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Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM: Swingers Discussion 2123901051

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TOPIC: Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM

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User Details are only visible to members.	Suggestion from a single female with 5 years of dealing with Single Males and mainly the husbands of Married Couples in the Lifestyle: For your first time experience it's better if you have one that not only are you sexually attracted to, but one that has a bit of LS experience (been on website for a while with a certification or two on his profile). I know that not all people will agree with me and think that certifications are valid or even beneficial, but they are merely an added tool that can aid you in making a better informed decision. I have known of first-timers who had an unpleasant experience that has discouraged them from trying again. If you really want the vanilla guy that badly, perhaps let your first trial run be with an experienced LS guy that knows the score and if you and your spouse are happy with that outcome, then by all means, you and your spouse should attempt the seduction of that single vanilla guy you want so badly.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (2716 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	thanks for the detailed reply Uriah! It seems like besides #1 the main problem is that he may form some kind of attachment to me. Yikes! That would be tough, I would hate to lead anyone on like that or to have him hurt that way. I thought all guys would be happy with just sex anyway!! ;) It's the women that are known to form emotional attachments. You said in #3 I don't have the experience to communicate to him the dynamics. Can you please explain further? Maybe I get get enough info so I know how/what to communicate
Davison MI			Username hidden (113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Oh and thanks for the welcome M :) And yep that's right Nic, I was just wondering if there was anything me or the Mr. could do to help create the right, comfortable atmosphere and have a fun night for all of us. I like to be prepared and I tend to think things through a lot. I always look out for the other person whether it's my husbands pleasure or playmates. Exciting them, watching the walls fall and their desire and need for me increase is a huge turn on for me, to say the least.
Davison MI			Username hidden (113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Camzwife- The following scenarios are possible if you invite a vanlila SM (i.e., an "amateur") for your first MFM: 1. He can't get it up, since he has never had sex with a woman when another man is watching; 2. Since he is an amateur, he doesn't quite understand the dynamics, and he may get the wrong idea (e.g., he falls in love with the woman); 3. Since this is your first MFM, you don't have the experience to communicate to him the dynamics, thereby increasing the likelihood of #2; 4. He becomes your best buddy, won't go away, and becomes a pest. My advice is to "select" a professional (hence, the term "select single male"). Uriah
Memphis TN			Username hidden (855 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	M, her question was how to make things less awkward and more comfortable for the vanilla single guy and I answered her. You swing differently and I know you aren't going to put up with that kind of an issue but that wasn't what she was asking. To the OP, the type of drama I have seen from vanilla or inexperienced guys is they suddenly think they have a girlfriend or someone they can call and hook up with at their leisure. Guys who have been in the LS for awhile understand boundaries better than that. A guy you pick up in a bar may think your marriage is in trouble or you aren't getting satisfaction at home and inevitably they become too attached. Yes, this is a generalization and yes the same issues can crop up with guys in the LS but the odds are better when dealing with experienced guys.
Youngstown OH			Username hidden (11415 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Go for it then if that's what you want. It's just sex. If it doesn't workout, there will be plenty of opportunities. I suspect that part of the reason why you found this guy so hot is precisely because how it happened, organically. You didn't pre plan it, you didn't go through any silly interviews or screening. It was just two people that found each other sexually hot. In my opinion this is precisely how it should be. It's about pleasure, sex, spontaneity. Pre planning it, vetting the person, is just killing it.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12182 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	O yea, I actually forgot I blocked SM's oops!! Just for a while we weren't ready for that and kept getting bombarded with SM e-mail, so yea it's fixed now for your viewing pleasure, haha! Nic - Yea I can see how he could get a little uncomfortable because he's like the 3rd wheel so to speak. I think some alone time in the beginning would be a good idea. (of course would have to make sure Mr. is ok with that) I really want it to work, so I can be patient but if he just can't stay hard while Mr. is involved and/or watching I guess I would take it as he really isn't into it. We've talked about meeting SM from sls but it doesn't ever seem to pan out. Mr. hasn't warmed up to the process of taking SM applications online. We just talked about going out and spontaneously meeting SM's. Uriah - what kind of drama could be expected? I would like to be prepared in order to prevent that. Seduction - My mind and body are telling me I really want this guy with my husband...bad! haha :p
Davison MI			Username hidden (113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I would disagree with you Nic. If the guy loses his erection because my husband is in the room, it wont be my husband that's leaving, it will be the SM. Swinging for us is about sexual fantasy fulfillment, not re-assuring people (men women couples) that all will be fine and no need to be nervous. High school is over, we're mature adults. Camzwife, Welcome to the forum. Vanilla bar, a Swinging M&G, or meeting other swingers for the purpose of eventually getting laid, is all the same as we're all accustomed to when we date. It's about attraction, it's about what you are looking to experience from the encounter. You meet, if there is chemistry you do what comes naturally to you, what your body and mind is telling you to do :).
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12182 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	And at about 3 hours, this "professional" could make that happen...just sayin. ;-)'
Amherst OH			Username hidden (2271 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ditto to Nic's comments, except I would emphasize that there is a greater risk of drama with a vanilla SM. You want what we call in the LS a "professional". Contact an established SM in your area; obviously, you will need to unblock SMs to have any credibility.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (855 post)

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TOPIC: Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM