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Finding single males that will show up : Swingers Discussion 228328
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FORUMSGeneral Discussions3-SomeFinding single males that will show up
TOPIC: Finding single males that will show up
Created by: bardscouple119
Original Starting post for this thread:
Wife would like to build up to have 3 males at once but seems impossible on here seeing how the single males are not dependable at showing up! Any thoughts or ideas?

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Its always advisable to talk, to be on cam and then make a friendship before anyone for fun.. Anyways, I'd be punctual and would be a guaranteed to turn up once we talk and agree .. Be cool and chilled and organised and make a careful decision after understanding the way a guy talks and then it would be a great time.. ! Do not forget to send me a note so that I could come and make you happy - lol..

Richmond VA
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Part of tis process is feeling out one another (both parties) as to sincerity, personality, goals, etc.... With time, through chatting or email or phone, people can build a little connection. The true test is in a casual first meeting. getting people to show up is a problem, but if we choose to use this format in meeting others, its the risk that has to be taken.

Naples FL
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I agree that this site is not the be-all end-all of places to meet single males...heck, just go to a bar in any college town and chances are you will find a willing guy or two (that's how I got my start in the lifestyle!). Not a slam against this site, but other "Vanilla" dating sites have some pretty sophisticated tools to drill down to your interests.

That being said, I think the golden rules for meeting anyone on this site seem to be: 1) Location - The more time you have in transit, the less likely you are to show up, or find that "something came up" 2) Certifications! - if the person (or people) showed up once before, there is a good chance they can be counted on again 3) Have a plan besides sex - Going to a lifestyle party would definitely fall under this category, so if they don't show up you can still salvage a fun night.

I've also met a few couples who arrange a "plan B," or a sexual understudy in case the original SM doesn't show up. Obviously this isn't very fair to the backup guy, but as long as everyone is on the same page I guess there is not that much to complain about.

I've been lucky enough to meet some great couples on here and I have yet to be stood up (knock on wood). Good luck in finding some compatible (and reliable) people!

Brooklyn NY
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Go to your local Club and ask the Doorman/Salesman/Bouncer for the identities of the single stub male professionals. Contact them if you want a real single male swinger who can perform. Ignore the desperates who send you emails here on SLS; more often than not, they are not qualified.

The Former Single Male Previously Known as Uriah

Memphis TN
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Take your time and do a little research, meet first for coffee etc and, basically interview them (I go thru this now and then does not bother me) anyway build a list of reliable guys that way

Austin TX
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Bards - keep up the search, we are here and we show up too. There are a few really good GB groups in this area that can satisfy your desires. If you ever make it to Philly let me know and I'll help you for sure.

South Harrison Township NJ
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There are couples who organize GB's here on SLS in the NY/NJ area. That's your best bet for a good result. Otherwise, get to know a member of our military forces - they have clean bodies, filthy minds and a barracks-full of friends.


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Not having read your profile I would dare say that some guys get "scared off" by the concept of a mini gang bang. Lots of guys are comfortable with one other guy, but with more than one other guy it makes it much harder to think you're going to enjoy yourself as much unless you're just into gang bangs or there's bi play going on. As your profile lists your male as straight, it's a reasonable expectation that bi play isn't on the table.

Performance anxiety is present for a lot of people, even in one on one situations, add a lot of spectators or "competition" (size, stamina, technique, whatever) and you will find your pool of viable candidates diminishes significantly.

Add to that the fact that many people feel that sort of activity is "demeaning" or want it to be (I have no idea if that's your thing or not) and it even further limits your selection options whether you like demeaning or not.

Keep at it... there are those out there that do enjoy what you want. When you find them, you'll really enjoy your time.

Herndon VA
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I agree with Iflirt that you may want to chat more with the men before you arrange a meet. But I don't see anything in your profile that would suggest to me that you aren't serious or aren't both "into it".

I do think it will take some time. Probably you will need to find men to play in a threesome first (or perhaps just with her one on one if you are comfortable with that - yes I know, not what you want but one way to remove an unknown). I think a lot of men could get cold feet about a MMFM foursome, cold turkey, though they might not admit it in chatting. The bluster can be pretty thick at times

Trust me there are men on here who are reliable, serious about meeting, and mature/courteous enough not to feign interest where there isn't any. I think if you get to know them more by chatting/camming for a while you could weed out some flakes. I have a single purpose account on Y-hoo that I use only for further chatting with and emailing people I meet on this site and others . The video messenger is private and works quite well.

Take your time and best of luck to you. Hopefully you will find your high quality group that will be worth the wait.

Wenatchee WA
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Do you both chat with each guy you are interested in and make him feel comfortable with both of you? Often a solo man will think that one of you may not be as hot for a 3some as the other is. He will get cold feet or decide it's not worth his gas or time to come meet you if you don't seem like a sure thing. You must both convince him that if everyone is comfy and the vibes are good at the 1st meetup, it's more than likely that you will both be good to go. You are the couple and you have all the power.

Also, the choice of where you meet can affect things. Mutually choose a place where none of you are known and where no one you (or he) knows is likely to see him (and you) together and later gossip about it. Nice sports bars are great places to meet. 2 men and 1 woman at the bar, a table or a booth usually won't raise eyebrows or make tongues wag LOL.

3rdly, don't limit yourselves to just this site. There are plenty of other sites full of men seeking couples. Place ads there or choose and respond to ads which appeal to you both.

Kennesaw GA
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TOPIC: Finding single males that will show up