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FORUMS General Discussions 3-Some Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM
TOPIC: Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM
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Oops - profile open now, read it over...retract offer so as not to be PITA SM already! LOL Best of luck to you in your adventures!

Jacksonville FL
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Mrs. Camz - I think you answered your own question - would not be the best idea to setup Mr that way. Not to say you couldn't still peruse a few SM and float them by him if you are attracted. Note: 3 hours is doable drive...LOL

Jacksonville FL
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Thanks for the advice about trying out a "professional SM" Like I said my Mr. isn't really into taking applications and looking for SM's on SLS and would prefer a more organic approach, so not sure how it would work.

hmmmm...Was thinking maybe I could set the scene by finding a good matched professional to meet us up at a bar w/o husband knowing and pretending at first he's just some random guy at the bar, then telling him later that I set it all up. Not sure if this would be considered as dishonest or if it would be a good move and he'd be grateful for it. Actually nm, he'd probably see the messages back and forth anyway ...duh!

Davison MI
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All of our playmates have had previous lifestyle experience which has made all the difference. We're experienced enough now to try a newbie but will stay mostly with those who have been there. Fewer potential problems, better chance of success

Coeur D Alene ID
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thanks for the detailed reply Uriah!

It seems like besides #1 the main problem is that he may form some kind of attachment to me. Yikes! That would be tough, I would hate to lead anyone on like that or to have him hurt that way. I thought all guys would be happy with just sex anyway!! ;) It's the women that are known to form emotional attachments.

You said in #3 I don't have the experience to communicate to him the dynamics. Can you please explain further? Maybe I get get enough info so I know how/what to communicate

Davison MI
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Oh and thanks for the welcome M :)

And yep that's right Nic, I was just wondering if there was anything me or the Mr. could do to help create the right, comfortable atmosphere and have a fun night for all of us. I like to be prepared and I tend to think things through a lot. I always look out for the other person whether it's my husbands pleasure or playmates. Exciting them, watching the walls fall and their desire and need for me increase is a huge turn on for me, to say the least.

Davison MI
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Camzwife-

The following scenarios are possible if you invite a vanlila SM (i.e., an "amateur") for your first MFM:

1. He can't get it up, since he has never had sex with a woman when another man is watching;

2. Since he is an amateur, he doesn't quite understand the dynamics, and he may get the wrong idea (e.g., he falls in love with the woman);

3. Since this is your first MFM, you don't have the experience to communicate to him the dynamics, thereby increasing the likelihood of #2;

4. He becomes your best buddy, won't go away, and becomes a pest.

My advice is to "select" a professional (hence, the term "select single male").

Uriah

Memphis TN
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M, her question was how to make things less awkward and more comfortable for the vanilla single guy and I answered her. You swing differently and I know you aren't going to put up with that kind of an issue but that wasn't what she was asking.

To the OP, the type of drama I have seen from vanilla or inexperienced guys is they suddenly think they have a girlfriend or someone they can call and hook up with at their leisure. Guys who have been in the LS for awhile understand boundaries better than that. A guy you pick up in a bar may think your marriage is in trouble or you aren't getting satisfaction at home and inevitably they become too attached.

Yes, this is a generalization and yes the same issues can crop up with guys in the LS but the odds are better when dealing with experienced guys.

Youngstown OH
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Go for it then if that's what you want. It's just sex. If it doesn't workout, there will be plenty of opportunities.

I suspect that part of the reason why you found this guy so hot is precisely because how it happened, organically. You didn't pre plan it, you didn't go through any silly *interviews* or *screening.* It was just two people that found each other sexually hot. In my opinion this is precisely how it should be. It's about pleasure, sex, spontaneity. Pre planning it, vetting the person, is just killing it.

Rumson NJ
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O yea, I actually forgot I blocked SM's oops!! Just for a while we weren't ready for that and kept getting bombarded with SM e-mail, so yea it's fixed now for your viewing pleasure, haha!

Nic - Yea I can see how he could get a little uncomfortable because he's like the 3rd wheel so to speak. I think some alone time in the beginning would be a good idea. (of course would have to make sure Mr. is ok with that) I really want it to work, so I can be patient but if he just can't stay hard while Mr. is involved and/or watching I guess I would take it as he really isn't into it.

We've talked about meeting SM from sls but it doesn't ever seem to pan out. Mr. hasn't warmed up to the process of taking SM applications online. We just talked about going out and spontaneously meeting SM's.

Uriah - what kind of drama could be expected? I would like to be prepared in order to prevent that.

Seduction - My mind and body are telling me I really want this guy with my husband...bad! haha :p

Davison MI
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TOPIC: Inviting a vanilla SM for our first MFM