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Single Man’s Guide To The Lifestyle

Single Man’s Guide to the Lifestyle
By NYCSingleM
Please write and share your thoughts


There’s a niche for every person in any subculture. The role of the single man in the Lifestyle is one that can be fun, difficult unwelcomed by many and sometimes just impossible. I can’t tell you when I became involved in the Lifestyle, I think technically I never did.

I have rarely risked anything. I have had a few girlfriends, three probably, that I have been involved with that were. Carole, Heather and Elaine. Of the three only Carole ever did a full swap. Heather and Elaine dappled in their bi side. Of the three I only put myself at risk with Elaine, who I had very deep feelings of love and had planned to marry.

So I never risked letting the ugly jealous side of me out because I never allowed another man be with a woman I cared for. Because lets face facts here if you let another man fuck your woman you are taking the risk that she might realize there’s better cock out there.

This is important for every single man trying to break in to the Lifestyle to understand. You are bringing nothing to the table. You are risking nothing emotionally. So you can never be truly a part of the Lifestyle and for that reason you will always be an outsider and by definition outsiders are not welcomed.

So what is a man to do? Well I am 46 years old. When I was 21 I went to a sex club with Carole who was then 19. I wasn’t experienced at all sexually. She was fucking men in their thirties and probably forties. As a friend once told me, every at 21 is hot. I was no exception. I had a great fresh body and Carole was 19 so you can imagine the reception we got when we walked in to the club and stripped.

Neither of us was scared and we jumped right into the mix. In fact we were the mix. Women were literally lining up to suck my tender young cock. Carole had men and women lined up to eat her out. I remember we climbed the stairs to the second floor. At the top of the stairs there was a long narrow hallway with semi private rooms off of it. I was wearing a white towel and she was in her bra and panties. A man timidly reached up and touched her back and when the others saw she wasn’t objecting five other men and women started to touch her.
At the end of the hallway I made eye contact with a beautiful naked woman. She walked directly towards me and kissed me. I put my hand on her ass she dropped my towel and stroked me. I looked over at Carole who was now completely surrounded.

I leaned over and asked, “ Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah.”

The naked women looked at Carole and suggested we take one of the rooms. We walked in and her husband sat in the corner playing with himself trying to get hard. The woman was blowing me Carole on all four crawled over to him and tried her best to get him hard. No luck. She came back and joined us. I remember looking up at the doorway. There was a crowd, a really big crowd watching us. I remember thinking how cool it was to be having my first three way.

The fun went on from there. When we got home at 4 or 5 in the morning it had occurred to me; Carole and I never actually fucked each other that night.

Anyway that was 25 years ago and since then I have had something like ten MFFs , probably ten more MFMs and countless one on one sessions with their husbands blessings. Since then I have gained fifty pounds lost my six-pack abs and accepted that I have been replaced by younger studs. This really set in a few summers ago when Carole, now 43, stopped fucking me in favor of men in their 20’s. At least our final threesome was fun. It was in 2004, me, her and some 19 year old tiny Puerto Rican girl we met at Sandy Hook that afternoon.

But this is supposed to an advice essay. So for all you single guys trying to break into the Lifestyle here is what I have to say. Don’t think that you will be able to do it over night. It takes a long time to build a reputation. The internet might work for some of you. The couples I have met over the years tell me they have little to no luck with the men on these sites. Much like the women you probably meet on dating sites, have nothing going for them.

Here’s a fact for you. I have gotten laid more from Match.com than SLS or adult friend finder. Including one woman that went to a club with me three times.

Read one hundred couples profiles and what will you see? 99 of them are looking for single men that are gentlemen. Do you know what that means? That means no backward baseball caps. No frat boys. No pushing-your-finger-into-her-pussy-before-you-even-get-to-the-bar guys. Take a shower, shave put on an ironed shirt. Be polite and respect their relationship. It’s not about you, it’s about his wife being treated like a woman.

This is how I was accepted into the scene. I was at Hedonism in 1998 and was polite and respectful towards everyone. At the end of the week a couple from Philly that owned a club handed me their card. They saw how nice I was and wanted me at their club to service the couples.

Remember also that not all couples like single men. In fact allot will freak out on you. A lot will scream at you and some will even feel so threatened that they might get physical. A few years ago I at Hedo and met a wonderful couple from California Judy and Mike. They were there with four other couples. Judy, Mike and I went scuba diving together and spent some quality time together. One afternoon Mike found me on the beach and asked me if I found Judy attractive. I knew what he was really asking.

Mike and Judy were always a full swap couple. No single men ever, but they were ready to try. She thought I was cute and felt safe with me. I told him I was certainly up for it if they were. I wouldn’t do anything until he gave me the cue though.

That night the resort put n the big beach party. Tiki torches buffets bonfire. Judy saw me arrive and invited me to join the table. Me her, Mike and the four other couples they were traveling with. Somewhere around dessert Judy was rubbing my cock now and then under the table. Mike saw it and was getting turned on by it. After a few minutes Mike excused himself and went to the bar. Judy and I were getting a bit cozier looking each other in the eyes when a hand slapped my face hard.

One of the women from one of the other couples lost it on me.

“Get away from her!” she screamed. I think she cursed at me. I can’t remember.

She stood up and walked over to my chair and pushed it over.

“Get the fuck out of here. Leave her alone!”

I didn’t move. Judy was shocked but stood up and tried to calm her friend down. He woman’s husband didn’t step in to get her off of me but pushed Judy away to give her wife a better angle at me. Mike came back and calmed everyone down.

Of course the rumors started immediately. I wasn’t invited to sit with them. I was making moves behind her husbands back. She was uncomfortable. Even after Mike and Judy explained everything was fine. The other couples didn’t accept it.

For the rest of the week the lines were clearly drawn. Half the couples thought all the single men should leave the resort. The other half started fucking the single guys with relish. That scene actually did more for me than anything else I could have done on my own.

Judy, Mike and I didn’t never even hooked up at Hedo. We hooked up a month later in Las Vegas. They told over dinner in Vegas that they were too embarrassed by what had happened.

A lot of couples are going to feel threatened by your presence in the Lifestyle circles. In their eyes you will be a sexual predator.

Don’t let these people get you down. You are bound to run into it.

Listen to what the couples are saying to you. If they call you an idiot it’s probably because you are being an idiot.

If a couple has shown interest in you that doesn’t mean you have permission to hit on her 24/7. I once had the chance for a MFF with the women from two couples. One of the couples was having a hard time trying to arrange their schedules to make it happen. Soccer games. Cheerleading work. I didn’t push them to make me a priority and it took a year to make it happen. That helped my reputation in their circle. From that I was invited to a private party where I met a beautiful woman 12 years younger than I named Elaine.

We were together for three years and broke up three years ago. Since then breaking back in to the circle has been hard. Perhaps my middle age has pushed me out of the lifestyle for good. Younger hotter studs have replaced me. No big deal. I was once them and someday they will be me.

End of Story