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Hubby trying to convince me to try a blk gentlemen any suggestions : Swingers Discussion 374891051
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TOPIC: Hubby trying to convince me to try a blk gentlemen any suggestions
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I have to agree with everybody else Takoma. You're the *only* who read any kind of racial prejudice overtones into the original message. You then go on to say "But let's not pretend that wanting to try "hung black studs" or "submissive oriental dolls" is the same thing as preferring blonds or having a foot fetish." I have to disagree with you. It *is* the same for *most* people. I happen to find oriental women and black women very sexy and attractive. Just like I find women with big tits or an English/Aussie accent sexy. It's a fetish for most of us here. And the ones that aren't, don't worry about them.

Decatur GA
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LMAO @ Nuro

Hattiesburg MS
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"But let's not pretend that wanting to try "hung black studs" or "submissive oriental dolls" is the same thing as preferring blonds or having a foot fetish. The former are unfortunately much more complicated by this country's history of race relations."

Takoma, why not? Your statement about "Oriental dolls" could be considered racist especially after the humiliating treatment the Japanese experienced when they were forced into internment camps during the war. The need for us to lecture you about the poor treatment the Japanese experienced at the hands of Americans and force our opinion on you is not there. You commented in the forum and that wasn't enough for you. We as a couple are very aware of the status of race relations in this country but don't feel the need to caution others on their fantasies or desires in this venue. Finally no one in this forum felt the need to caution you about sharing your sex lives with others. It's your business why you're here and yours alone. This lifestyle is probably the only thing in life that EVERYONE gets 100% of what they want out of it whether we agree with it or not. Everyone here is entitled to just that.

Center Valley PA
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Who called anybody a racist? If you will read through the posts carefully, you will see that the only person(s) who called anyone a racist was VALovers. I was surprised to see it coming from them because they generally do have helpful posts, but they resorted awfully quickly to name calling in this instance. I would hope that we could agree to avoid such things and keep it positive.

I'm also not sure why some are accusing me of anger, condemnation and so on for suggesting that the original poster do a little thinking before she explores her interracial fantasy. She would probably do well to think before exploring any of her fantasies. This is clearly not the place to judge people for their fantasies, and I've endeavored to avoid doing so. I don't know how to make that clearer.

Look, I'm all in favor of fantasies and exploration across racial lines. I agree with several of you who have said that it's a good thing. I also agree with VALovers that it's possible to have such curiosity without getting all wrapped up in fantasies about "hung black studs" and the like.

But let's not pretend that wanting to try "hung black studs" or "submissive oriental dolls" is the same thing as preferring blonds or having a foot fetish. The former are unfortunately much more complicated by this country's history of race relations. Granted, on a site like this, even those fantasies are not off-limits or objects of condemnation. To each her own. My point, and a simple one at that, is that they are worthy of careful consideration.

Atlanta GA
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I have to agree with VA, here. I've been following this thread from the start, and know that the only person posting in anger and condemnation is you, takoma. Up until now this thread has been supportive and helpful. Even amongst the (let's be totally PC now) people of different ethnic backgrounds, there was nothing but support, humor, and good feelings. I applaud anyone for wanting to "try" something that they may have been afraid or reserved about. It's extending the hand (or whatever) of friendship and camaraderie rather than ignoring someone or "not speaking about things" that's how prejudices are broken down.

I would like to "try" an oriental woman, a very tall woman, and anything else that I have not done out of lack of opportunity. Does that make me prejudiced or a racist? Of course not.

Kirk

Muncie IN
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We have to agree with Eanddp. VaLovers replies have always been reasonable and tempered. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but we don't feel that anyone needs to be lectured regarding their wants or desires in this venue nor do we feel the need to chastise anyone that posts something we don't agree with. All that seems to do is create ill feelings. No one agrees with everone 100% of the time. We should all be big enough to accept that and keep things in perspective.

Center Valley PA
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For the record, VALovers, I'm white. And I'm sorry you feel the need to turn discussion into name calling. I never called you, or anyone else, a racist.

You say that I injected race into this discussion, but I didn't start this thread seeking suggestions about "trying" a black man. Race was there, and I offered my perspective and suggestions on it. I undertand that you don't agree with my perspective, but yours is no more privileged than mine.

I obviously think that people of different races can and should have relationships -- sexual and otherwise. I also think that we should be able to talk about those relationships without devolving into name calling.

The last point I want to make in response to your post is simply that one can be affected by our country's history of white supremacy without being racist. You seemed to suggest that I was equating the two and that is most definitely not the case. Women of whatever color who seek "hung black studs," because of racial stereotypes, I would argue, are affected by that history. They may or may not be racist. Who knows?

Atlanta GA
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ok i can deal with that. just to me it seemed like you were condeming me for trying something different.

Sylmar CA
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Hottie, perhaps I don't understand what you mean by "the race card." You are the one who said that you want to "try" a black man -- isn't that the race card? Aren't profiles which seek "hung black studs" also raising the race card?

Look, I'm not trying to judge you for your fantasy or to deter you from it. I recognize that just about any conceivable fantasy is fair game on this site. As VALovers have stated, it's about exploration, and that's a good thing. I'm just suggesting that you give it some thought and act accordingly.

Atlanta GA
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Takoma, YOU are the only person on here who has played the race card. Instead of giving all of us a lecture about "asking ourselves the tough questions" about any interest in swinging with someone different from ourselves, perhaps YOU should be asking YOURSELF the tough questions about why your paranoia about racism is so affecting your perceptions about the rest of us. You are alleging a racist legacy in us that simply doesn't exist.

Just because you happen to be non-Causcasion, or married to one, does not give you a free pass to accuse the rest of us of racist or white supremacist thinking. Until you learn the difference between a swinger's site where people are simply looking for something different than what they have at home, and a real racist, then I don't care how much you "disagree" with us.

The only person I've seen in this whole thread with a racist attitude is YOU!

Not one person except YOU has played the race card here. All the rest of us were commenting solely about the different experience of being with someone different from us.

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: Hubby trying to convince me to try a blk gentlemen any suggestions