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A little bit of advice for an inexperienced woman : Swingers Discussion 2106821031
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TOPIC: A little bit of advice for an inexperienced woman
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It really isn't a moral issue with me. I spend a lot of time on webcam chat sites and am nude a lot. And I use my toys on cam and have sex with my husband on cam for others to watch. It is more of a nervousness due to never having done it before with anyone. There is a lot of insecurity about am I going to be good enough. Everyone says it is just sex and I don't know what just sex is because I have never had "just sex." I was in a committed relationship before telling my husband who was my boyfriend at the time that I changed my mind about waiting until I was married. We have been to several house parties and frequent a couple of swing clubs in the area and no one has ever overstepped our boundaries. We do hang with a core group of full swap couples and we all have a great time but my husband and I are with each other and no one else with the exception of light touching.

As far as the certs go. I could ask them to be reworded but the fun times they were talking about was hanging out, dancing, getting painted by the body painter. They were first timers to the club we frequent. We introduced them to some of the couples we have met there and several members of the core group we hang out with. We do have a great group of people that have always had fun with us and respected our rules.

New Albany IN
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losamantes, as half of a soft swap couple with some very hot, fun, explosively sexy times with other couples under my belt, I have to respectfully disagree with you. It is entirely possible for even "wild" couples to have fun with soft swappers, as long as everyone understands and accepts the limits before anything begins.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Seems like you are still hung up on the "Thou shall not commit adultry thing", this would seem to explain why you feel uneasy about having sex with someone other than your husband.

Try viewing it from this point of view; You are NOT commiting adultry. You ARE having sex/cleaving to only your husband. The other guy is simply a TOY your husband is using on you. Do you feel any uneasiness if your husband uses a vibrator on you? Probably not. Because even though it's not your husbands dick in you, you still view the experience as "sex with your husband".

What if you husband requested you use the vibrator on yourself and he just watched? Again, you most likely have no moral qualms about this (even if you do feel odd by doing it).

Again, what if you husband is away and calls you on the phone & says to use the vibrator on yourself and either let him listen or tell him about it later. Any guilt? No, because it's stilll sex with your husband, vicarious sex yes, but still FOR him.

If he brings you another guy for a 3 way, or just to screw, he is simply having vicarious sex with YOU and you with him. The other guy may enjoy himself, but he's just a tool (cool pun huh). You enjoyong having sex with another guy at your husbands request should make you feel no more guilty than enjoying having sex with a vibrator at his request.

You do not even remotely cross any moral lines, in our opion, unless you have sex with the other guy to the EXCLUSION of your husband. Refusing to have sex with your husband and retreating to your room to use a vibrator on yourself is also morally wrong, wouldn't you agree, even though there is no other person involved?

If your husband says "do this, enjoy this, it pleases me", you are behaving morally with respect to him. If he says "don't do this, it displeases me" and you do it anyway, then you may be commiting a moral breach.

But honestly, if he WANTS you to enjoy sex with another guy, you have done nothing remotely wrong, especially if you simply view it as vicarious sex with your husband. Do not feel even SLIGHTLY guilty by enjoying yourself. To NOT enjoy yourself would be the insult to your husband.

Benton AR
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fjep, "They showed us a great time" and "Certainly know how to have fun" coming from wild couples is code for, well you know...

Virginia Beach VA
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From reading profile it looks like they like to play in public with each other not with others. I would suggest that you find someone who knows upfront what is going on and then take it slowly. Grab/touch through pants, underwear and then the real deal. The other poster was right once you have it in your hand you will know what to do.

The other post is correct as well you need to get your head in the right place before you can play. Sex is sex and love is love and they do not have to go hand and hand. You should have respect with the sex you have with a playmate but not love. You need to make sure that your upfront and honest from the get go and leave it alone if your not able to separate the two. If you think you can go for it and see what happens. You also have to realize that not everyone will have chemistry so don't be upset if it's not fireworks. You did not get with your husband and know all of the buttons to push in one night.

Lancaster NY
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" Your certs seem to indicate that you have had some full swap encounters in contrary to what your profile says, kind of confusing... "

I saw nothing in their certs to indicate there were full swap encounters.

Sanford NC
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"Are there any tips to help with the little bit of anxiety?"

Just find a guy you like, who isn't pushy and who understands that it needs to warm up according to your schedule, not his. Easy.

Belle Chasse LA
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Umm... "soft swap/soft swing/no kissing" may cause some complications. If it's still a challenge for you to differentiate between love and sex I strongly recommend holding off on any playing until you get your head straight. There is the potential for irreparable damage to your relationship with your spouse if you get emotionally attached to a playmate. Falling for a playmate is probably one of the most toxic things that can happen in the lifestyle; right up there with getting a STD. Your certs seem to indicate that you have had some full swap encounters in contrary to what your profile says, kind of confusing...

Virginia Beach VA
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Wow. I have to say that sounds exciting for you. If you explain your frame of mind, that you just want to experience touching some penises, that will probably add to those guys' excitement. If you're like most women, handling them will make you want to do other things with them.

Flat Rock NC
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This is Mrs.Phoenixxx here. We have been discussing a MFM 3some. Ultimately it is going to happen because we both think it is going to be a great time. The issue is there is a little anxiety for me about being with another man other than my husband. Everyone in the lifestyle says there is a difference between sex and love but for me that is not the case. I was a virgin when I met my husband and have never touched another man's penis. I have been given homework from my husband to touch other penises which I will be doing this weekend at a club. Are there any tips to help with the little bit of anxiety?

New Albany IN
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TOPIC: A little bit of advice for an inexperienced woman