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Speaking Ofby Paul N Sondra
Sondra and I have been going over the friends list and talking about the site and the people we have spoken too, met, chatted with and so forth. And thought it would be a good idea to put our thoughts on paper (so to speak)
As in day to day life, real friends are few and far between even on the site. We want to explain our outlook and interest, the what's, where's and how's of Paul & Sondra.
We want to meet folks that see the world as we do. Does that mean that we Don't want to get to know others that have different lifestyles and attitudes? Not at all We enjoy conversation on many subjects and enjoy a good debate even if we are not destined to get naked and jump in a pile.
While sorting through our history we noticed so many that asked to be on our friends list then rarely drop us a note or strike up a conversation. True, some may be a good distance away and some may not fit US as an intimate match but must have been interested enough to want to add us, or at least to enough see our naked pix. So we have agreed to ask that when you're poking about the site and you are on our friends list drop us a note if only to say hello. Otherwise we are going to trim the list after a while.
We have also been approached by many fake or dishonest folks, as I bet many of you have, so we are very careful about getting to know folks. Several Couples... have spoken to us and it's always the Hubby... and never a way to verify the couple only to find its some guy bullshitting his way through cheap thrills.
We then may come across as ‘Slow to Go', and that's true we are, but we are very, very selective to get to the intimate stuff. We tend to want to pass a few emails, chat on YIM, exchange Face Photos of Everyone and even turn on the Web Cam to make sure we are really getting to know who we are getting to know. We can show you on cam that we are who we say we are as well .
We are madly in love with each other and very solid. We are very open and very happy with our life together and aren't looking for a new mate, so we are in no hurry for anything but still like the quest.
We have been asked what we are into and find it hard as we hope we never get pegged into a box. We Don't Like Pain, Humiliation, Degradation and inequality other than that give us a shout and see what's to see.
Then there's the Age issue that comes up a lot We are not young Ken and Barbie's that's a fact, but we are absolutely honest on all we write so you see who we are. We are so amazed around these parts how many think everyone over 40 are used up. Sondra says I can put most 30 year old men to shame when it comes to the Art of The Sensual and I can Testify (Say Halalooya !) that Sondra can leave a room full of 30 year olds Panting in the dark. It's not the Age, it's the Mind Set and how you enjoy life, of course keeping in shape is a big thing too. We have met couples that are older than us that acted and lived life with a spark and have met 30+ couples that you would have thought they were ready to get canes and O2 tanks. So the point is we could care less about the Age of the Body and more of the Age of the Mind. So if you are hesitant in contacting us because we are older or younger than you have considered, not to worry. We won't hold your youth and inexperience against you if you don't over look our Experience and Energy levels, and Vice Versa.
Let's talk about sexual leanings. Sondra and I have had this discussion over the last while and thought I would put it to print also. I consider myself straight and Sondra is also leaning toward seeing her self image as Straight. Thought we would put down our views. I will write first and then Sondra can put her view in her own words.
I have no homophobic thoughts in the least but I consider myself straight due to me having no physical attraction to men. I don't want to hang out with the guys, I don't want to watch football with guys. I rather sit with a bunch of females and watch a fashion show.
That being said I have gay friends and think truly bi sexual people are a step up on the evolutionary ladder. If in a sexually intimate situation with Sondra and another guy or couple or group some bi guy locks his lips around me, I'm not going to have an issue.
When in the heat of sexual encounters, I'm going to enjoy the situation and not worry about all that crap. Sondra has said well then I should consider myself Bi and I do not come to my self definition easily. I have thought about it and have no problem with being open about how I define myself but with the view that being Bi requires an internal desire to have intimate relations with a member of the same sex then I have to consider myself straight. Personally I cannot not understand what women see in men in the first place, if I were a Female I would probably be a devout Lesbian. Glad woman like men but can't for the life of me understand why. That's the way I see it and have no issues with bi couples, straight couples or any other variation on the theme as long as the People inside are Happy, Fun Loving and have a lust for life. Too many people put themselves into a box of do's and don't and I hope I never get stuck like that.
Sondra here now .. I have thought about it all my life and have no problem with being open & honest about how I define myself [even though I absolutely HATE labels and do not fit into a neat little box] but with the view that ‘being Bi requires an internal desire to have intimate relations with a member of the same sex' then, right at this moment, I have to consider myself to be Straight, or better yet Pansexual. I'm neither Bi nor Straight, if you take Pansexual into consideration For those who don't know what Pansexual is I will explain in a moment.
As for Bi, I am not at all homophobic and one of my biggest fantasies is to see two men making love, maybe join in, maybe not. I have gay friends who are fantastic people whom I love to hang out with. I find same sex relations to be very erotic, whether males or females. People will label two females together as sexy or hot but will say two men together is sick or perverted-I see one the same as the other, since in all reality it is the same. People just don't want to be honest about it.
I am just utterly amazed at how many people in this area of the country are total Homophobes and Racists. Many people have denied a Network Request from us for no apparent reason, other than the fact that I am not ‘all white meat'. Many have simply said they will only be with other whites. That is their prerogative but I hate racism, and will block assholes like that. Don't stereotype!!
The Homophobes seem to think that if a person is not ‘totally straight' then they have to avoid them like the plague because otherwise, hanging out together might get them molested or something. That's very backwards thinking and it just blows my mind that there are still people who think like that. Sorry to have to be the one to break it to the Homophobes around the area, but it's very rare for a non-straight person to do that kind of thing. Statistics show that type of crime is generally done by 30-40ish, STRAIGHT, white males, NOT by older, non-straight people, of any race.
To top that, the uneducated Rednecks of the area seem to think that if someone is non-straight, then automatically they want to do the same sex partner in the couple. Sorry people, but being Pansexual does NOT mean we want you in a sexual manner at all. We may or may not want you. We will let you know if we do or don't, but don't assume that we have no manners or respect for others-we know that ‘no means no' and live by it.
Pansexual-This means finding all aspects of sexuality interesting and appealing, as I do. I even find feminine TV/TS/CDs to be very sexually appealing and would not be averse to playing with one. If born a Hermaphrodite and feminine, I would also like that play. That is very sexy to me! I like all aspects of sexuality as long as it doesn't include a lot of pain, humiliation, or the nasty stuff such as scat, bestiality or water sports. I have to draw a line somewhere.
Even though I do find some women to be very beautiful, very sexy, I have no real desire for women at this time in my life, as in; today I may be more interested in one thing and tomorrow in another so I don't discount same sex relations at all. My needs & desires could change at the drop of a hat. I do not actively seek women out right now, BUT-In the heat of sexual passion, if I were in a situation where a woman is locking her lips around my clit or nipples, I do not have an issue with that. I'm going to enjoy the ride. Whether or not I will reciprocate the action depends on the woman and whether I have an attraction to her. Yes, I can and have had attraction to women in the past and enjoyed the encounters, I am just very picky about who I play with.
I have had times in my life when I did actively seek out a woman to play with, as at that time it was a desire of mine strong enough to make me seek her out. Maybe that makes me Bi-curious, Bi, Straight or whatever you wish to call it but, if I have to be labeled, I prefer to say I am Pansexual since I like different things at different times in my life-women, men, lesbians, gays, straight, bi, bi-curious, cd/ tv/ts, hermaphrodite-it's all good.
That said, women can be fun and enjoyable. I will look at a woman on a profile or in public and if I find her to be attractive I will keep her in mind for when I am actively seeking. At this time in my life, I prefer a cock or two but in the heat of the moment, I am not averse to enjoying a woman or her enjoying me. I do happen to enjoy gorgeous women, as well as gorgeous men. A great personality is a help as well, I tend to prefer the total package, like I have with Paul.
I have in the past played with a couple of women and enjoyed one but not the other. In that case, I would not consider myself to be Bi, but being able to play with women is still a fun thing if the attraction is there. I would prefer that the attraction be between the two of us [both women] and not a one way street, when it is there at all.
I don't generally have a lot of female friends as most women are dramatic, catty bitches. I don't see why men want to hang out with them. I can't put it any plainer or any more diplomatic but at least I am very honest.
In my case, I do not find a lot of people physically attractive. I am very picky, and can afford to be. Everyone should be EXTREMELY picky about who they get naked with. In this day & age, it is just not smart to not be. I am honest enough to say I am not usually attracted to big women or men. It's just not my cup of tea and I won't apologize for that. It is no different than those who prefer huge boobs on a woman and won't play with one who has small tits or a person who prefers huge cocks and won't play with the man who is average or small endowment. It's the same thing.
All this said, I hope it gives a bit of an eye opener into who we are Anything else you want to know, just ask
And Paul Back to say hope ya take the time to think about the lifestyle and how it impacts each of you. By talking openly with your partner without bounds you can find all the good stuff inside..
Above All Have Fun..
Sondra & Paul
End of Story