115
CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them : Swingers Discussion 1444991031
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral Discussions3-SomeCHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them
TOPIC: CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them
GoTo Page: Less ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ... More 
Start   31 to 40 of 457   End
User Details are only visible to members.
Butterfly I made no assumption you were married or cheating. The TOPIC is CHEATING and my comments reflect my thoughts about CHEATERS. My reference and use of the word YOU should be clarified to read YOU who are CHEATING.

Don't personalize it please.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
Username hidden
(5501 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
-The only issue was to stay married or get divorced. The issue was raised with the judge.

Right... that's the "contested" part. Unless there are extraordinary extenuating circumstances, both parties have the opportunity to have their say in front of the judge and the judge made a decision.

- Are the cheaters seeking anything different?

Uh... yeah. It's the difference between "Hey, can I borrow your car?" and "I'll just take this thing for a joy ride. Nobody will know the difference as long as I don't get caught."

-Does anybody ask the person who is cheating for a reason or justification? Would it matter?

Why should it matter? If cheating ended in divorce, than the cheater probably expected that up front. They wanted the freedom to cheat AND the security and benefits of a marriage. They can't have it both ways.

-Isn't every one on here outside the mainstream of society? Though there are a few who are proud enough, well adjusted enough, rich enough that they can show their face and flaunt to all comers that I (we) are swingers; what we represent isn't accepted by the society of our nation as a whole. Yet many draw the line at cheaters. Why?

Ah, yes... the boring old "swingers are no better than cheaters because we're all breaking society's rule, so quit picking on cheaters" argument.

Here's our reason. I don't lie to my wife and she doesn't lie to me. We came to the lifestyle after discussion and agreement. We hurt no one and we respect each other in the decisions we make in the lifestyle.

Cheaters, by definition, are lying to their partners (either actively or passively). They have decided that their sexual gratification is more important than being honest with their partner, and are they willing to risk hurting their partner (financially, socially and/or emotionally) for their own personal pleasure.

Columbia MD
Username hidden
(1280 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"Why is it a requirement to be married, divorced, widowed or single to be in the life style?"

Married> A committed couple where both parties agree to the terms of the swinging relationship. Divorced > A free agent with no commitment , physical or emotional ties to another Widowed> A free agent with no commitment , physical or emotional ties to another Single> A free agent with no commitment , physical or emotional ties to another

Cheater> A married person who of their own discretion seeks sex outside of the marriage thru lies .

Seems pretty basic to me why one would draw "the line in the sand" You mention people expecting respect of others and I completely agree that respect is paramount but if you can not, will not or don't respect your partner why would I presume you'd have any respect for me, my partner or my relationship? You mention that no one asks WHY? Why would they? If your relationship is broken, fix it. If it's not fixable get out. Not that simple you say ? No one said commitment was simple. Cheating and Swinging are no synonymous, they are 2 distinctly different situations. Swinging involves open communication by all parties involved. Just because your wife is not there does no mean she is not part of the equation or should have no say and due to that simple fact you are not swinging you are cheating.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
Username hidden
(5501 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
LOL...Best way to avoid the divorce ....don't cheat..LOL

Covington LA
Username hidden
(123 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
ButterflyArtist, welcome to the Forums. It's always good to read another voice here. I hope you have a great time!

Sheboygan Falls WI
Username hidden
(9044 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
that would depend on what they got caught doing and it may not be an option.

Vicksburg MS
Username hidden
(491 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
-My experience is that divorce was a dictatorship. It was imposed. No discussion. No options.

While one partner may decide "I want a divorce," the other partner has SOME say in the proceedings. They can contest the divorce, negotiate for property or visitation rights or try to arrange some reconciliation. They obviously aren't required, and may decide fighting the divorce isn't worth it, but that's still their option.

If there were no discussion or no options, there wouldn't be any divorce attorneys and half of the gossip magazines would be empty of content.

In a cheating situation, the cheating partner controls everything. The other person involved doesn't get a say because they are usually completely in the dark.

Columbia MD
Username hidden
(1280 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"My experience is that divorce was a dictatorship. It was imposed. No discussion. No options. " and ........ "I am curious. Why get divorced rather than cheat?

Perhaps the answer lies in the question

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
Username hidden
(5501 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
-If cheating is disrespecting the vows, what is divorce doing?

Divorce is a bilateral decision/acknowledgment that the marriage (and the vows) are no longer working. Both parties may not necessarily agree or like it, but they at least have some input in to what is going on.

If someone is cheating, they are making all of those decisions and imposing them on the other person without giving them any say in the matter.

Kind of like the difference between a democracy and a dictatorship.

Columbia MD
Username hidden
(1280 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Ouch! Did she find out her husband was meeting with a couple which included a bi-curious male?

White Hse Sta NJ
Username hidden
(4489 posts)
GoTo Page: Less ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ... More 
Start   31 to 40 of 457   End
TOPIC: CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them