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CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them : Swingers Discussion 1444991051
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TOPIC: CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them
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I agree with all of those statements. Let me add the well known saying:

Women use sex to get intimacy, men use intimacy to get sex.

Poland OH
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In closed relationships I also believe men and women cheat for different reasons.

While its all wrong.

Here's another controversial statement that I'm becoming famous for starting up here.

If you're talking solely about "keeping a marriage together". A man cheats to keep his marriage. A woman cheats to plan her exit.

A man cheats because he feels a lack of sex. a woman cheats because she feels an emotional disconnect.

When a man cheats he is seeking the sex that he used to have. A women is seeking the romance and emotional connection that she used to have.

Its a complex issue all the way around.

Mount Juliet TN
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Cheating = dishonesty. What you just described isn't cheating. Your previous post stated that if you didn't have the green light, each of you would do it anyway. That is where the criticism is coming from. I guess it is just fortunate that you both agree to be totally open. Have you discussed the possibility that at some point in the future one of you may change their mind? If she told you tomorrow that she didn't want you to play without prior consent and you found yourself in the situation you described, would you cheat?

Poland OH
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I don't condone dishonesty one bit. I do think that having an open relationship can be beneficial for some couples. It can be detrimental to others I realize.

I look at friends and family in relationships and a lot of times see jealousy and suspicion. Constantly wondering who the other is texting. Who the hell is so and so on Facebook? Why didn't you answer your phone while you were out? You're going out with some guys/girls?

My wife goes camping a couple times a year where there are tons of guys her age. They all drink. Stay up late. I don't go because I have to stay for work. I know when she drinks she gets horny. So you have her drinking. Shirtless young hot horny guys. 1000 miles from me. Bad cell service. The perfect opportunity for something to "just happen" and I would never find out. That would drive me nuts if we didn't have the relationship we do. Ill bet it would have the mind racing for most people no matter how trusting they are.

Lucky for me. I don't have that problem since she has the green light to do it if she wants. I even like and hope she does. Instead of being home worrying if she is doing something, I'm getting turned on thinking maybe she is.

If I were a jealous guy, my wife and I would not be compatible. Not because I believe she would cheat. But she gets so much attention, and has so much opportunity that it would be hard not to suspect.

That would cause problems.

Now think if the situation were reversed and think if it were a guy spending a weekend with a bunch of drunk girls. First, how many guys with their significant other having no chance of finding out, would hold their ground and turn down one or more hot horny women? How many women back home would be totally trusting and comfortable with their man in that situation?

How many people who did find themselves in that situation who actually turned it down now have some resentment at home? "If I weren't attached, I could have".......

Yes none of those feelings or thoughts would exist in a perfect storybook relationship. But in the real world they do.

In our case. Having a sexually open relationship is healthy. It removes the cheating and jealousy aspects from our marriage. And both of those are major contributors to couples splitting.

So by making my comment a few posts ago. It could have been worded different. Ill rephrase by saying that we openly discussed maintaining. An open SEXUAL relationship before we got married not because one or both were "guaranteed to cheat" but because we both feel the same way towards sex, and if we decided to take the monogamy route, then we would have to deal with if not cheating. suspicion or resentment.

We see it in other peoples relationships.

We're glad its not in ours.

Mount Juliet TN
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Joey we have the same type of relationship and its works very well for us. Yet just because we are married and don't always play together some people think its cheating. Not everyone can do it for whatever reason but its there choice and for us its not cheating.

Vicksburg MS
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Nic that was perfect

Augusta NJ
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Not sure what you mean.

We were swinging before we got married and decided it was something we both liked and would continue to do.

We're totally committed to eachother. We have a relationship that a lot of people could only wish for. Never argue, never fight, Ive never even raised my voice towards my wife.

The only thing with us is that we are open sexually. We both like taking advantage of opportunities so we're open with eachother about it. Theres no secrets, nothing going on without the other knowing, and we always come home to eachother.

Mount Juliet TN
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Monogamy may be a societal institution but cheating is still a breach of trust with someone you purportedly love. You may think you are thumbing your nose at society but the truth is, you are betraying the one person who least deserves it.

Poland OH
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I don't think my comment is all that shocking. I have a pretty long explanation for it That I'll post later. But in summary I believe that people are sexually monogamous because of society. And that it is actually contrary to nature.

Mount Juliet TN
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Unbelievable.

Whitehouse Station NJ
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TOPIC: CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them