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Hubby trying to convince me to try a blk gentlemen any suggestions : Swingers Discussion 374891061
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TOPIC: Hubby trying to convince me to try a blk gentlemen any suggestions
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the thing i cant undestand is if its my fantasy or dream to try a blk gentelman why does the race card have to cum out. one question i have is if i said i wanted to try a korean man would you take a stand just as tough?

Sylmar CA
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This is probably not the forum in which to solve our country's race problems, but I have to respectfully disagree with VAL again. People who refuse to acknowledge the continuing legacy of racism don't help us to get past it. To me, it's like saying that a disease can heal itself if we pretend it doesn't exist.

I do agree, however, with VAL's suggestion that race isn't always an issue. I'm encouraged to see so many people on here, for example, who say that they are open to people of any race.

Even so, I think it's safe to say that race is a front-and-center issue in a forum seeking suggestions about "trying" a black man. It's an issue that the original poster would probably do well to consider before proceeding.

Atlanta GA
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Those who see racism and white supremacy lurking behind every tree and bush are part of the problem.

Those who don't give a damn about race, but who enjoy experiencing all kinds of diversity, are part of the solution.

South Riding VA
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With all due respect, J, race is an issue on SLS whether you want it to be or not. It doesn't take much looking around here to find white women looking for "hung black studs.". And there are plenty of profiles that say NO BLACK MEN or BLACK MEN ONLY, etc. Race is an issue in the title of this very topic.

The original poster asked for suggestions. My suggestion is to think about why her husband wants her to "try" a black man and why she is curious about it.

You are free to suggest that she not think about race. But not thinking about it doesn't mean that the issue does not exist.

Atlanta GA
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takoma,

What you are trying to fight is not an issue here, but every time you wave the flag of racism you to continue to keep it alive. My suggestion is we stop this now on all parties because it is NOT an issue here and let’s get back on the topic of this thread.

Weatherford TX
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I seem to have touched a nerve with VALovers. I'm not sure why they, or anyone else here, would read an accusation into my discussion of our feelings on the subject. Just by way of disclaimer, though, let me make clear that I'm not accusing anyone of anything. We think interracial sex is great, and we'd like to see more of it. :-)

That said, I have to take issue with VAL's suggestion that there is nothing different between race and some other characteristic like hair color. In this country, sadly, there is. We have a very specific history of black-white race relations. You, yourself, referred to that history in an earlier post when you discussed the stereotype of black men as hung or good in bed or hypersexual. That stereotype goes way, way back in this country's history. There is nothing analogous when it comes to hair color.

So when we are approached by a person of any color who wants to have sex with our female half because he or she has heard that black women are hot, or freaky, or deep or whatever the sexual stereotype is, we stay away. We stay away not because that person is a racist. We don't know whether the person is or is not. We stay away because we don't want that historical baggage in the bedroom. It's an extra wildcard that we just don't want around.

Now I don't mean to suggest that everyone who is "curious" about interracial sex is a racist or has that curiosity only because of racist stereotypes. Nor is everyone who *does* have that curiosity because of racial stereotypes a racist.

All I am suggesting is that folks who do have that curiosity ask themselves the tough questions to figure out where it's coming from. We'll all be better off for it.

Atlanta GA
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Takoma,

Ouch, but true.

Weatherford TX
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Takoma, in all honesty I think you are overreacting to this thread. Perhaps your experiences as an interracial couple and the way you have been treated in this society as a result has given you a lot of reason to be sensitive.

But having said that, nobody mentioned race here. All that was mentioned was skin color. There is nothing inherently different in wanting to experience someone of a different skin color from wanting to experience someone of a different hair color, eye color, height, or shape than your own spouse. It's all part of enjoying the occasional spice and variety of an experience different from what you get at home.

I am very aware that our society still doesn't support racial equality, but THIS thread in a swinger's site has nothing whatsoever to do with white supremacy. This thread, and swinging in general, is about wanting diversity of experience, and embracing diversity is EXACTLY what you should be supporting.

There is enough white supremacist attitude still in our society, to be sure, and my own brothers are not even speaking to me now because I chastised them severely for forwarding to our whole family e-mails of what I call "hate diatribes" that are clearly designed to spread hate and intolerance of anyone not a white, native-born Christian. When they took issue with my chastising them, and denied that those e-mails were xenophobic, I told them that the Nazis and Ku Klux Klan would have loved them! Now they don't speak to me.

So don't accuse us, or anyone else here, of being white supremacist or racist because we are swingers who enjoy being with people who are DIFFERENT FROM ourselves. With all due respect, I think your equating a desire by swingers to experience someone of a different color to white supremacist attitudes is way out of line.

South Riding VA
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As the (white) male half of a black-white interracial couple, I want to chime in with my $0.02 on the subject of curiosity about interracial sex.

We tend to be wary of "race fetishists" of any color: Whites who want to "try" black, and blacks who want to "try" white, and so on. Our concern is that these fetishes are a lingering by-product of this nation's disgraceful history of white supremacy, and we don't want any part of that in our bedroom.

Your mileage may vary, and I am not here to judge anyone's particular fantasy. I do, however, encourage anyone who is curious about interracial sex to ask themselves the tough questions. It's important to remember that, skin color aside, we're all members of the human race.

Atlanta GA
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think that intrigues me most is color contrast and just to try it

Sylmar CA
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TOPIC: Hubby trying to convince me to try a blk gentlemen any suggestions