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TOPIC: sex & love
Created by: 2inLoveinPA The original post for this thread was deleted.
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When I was younger (teen, 20's) I couldn't separate the two very well. I THOUGHT I could, but after I had sex with someone I felt as if I didn't want to just be viewed as someone who "put out". I at least wanted the guy to care about me in some way. The only reason I had meaningless sex at that age was because I didn't have a boy-friend, and I wanted to have sex. I really longed for a loving relationship and didn't want the random sexual encounters...they were better than nothing sometimes. (Some of the sex was worse than nothing!)

It's different now for a couple of reasons. I already have a main relationship (husband) and lots of love, so I am not needing that from other men. I have also had enough meaningless sex to be able to separate the two things.

However...I admit that even though meaningless sex is lots of fun, I would rather we were with just one or two other couples and that the other people actually cared about us, and that we cared about them. I'm not saying I want the other man to be in love with me, just care about me warmly as a friend would. Must have something to do with being a female, because I still like sex better with people who care about me vs. random sex. But some of that is pretty nice, too. --Jen

Reading PA
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When we first got into the lifestyle we "dated" a couple for a few months. We saw only them, this caused us to develope some deep feelings for them and caused heartache down the road. We learned a valuable lesson from it. Now we develope friendships with our playmates and keep the deep feelings only for each other. It can be difficult sometimes but we love each other deeply and only play to enhance our relationship. We make love to each other we play with everyone else. Anyone want to play???

Licks n nibbles R & K

Muncy PA
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Just another quick thought...I was reading some jokes here at the forum and someone used the term "cum-dumpster" to describe sex with a gold digging woman who he felt deserved to be used. Okay, it's a joke, it's just that as a woman you know some men have that mentality towards women. I would never knowingly have sex with someone who viewed me this way. I don't think many women have ever thought of men in a similar way (as a human dildo, for example) and most men really wouldn't care anyhow. That's the difference between women and men!

Reading PA
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Wouldn't touch that post w/ a 2" pecker!

Willow Grove PA
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I am a women and yes i view the men and women we play with as toys. Yes their cock is a toy for me to use and return. We as a couple reserve kissing to ourselves and we do not kiss members of the opposite sex. This give us a variable on the sex and love thing. we save kissing for our love making. it has made it easier to keep our playmates as playmates. we have developed some awsome playmate and friends. we have become very close with a few couples but it isn't love by any means.

Bridgeport PA
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I haven't had an jealousy issues. In fact it was me the mrs who suggested the lifestyle. Sometimes I think it is more the fact that people think this sounds like good erotic fun and it is. Just some people shouldn't be involved in this lifestyle. Those who have the jealousy issues and insecurities and those who cannot seperate the two. The fact is if you cannot get past those feelings man or women. you have to get out of the lifestyle. you must remeber you cannot bring your issues into another couples bedroom that would not be good. The burden here lies with the husband in this case. If you wife feels that way maybe you are not giving here the sense of devotion and security it takes to survive the way we live and remain happy in our marriages. I think men should always think its a women thing. Its just because she is a women. 90 percent of the wives in this lifestyle will tell you they don't have these problems feelings or thaughts. Maybe the problem lies in some of the husbands. Maybe its time for you to do alittle soul searching. Its easier to blame the other. Maybe you need to figure she cannot handle this and you should walk away because after all this is an enhancer and it obviously isn't doing that. Not that I know you so you do as you choose. Good Luck.

Bridgeport PA
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Of course love and sex are two seperate issues. Sex isn't love, sex is lust. Ask anyone who married over lust if they're happy now.

Bedford PA
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I agree with livewire68 on this issue he is 100% right on this . I have personal experience on this issue with my ex-wife.She said she loved me but when times got tough she left and said it was because she was trying to help our finacial situation. But leaving was the wrong thing to do she should have toughed it out with me and supported me like i had always done for her. P.S. to add to it she ( after leaving to help the situation) then tried to file for marital support . jeeeeezzzzz add insult to injury why don't you . that just tells you how much she really cared huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but to finalize the story she lost and the judge said she would never be able to file for it again because he really didn't like her. lol

Alton IA
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I know exactlty what you mean Chuck. My ex loved me so much that she left me for 3 guys. We were part of the lifestyle, but I think she took it too far and grew feelings for these guys and then she began to forget about the person who cared for and loved her most.....me. Luckily now I'm with a wonderful lady who knows what she's got and is willing to be part of the lifestyle without any worries of her going home with someone else.

Quakertown PA
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TOPIC: sex & love