115
Cancel at the last minute or don't show up : Swingers Discussion 36428
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSEventsPennsylvaniaCancel at the last minute or don't show up
TOPIC: Cancel at the last minute or don't show up
Created by: carefree_in_PA
Original Starting post for this thread:
Do a lot of people make plans then cancel at the last minute or don't show up? Is this part of being in this lifestyle? This has happened to us several times and we are frustrated by it. Why do people make contact with you, make plans to meet, then cancel at the last minute or not show? Then you never hear from them again. Do they receive joy out of doing this to couples? Just wondering if it happens a lot to others. It seems to happen to us more often than not. The people that really have met and played with us say we are a fun couple. We are just wondering if it’s us or them. Love to hear from you. Sharon and Steve
GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 16   End
User Details are only visible to members.
You guys are right. Sometimes life happens, last minute emergencies, responsibilities, the no se ums all come up and rears its ugly head at times. If it is a blow off u will know it by the lack of communication after the date, but if that person/ppl tries very hard to make it up to you, explains the situation and honestly feels bad that x, y, and z happens then I feel as though they should be given another shot. If someone cancels on me once I chalk it up to a legit excuse, however if we constantly make plans and something comes up on ur part or i hear a lot of "Yeah we will get together soon." Then I am going to get the message and seek someone who will appreciate my friendship and my knowledge of the sacred Korean Tongue Kick trick, lol.

Lancaster PA
 
 
Username hidden
(157 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Wasn't this thread just done a few months back? We have learned early in the lifestyle that a lot of couples do have families and things do happen, sometimes at the last minute and if they are sincere in wanting to meet you, you will hear from them again and make new arrangements. The ones that get us is you speak to both of the couple on the phone, prior to meeting and then you are on your way driving an hour and a half to meet, getting half way there and turning around because you cannot get them on the phone, then almost being back home when the phone rings saying that one half didn't want to follow through? Those are the ones that get you, if you are not sure and do not have a secure relationship, what on earth would you be looking for on a swinger's site? We have only had to cancel once, and that was due to the male half being sick and I made him cancel--our plan is we make a plan we stick with it, but we also do not have the confinements any longer of smaller children.

Johnstown PA
 
 
Username hidden
(12037 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We've had folks cancel on us too, no big deal, shit happens suddenly, especialy when folks have young children.

Our story is the very first meeting we had in the lifestyle left us sittin at the local Sheetz waitin on em. Never let us know, just left us sit. Next day we get a email with an emergency reason, which we could understand, but to not even email or call to let us know??? Well they talked us into another meeting (boy, were we green!!!), and damned if they didn't do the same thing to us again.

We sure went to school that day!

Bedford PA
 
 
Username hidden
(5527 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Sometimes life happens. I can understand that life happens and things arise which make you unable to make a playdate. We have had a few occasions having 4 kids. Seems life shit happens everyday. We enjoy our playmate and playtime but they are secondary to life.

What happens in return sometimes irks me. Sometimes you have things happen and people say your fake and get down right rude. Well it's their loss. I figure we were better off then and the incident that cause a cancelation saved us a potentially unpleasant experience.

We have never been stood up so I cannot say I know what we would do then. We have had cancelations and we met at later date and was worth the waite. Made it all the more better thinking bout it longer hehehehe. Those who have just disappeared are no big deal either. There isn't a shortage of people to enjoy. Saves us time and energy.

Bridgeport PA
 
 
Username hidden
(12773 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I got one for you guys. This happend almost 10 years ago. My wife and I had meet a couple on IRC (This was even before AIM and the like). We talked with them on-line for a while, exchanged email and pictures, talked on the phone, the whole 9 yards.

We lived in Lower Bucks County, they lived near Pittsburgh. We kept talking, and decided that we would drive out to Pittsburgh for either Memorial Day weekend or Labor Day weekend. I don't remember which. We talked with them Friday night and confirmed everything, got up early Sat. Morning and started the 8 hour drive to Pittsburgh.

The couple told us that it was kind of complicated to get to their place, and gave us directions to meet them at a Restaurant. Yea, I know, that should have set off the alarms. We know better now :)

So, as we get close to Pittsburgh, we pull into a rest area and I give them a call. Their not home, so I leave them a message on their answering machine. Get back on the road, get into Pittsburgh and go to the designated meeting location. Call them again. No answer. Wait 30 minutes and try again. No answer. Get dinner, try calling an hour later. Still no answer.

Have any of you tried finding a hotel room in a strange town on a Saturday of a Holiday Weekend? It ain't fun, I'll tell you that. So we got a room and crashed. Tried calling Sunday morning. One of her kids answered the phone and said she was in the shower and asked if I could call back in 30 min. Said sure, and gave the kid my name when he asked. Called back in 30 min. Guess what? No answer.

Gave up at that point in time, and drove home. Since then, we'll only drive a hour max to meet somebody.

Decatur GA
 
 
Username hidden
(58 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Pretty much, we agree with what's already been posted. We've had to cancel on meetings twice because of a sick child and a change in work schedule. And we've also been cancelled on once, also because of a change in work schedule of the other couple. We always ask for and give a phone number so that we can confirm things either the night before or the day of the meeting. Also, we always plan a "non-sexual" first meeting with any couple. That way, if we got stood up, we could still have a nice dinner or drinks and dancing or whatever. And if they do show, we can always move on to more "sexy" stuff later if we all agree. We're really new to this, but so far we've had good experiences. Just our 2 cents. April and Bill

Troy PA
 
 
Username hidden
(113 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Hello!! We have been very lucky becuase we can't recall a no show' by any couples we have agreed to meet with.. we have no kids at home so it is easier for us... anyone who has ever cancelled has ALWAYS called us or sent an email with their regrets and we set up a second date...carefree there are real sincere people out there...keep trying!!!!!! Be carefull and be safe and sane out there !!!! Jeff n Dot

New Columbia PA
 
 
Username hidden
(1405 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Nothing can be more rude then not calling or not showing up. By all means have the decency to pick up the phone and call at your earliest convenience. We have friends that have left the lifestyle just because of the fact people don't show or call. Its a shame because now we no longer have the sex benefit with them...but we do and always will have the friendship. Inconsiderate people should not be in the lifestyle but they are. They are in all walks of life...I guess we just have to be careful in the screening process and hope that we have a good feeling about all the potential people we are going to meet. We agree with the family comes first thing. We have guardianship of my Mentally challenged sister and its not always easy to find a sitter for her. Because of this we find it necessary to entertain at home, more often then not. Most people have understood that and have been more then willing to meet us here. I guess we have been lucky, in the screening process. R & K

Muncy PA
 
 
Username hidden
(2913 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
As this does happen for different reasons in the lifestyle that couples cancel at the last minute due to babysitters, sickness, etc., the phrase family does and always should come first works. If they are truly serious about meeting you, they will plan to reschedule; if you never hear from them again, then you know they were never serious about it in the first place. For the people who just have no disregard for others, what comes around goes around. We make it a point upon scheduling any potential meets (even if it is only for a drink) we state very clearly that unless we confirm the day of the meeting via phone--and talking with BOTH of the couple that day, then we know whether they intend on showing up. Luckily we have only had two last minute cancellations, and in those cases we never heard from them again, so they were never true in meeting in the first place. Thus the phrase, never have any expectations in this lifestyle.

Johnstown PA
 
 
Username hidden
(12037 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We have heard many of these stories, and for that reason, we have decided that our first meetings will always be at Meet and Greets, or at a swingclub. We understand that some won't attend either of those for their own reasons and we respect that. We just eliminate them as potential playmates. It is not a judgement on them, or how they function in the lifestyle, it is just a realization that their MOS is such that it does not fit well with ours. There were a couple of couples that copped an attitude because we would not bend our parameters to meet them, which reinforced our feelings that we were probably better off not having met them anyway. There is no right or wrong, but it works for us.

Morgantown PA
 
 
Username hidden
(1430 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 16   End
TOPIC: Cancel at the last minute or don't show up