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Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner : Swingers Discussion 2166601011
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TOPIC: Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner
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"NSA sex is for self-centered, narcissistic hedonists as they go from one sexual conquest to another"

Or maybe it for those mature enough to separate love and sex. Perhaps you need feelings of love and affection from everyone you play with because it is sorely lacking at home, perhaps your cup will never be more then half empty because it full of holes and rather than fixing the cup you just keep pouring water into hoping and praying that someday you'll feel full. Perhaps you waste hours everyday flirting with everyone but your spouse, perhaps the spark in your relationship is so burnt out that the only light that shines is from a source outside your marriage. Perhaps your marriage is one of convenience and your needs simply aren't being met. Perhaps your "need" for emotions with playmates indicates your own personal unhappiness. Perhaps your ego is so incredibly frail . Perhaps you simply aren't comfortable with being a sexual being and therefore need justification in your own mind that it is soo much more than sex, it has to be for you to feel "clean".

Perhaps none of that is true or maybe all of it is .....I won't make a blanket statement pretending I know what motivates either type of sexual liaison...perhaps you might do the same.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Hot - Biscuit, Interesting and thought provoking! I agree.

Bonneau SC
 
 
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Well said Racer! You see through the painted veil. Most do not because they cannot or will not.

When we started swinging we tended to go for the "gusto". We didn't want to hang out with other swingers who preferred soft swap. Now we've changed our thinking. It's all about the mutual attraction and wanting that makes us feel alive and vital. We don't have to consummate attraction with intercourse to feel good. So we've opened up our world and expanded our network of friendships. We find that most satisfying. It's really important to "separate the wheat form the chaff here." We look carefully at soft swingers and if they are open and loving toward each other and are tolerant of friendship between the sexes and flirting then we feel comfortable with them. The separating the "wheat from the chaff" extends to full swap couples also. If you're more into friendship than sex you'll understand. We've all found full swap couples that have a pelvic mentality and it gets not further then that. Friendship and flirting between the sexes is a real threat and they concentrate on fucking. With us having sex with our friends is emotionally satisfying and just natural, because we like them as friends first and we recognize that they feel the same toward us.

If there is friendship, there are strings attached. I'm not talking about the NSA empty friendship often touted here; but the friendship that is knowledgeable, understanding and compassionate. These friendships we call "sustainable" because unlike "so call NSA friendships" they are enduring and extend to activities other than sex. We accept the whole person because we believe friendship is wholesome. We help our friends, we suffer with our friends and we provide support and encouragement when our friends need it. We welcome these strings. NSA sex is like drinking from a bottle. Once the contents are consumed, the vessel is discarded. NSA sex is for self-centered, narcissistic hedonists as they go from one sexual conquest to another.

Cape Coral FL
 
 
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I am calling complete bullshit on the NSA pure sex. You can only have NSA sex with the same person perhaps 3 times without it getting old, I say. No drama?? Well, you gonna have it if you deal with the public (job or Lifestyle) for sure, eventually. Why do some people think all drama is bad? Good drama is called intrigue! Intrigue enhances the sexual experience!! Most folks who are not use to dealing with lots of people on a daily basis in their jobs............THEY have a low-threshold for drama because they have NOT developed the social skills and finesse to massage an awkward moment or two. Even in the Animal Kingdom.........animals don't ever have sex with the same animal more than 5 times.............if the female does not provide an off-spring. Pure sex is boring after a couple of times with the same girl.........80% of all people are not very good at it anyways. If you are involved with a 3 some for years, it is because you enjoy their company for things other than sex. For a 3 some to workout for years, then either the man or the woman of the COUPLE has got to be Bi-sexual. It won't happen if they are not. The third person must be truly Bi-sexual as well.

Straight up, single women AND men are hell bent on finding THE ONE! Until they "check this off their list" ......this is what they are gonna be about. If you are gonna have a long term relationship with a single woman, then you gotta start dating her while she is still SOCIALLY STABLE ie. still married, it may take years for her to finally get around to having a divorce, then she will be on the market for 1 to 3 years, depending on how financially secure she is. If she has a sustainable $$$$ job, she can afford to stay on the market longer and will improve her chances of actually finding someone that she likes AND has money. If she has no money or pretty much a bullshit job and a bunch of kids..........you are probably not even gonna have a one night stand with her because she is TOTALLY hellbent on finding anybody who has a pulse and MONEY! If a woman is financially independent................well she can go have a relationship with anybody she damn well pleases, a woman or a man. I totally encourage women to be financially independent. It's called freedom! (Most men do NOT encourage this, no matter what they say.)

Young women in 20's want LOVE, 30's they want $$$$, 50's want sex, 60's want fun companionship, 70's will take any attention they can get, ........women in their 40's WANT IT ALL,.........love, sex, money.............Prince Charming!!! They feel it is their last chance to get the TRI-FECTA! While they still have some looks and overall something to offer..........BUT MOST LIKELY before they turn 50, they will settle for some dude that is in their 60's or 70's who has the MONEY.

Bonneau SC
 
 
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Only NSA for us. We do not want to complicate the fun with drama.

Spring TX
 
 
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34Rfun------That seems to be the way it goes. We can empathize with you. We had a very similar experience. But we do still shoot some crazy shit with her from time to time. Who knows........it will probably start up again always does...........when the new guy dumps her. But this one has an absolute crazy amount of $$$$ . So big trips are included in the "package" that she has been offered. She gonna ride it out for awhile. Hard to blame her. He maybe a great guy for all I know, but she never looks happy anymore, ever. We Kinda lost our motivation for her though........hah. who am I kidding, she's "got our number" and most likely always will, we are her "fallback" position suppose. Can't do nothing about it either, we were with a lot of girls last year (revenge fucking) and it still did not change how we felt about her. Oh well. Your situation will probably come around again when or if her current relationship ends. All the best to y'all.

Bonneau SC
 
 
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Yes, we have. We'd met each other's family, as friends do. We were close and shared what we called special love- more than a friend, but not on the same level as a spouse. When she would date a vanilla guy, however, she totally distanced herself from us. Hubby did so many repairs on her home, car etc, like he does for all our friends, swing and vanilla. When she met this last guy, nine days after knowing him, and two years into our friendship, she abruptly dumped us. No contact, talk, text, nothing. Cut us off from her kids. It was very painful for us both. We will never understand why she did this to us. Some suggest she had stronger feelings for hubby and could not reconcile that with having a boyfriend. We wanted all 4 of us to be friends, even giving up the sex. She would not allow it, shunning us. It hurt us both very badly, and we have since moved on, but would love an explanation. Hubby and she never played alone, always as a threesome. Anyone got any ideas, or is she bipolar?

Vandergrift PA
 
 
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Just like Gusher said...

Yep and now the three us consider ourselves married. Started as a FWB type thing but it escalated quickly

Sebastian FL
 
 
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Yes we both have. We have some Great Memories and always will carry them in our Hearts.

Sparta TN
 
 
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Over the years, my wife and I have discussed this subject and have come to these conclusions: For us, NSA sex occurs when we or either one is on travel and "lust just happens." Then it's over and we move on. On our home ground we never swing on a first date because our interest is in making friendships. Sometimes we're fooled and the door revolves...that's sad because we invest time and energy into developing an "expected" friendship that never materialized. We're sure that others have experienced the same...something like a developing friendship until "the apparent friends" score on you and it's off to new territory. We've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as NSA sex between friends, because whether those friends are of same sex or opposite sex there are feelings of attraction (not necessary sexual - you just enjoy being in their company), admiration, and respect. For us true friendships really begin when we are having fun in non-sexual events. And we're confident we've found a friend when they are comfortable accepting and giving a lending hand when in need. We all have a need to feel valued and that's what friends give without coveting another's spouse. We honor each other marriages and we have a role to play in making our friends marriages more exciting, romantic and dynamic.

Cape Coral FL
 
 
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TOPIC: Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner