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But Who Am I Really? 4 7
Hugh got up at 6 AM the next morning, wide-awake and completely
refreshed. He looked over at Erin and saw her dead asleep. She had been
working on the contract and company books till two in the morning.
It must be jetlag, Hugh thought. He was not normally a 'morning'
person, preferring instead to stay up late and get up late.
Hugh glanced at himself as he walked past the bedroom mirror. My god,
he thought, I have an incredible body. He was wearing a knit cotton
nightshirt that went down just to his upper thighs. His pert breasts
and slender waist caused it to tent out a bit in front, and he
experimented with leaning over. Yes, he saw his panties peek out from
underneath as he did so.
Gradually, Hugh leant down further and further, until he could touch
the floor. Then further until he could put is palms flat on the floor.
As a man, his body could barely touch the floor at all. But now, with
Erin's body he could actually lean over, grasp his legs, and hug them
close to his chest. She was so limber. He realized that he should learn
how to take better care of the body so that she wouldn't notice any
problems when they were finally able to switch back. Whenever that
With nothing better to do, Hugh went and had a shower and cleaned up
for the day. When he got out, an hour later, Erin was still fast
asleep. Hugh thought he might be able to wake her up with the smell of
coffee and breakfast, so he pulled on a pair of new silk panties (a
gift from Fenway), covered up the rest of the way with a snuggly warm
terry cloth robe of his own, and went to the kitchen to prepare
Again, his nipples and breasts were so sensitive in the robe. Every
time he moved, they would rub across the terry cloth, making him
intimately aware of how naked he was inside the robe, and causing his
mind to wander to sexual thoughts, like the blow job he gave to Erin
His plan worked. As coffee dripped into the pot and as he pulled hot
bacon from the microwave, Hugh heard Erin in the shower. And as he put
out plates of scrambled eggs, coffee, bacon, and toast (he had done
some emergency grocery shopping the day before), Erin walked in dressed
in a thin silk robe, blurry eyed, gave Hugh a warm hug with a deep good
morning kiss, and sat down to eat.
As he sat down too, Hugh wondered about Erin's comment the day before,
about how Erin's mother intended to only make breakfast for her
husband, Erin's dad, just that one time, but somehow had ended up doing
it every day, and was still doing it to this day, out of love. 'Naah,'
he thought, 'I'm just being a proper host, that's all. Besides, Erin
was up so late last night, she deserves to be pampered a bit.'
So they ate and chatted about what was going to happen today. After
breakfast and cleanup, they both went to get dressed.
Hugh had the distinct pleasure of dressing for the first time with one
of his new outfits. Hugh started with a plain white nylon bra. After
all of his practice in dressing yesterday, he had less trouble reaching
back to fasten the clasp. Fenway had said that fastening the bra from
behind achieved the most natural results, rather than fastening it in
front, twisting it around, and pulling it up. Hugh doubted that there
was much difference, but since Erin's body was so flexible, it didn't
seem to make much difference one way or the other. Again he felt the
sensation of the bra hugging his bosoms, pulling them together
slightly, and cupping them in their intimate hold.
Next, he pulled on his first pair of pantyhose. He had purchased them
the day before, but he had never tried them on, Fenway was certain they
would fit. The feeling of the clingy fabric enclosing and caressing
every inch of his legs and pressing in around his crotch and buns
caused Hugh to gasp. He had never worn tights or hose or anything, and
so this feeling of being captured or even imprisoned, by such personal
undergarments was brand new to him. He wondered how anyone could stand
such stimulation for any length of time!
After the pantyhose, he stepped into a very short half-slip which
hugged his waist and went down to just a few inches below his crotch.
It was made of silk, with a delicate lace fringe. If anyone should get
a peek at it, they would think that Hugh was being flirtatious. The
lace brushed against his thighs over the gauzy pantyhose, giving him
Since some of his blouses were very sheer, Fenway had insisted Hugh
purchase a couple of camisoles, and now he selected one and put it on.
It went down to his waist, had spaghetti straps and a very simple lace
neckline. This was covered with a gossamer, cream-colored blouse, with
wide lapels and small mother of pearl on gold buttons.
Since he was going to be going shopping for office space, he decided it
was time for the fitted business suit. He started with a short, plain,
lightweight, wool skirt, which went down to just mid-thigh. Next, he
added the fitted jacket, which was cut in at the waist, arranged his
lapels so they laid straight, and then went to check himself out in the
The affect was stunning: Business-like, professional, but amazingly
elegant and beautiful. When dressed this way (and with his hair pulled
into a bun the way he had been taught), Erin's face lost it's
impishness, and became more serious and much more intelligent. His eyes
were almost piercing, and as he arched his eyebrows, he enjoyed the
affect of mocking which he could achieve.
Erin looked in the mirror as well, she had just finished dressing in a
business suit (male, of course) herself. She saw Hugh, and whistled.
"Wow, that Fenway of yours does incredible work. I've never looked so
sophisticated in my entire life!"
Hugh blushed at the praise.
"Now, with just a little makeup, you'll be perfect!"
Erin took Hugh by the hand and led him over to the bathroom mirror. She
pulled out a small makeup kit from her knapsack.
"Let's see," she hummed, "a little powder, there. And some lipstick,
here let me do it." She held Hugh's face and gently stroked his lips
with some light red lipstick. "Not enough so anyone will really notice,
but enough to brighten up that pale face a little. How about perfume?"
Hugh's eyes went wide. "Ah... Um..." he sputtered. What he wanted to
say was 'NO!', but he couldn't get the words out, wondering what was
"Well, why not? You'll drive those real-estate agents mad! They'll be
so captivated that they'll be putty in your hands." She held up Hugh's
wrist and before he could stop her, she had sprayed it.
"Now, rub your wrists together." He did. "Now here," a quick spray
behind the left ear, "here," the right ear, "and here," on his chest,
just below his neckline.
The strong sent was overpowering. "That's too much!" Hugh cried. "It's
way too much! Everyone will think I'm a harlot!"
"You've never put on perfume before, have you? It always starts out
this strong. Most of it will evaporate after a few minutes, and then it
will be subtle, so you won't even notice."
Hugh walked back to the closet, found a pair of black leather 3 inch
high heels, and then walked back to the mirror (a bit unsteady, unused
to the heels) one last time before leaving for his first appointment.
After all this preparation, he was still shocked by the image that he
saw. It was a sexy, stylish, businesslike female. So beautiful, classy,
and just a hint of vulnerability (due to the heels?).
As he stared at the mirror, thought about heading out for the day, it
suddenly hit him. "I can't do this."
"What?" Erin asked, pulling on her jacket.
"I can't leave the house like this."
"Look at me! I'm a woman! I mean, I'm a man, not a woman! This is some
kind of perverse charade, I can't do this, it's crazy."
"Oh Hugh, I'm just as scared as you are. And I have to interact with
people who I'm supposed to know. They all think that my vacation has
changed you dramatically."
"It has! Will I ever get my body back?" Hugh looked at Erin,
frantically. "What are we doing? This is stupid! It's all your fault
for getting us into this. How could you have done this to me?"
"What??" Erin was incredulous. "My fault? It was an accident! I had no
idea this would happen. Do you think I switch places with people every
"Well how should I know? Maybe you're some kind of sicko witch who
enjoys separating men unwillingly from their bodies for kicks."
Erin narrowed her eyes and spoke very softly. "Is that what you think I
am? I thought I had earned your trust. I thought you would appreciated
Hugh looked at Erin and dissolved into tears. "Oh please, I don't know
what's come over me," he sat on the bed, "I think I was in denial
before, but now... all this..." Hugh gestured to the mirror, "it's all
so much, so fast! I..." Hugh gulped some air between sobs.
Erin walked over, picked some tissues from the box, and handed them to
"Thank you," Hugh mumbled, wiping his eyes. He looked up at Erin, "I'm
Erin looked down, sternly, but with compassion. "I will forgive you.
But there is never any excuse for meanness."
Hugh hung his head. "Yes, I know," he mumbled submissively. "I'm
Erin had had enough. "We'll talk more about this tonight." Now, let's
go, there's a long day ahead."
Erin reached down, grasped Hugh by the wrist, pulled him up, and
marched him to the door. He had just enough presence of mind to grab
his purse (which he had stocked the night before with money, keys, and
all of Erin's identification) as he stumbled after her.
"I think the only way to get over this fear of yours is to get out
there. So, let's go." She stepped outside, and pulled Hugh after her.
She walked him to his car, which was parked on the street.
"See? Cars going by, people walking, and do you know what they see? A
well dressed business couple, ready to start the day. Nothing more,
nothing less. Hugh, you are a woman, at least for a while, until we can
figure out how to switch back. You are not a man. You are not
pretending. For now, I am Hugh, and you are Erin, and we need to do the
best to help each other through this. Are you with me?"
Hugh looked around, feeling exposed and vulnerable in the world of
which previously he had been in such control. Perhaps it was this loss
of control that had suddenly overwhelmed him.
He looked up at Erin. "I'm with you. I'm sorry for what I said."
"We'll talk about that tonight." Erin smiled. "Now go out there and
find us some groovy office space."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was a strange day.
Hugh knew he had fucked up with Erin that morning. The things he had
said were horrible, and he kept wishing he could take them back. He
hadn't realized how much anxiety he had suppressed until it burst out.
His fearfulness at being out in the world, alone, continued through the
day. 'How does Erin do it?' he wondered. With his bare legs, short
skirt, and revealing blouse he couldn't shake the feeling that eyes,
like searchlights, were scanning over his body. He knew he looked good,
which just made it worse. 'Why couldn't I just dress in sweats?'
It was also a difficult day for Erin, which meant that she and Hugh
were constantly communicating via cell phone. He would discuss the
options for office space, and she would ask him questions about
personnel, American business practice, the needs of a software company,
and negotiating points. The company was beginning to take shape.
As he walked up to the first appointment, Hugh would have lost his
nerve if it had not been for words of encouragement from Erin,
delivered through the cell phone: "Stand tall, be proud, look them in
the eye, be confident. You know how to be confident, don't you? Pretend
that you know you are a woman, you like being a woman, you revel in it,
and that you are proud of it. Carry your deception all the way. But
most of all..."
"OK, if you say so..."
Fortunately, the first appointment was with a female commercial real-
estate agent, Liz. Hugh managed it better than expected. When Liz
commented Hugh on his suit, Hugh returned the compliment, and they
spent a few moments comparing shopping experiences. Hugh was able to
relate his experience at Nordstrom's with delight, and so he developed
an instant bond with the agent. They visited four buildings all
managed by her company, one of which was very close to home.
The afternoon meeting was much less comfortable. This time, the agent
was a man, and he had a sleazy half-bravado half-obsequious attitude,
which was made worse by his body language. For example, he would put
his hand on Hugh's back to guide Hugh in the room, he would stand too
close when talking, he would touch Hugh's arm when he wanted to make a
point, and he talked down to Hugh, both literally (he was 3 inches
taller) and in his choice of words. In fact, it wasn't until Hugh
delivered his analysis on the strengths and weaknesses of the Boston
Red Sox bullpen that Hugh started getting more than just obligatory
'Tip of the day,' thought Hugh, 'mention sports sooner when talking to
But he had survived. And, surprisingly, he gradually found himself
thinking more and more about the task at hand, and less and less about
being on stage. By the end of the day, Hugh almost forgot that he was
pretending to be this incredibly beautiful Irish lady.
Hugh was determined to do everything he could to make up for his
hateful remarks earlier. And, he thought, the best way to a man's heart
And so, accordingly, he had purchased all of the ingredients for
traditional Irish lamb stew and it was bubbling on the stove as he got
Dressing for this evening was difficult. He wanted to be casual, but
stylish. Sexy, but not overt. He almost called Fenway to get her
opinion. 'But no,' Hugh thought, 'I can do this on my own.'
In the end, he chose a cotton button down shirt with a linen skirt and
open-toed sandals. After dressing, Hugh looked down he saw his toes
were just out in the open where they looked so plain! The sandals were
OK, but he painted his toenails to make them look sexier.
For earrings he chose simple gold studs. Now *that* was strange.
Finding a hole in his earlobe, and pushing this post through it, and
then securing it to his ear with the fastener. Somehow it felt like his
earlobe was being restrained or bound. Such a small thing, and yet it
felt almost like an act of obedience.
Finally, Hugh put on a gold chain necklace with a simple gold claddagh
ring as a pendant. The sales lady at the department store had told him
it was an Irish tradition.
So, when Erin got home at 7:30 that night, Hugh was ready. He ran to
the door, took her briefcase away and gave Hugh a big hug and a long
"Oh, how I missed that!" Erin exclaimed. "And what do we have here?"
She held Erin at arm's length. "You've dressed up?"
"No, not really. I just thought a skirt might be more comfortable for
tonight." Hugh lied.
Erin reached out and held Hugh's claddagh pendant in his hand. She gave
Hugh a puzzled look for a second, but then noticed the smells wafting
from the kitchen. "And what's that?" Erin disentangled herself from
Hugh and briskly walked to the kitchen. "Lamb Stew! Hugh, you shouldn't
have! It smells wonderful!"
Hugh was beside himself, grinning impishly. "Well, it's my way of
saying sorry for this morning." Hugh pouted a bit. "Can you find it in
your heart to forgive me?"
Erin smiled a broad smile and walked over and gave Hugh another big
hug. "Of course, Hugh. But now it's my turn to apologize. And after all
you've done to make this night a special one! I've invited John over
here to work on the contract some more. We were going to do employment
contracts, so I thought you might want to listen in - since we'll be
writing your future job description. Anyway, he's on his way over and
he'll be here in just a couple of minutes. He's anxious to meet you."
Hugh's face fell. It was hard to be enthusiastic. "Oh, no, that's fine.
We have plenty of food. It's just..."
"Well, I was planning on giving you a backrub and a foot massage too.
Because, you know, you had such a hard day."
"Well, I don't see why we can't..." and just then the doorbell rang.
Erin looked frantic for a second. "There he is. Please, *please*
remember this one thing:"
"Call me Hugh! Don't forget! And I'll have to call you Erin."
And then Hugh met John again, but had to pretend like it was the first
time. Trying to act like the girls he had met in Ireland, Hugh leaned
forward and lightly kissed John on the cheek. John was surprised, and
held a hand to his cheek for a second, staring at Hugh.
"Ahem, ah, Irish custom," Hugh explained. Erin grinned at Hugh.
Conversation over dinner was lively, the stew turned out just right,
and John was amazed at how much Hugh (disguised as Erin) knew about the
company, the people in it, and the contracts.
Hugh explained "Oh, Hugh tells me everything. He just goes on and on
about the company. It can get quite boring at times, actually. And his
jokes about network protocols are just dreadful."
John laughed. "Yes, it does seem to consume our lives, especially these
Erin looked at Hugh with an amused and curious expression. Was Hugh
teasing Erin? Or was he teasing himself? Or teasing Erin pretending to
be himself? Or teasing himself, as expressed by Erin? Things were
definitely becoming way too weird.
Eventually, everyone finished dinner, and while Hugh was cleaning
dishes, the two men withdrew to the living room and started to go over
each point in the contract, one by one.
Hugh finished cleaning up and then went to join them. He sat on the
couch next to Erin, while John was sitting opposite, in an armchair.
Hugh was conflicted. He wanted to participate in the discussion, but he
didn't want John to become suspicious. How could he provide his input
without appearing to be too knowledgeable?
Finally, he decided on a plan. Hugh slid over the couch until he was
right next to Erin, then he reached out, hugged her, and then leaned
close to her ear. Hugh then whispered in Erin's ear, "tie the non-
compete to the payments", then he lightly bit on Erin's ear, and
Now, if Hugh had been in a meeting with a beautiful girl nibbling on
his ear, he would have been absolutely embarrassed, and after turning
beet red, he would have pushed her (gently) away.
But it was Erin (in Hugh's body) who was receiving the attention, not
Hugh. And she was used to public affection, since that is part of Irish
culture, which has always included hugging and kissing as a form of
greeting. So Erin thought it was nice, enjoyed the attention, and
especially enjoyed that it was coming from Hugh.
And Hugh was pretending to be Erin. He was doing things in this alter
ego that he would never have done in his own body. Somehow, being in
Erin's body gave him a freedom to be more forward and open, and less
uptight about public affection. Also, he enjoyed teasing Erin since she
had ruined their evening alone together.
"So I was thinking," Erin said to John, "shouldn't we tie the non-
compete clause to the payments, somehow? I mean, if we are being
prevented from competing with them for a period of a year, shouldn't
they continue payments for a year?"
Naturally, this caused another wave of discussions about the
feasibility of the plan, and would the company go for it.
Meanwhile, Hugh continued to hug and be affectionate to Erin. After a
second, Erin looked back and said: "Erin, you promised me that
backrub. How about now? My right shoulder is killing me."
"Um..." Hugh replied. He was embarrassed. It was one thing to hug your
boyfriend in front of someone else. It was quite another to do a
backrub in public. 'What was I thinking?' He thought, 'I shouldn't have
started it.' And there was Erin, completely oblivious to the turmoil
going on inside Hugh, thinking it was perfectly normal in America for
men to ask (command?) their strong-willed, independent, female partner
to give them a backrub in public.
Hugh knew that he was crossing a threshold. If he did this, he would be
showing John that he was an obedient woman, complying with Erin's
request that way. John would put her in the role of the infatuated
girlfriend. If only she hadn't made dinner for them! That made it ten
Erin looked back at Hugh, questioningly.
Hugh looked back. He looked into eyes that had been his eyes just last
week. But he didn't see himself anymore. He saw another person
entirely. He saw Erin staring at him through those male eyes and with
that male face.
And he realized that it was true, what John would think of her. He
*was* infatuated with Erin. And right then, he would have done anything
Hugh gulped, and then reached out tentatively. "Of course," he said,
"now tell me where it hurts." Hugh started rubbing Erin's back, and she
responded gratefully, with satisfied sighs. "You know," Hugh continued,
"you should really try carrying that laptop on the other shoulder."
After about 15 minutes of alternating gentle and hard massage (all the
while talking about contracts and negotiations), John couldn't stand it
anymore. "Hugh, you are one lucky bastard," he said. "I wish I had
someone to rub my sore muscles. Erin, you are one special lady."
Erin looked back at Hugh for a second, and Hugh saw her eyes shift
No, you can't be serious, Hugh thought. She wants me to rub his back!
Hugh's heart skipped a beat and then thumped really hard in his throat.
Trying to affect a breezy and careless air, Hugh stood up, "Well, John,
that's easily rectified." He walked over to John and put her arms on
his shoulders and started to knead them.
"Oh, that's fantastic," John sighed. "But hey, I was just kidding. You
don't have to do that."
"Really, I don't mind," Hugh lied, "anything for the company! But just
don't get any ideas."
"Of course not!" John tried hard not to let 'ideas' invade his mind,
and he mostly succeeded.
After a couple of minutes, Erin finally called a stop to it. "OK, ok,
that's enough you two. We have work to do! Erin, it would be fantastic
if you could make up some coffee..."
"Of course." Hugh walked into the other room and started the automatic
drip coffee maker. It was a good thing he was in the other room, since
his face had flushed at the undisguised command from Erin.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After four hours of work, they were all exhausted. Erin and Hugh had
worked out a better method of communicating. Under the guise of taking
notes (which he did), Hugh would write comments and questions on a
notepad. Erin would then occasionally "examine" the notes, and then
come up with additional questions or comments. They both delighted in
their surreptitious communications, and occasionally had to suppress a
grin or chuckle.
Erin was lying down on the sofa, her feet (still in shoes) on Hugh's
lap. John was lying flat on the floor with his eyes closed. At this
point they were just gossiping about markets, customers, products,
Erin looked up at Hugh and wriggled her feet in his lap. Hugh looked
back at Erin and saw her raise her eyebrows and nod towards her feet.
Hugh shook his head. He was not going to rub her feet in front of
someone else! What would John think of her then? Of course, Hugh knew
exactly what he would think. John would think that Hugh's new
girlfriend was starry eyed and lovesick, and would do anything that her
man asked her to do.
Erin pouted, looked down for a second, and then looked up with a
Hugh looked down at the shoes, then back up at Erin. Erin sniffled,
pretending to be sad.
Hugh looked down at the shoes again. I can't be doing this, he thought.
I am not doing this.
But he was, Hugh grasped a shoelace and undid the bow, slowly. Then he
did the same to the other shoe. Then he loosened the laces and slipped
of each shoe.
Erin's expression turned from sad to blissful. Hugh reach down and
started rubbing the first foot, through the sweaty nylon socks, feeling
each muscle and bone, and all the time smelling the rich sent of shoe
leather, heavy sweat, and socks.
Hugh was feeling submissive and obedient. As he kneaded each of Erin's
toes, and then the ball of each foot, Hugh realized that he enjoyed
giving Erin pleasure. She was so appreciative, and it showed that she
needed him as much as he needed her, and so Hugh felt a kind of
peacefulness and belonging.
It was also making him intensely horny. His pussy inside the nylon
panties was becoming increasingly slippery as he had been asked to take
care of more and more of Erin's needs.
'I'm getting off on this,' Hugh realized, in shock.
John looked up and saw what was going on. Hugh blushed a deep, deep
red, but continued his ministrations.
John started gathering his papers. "Well, listen, I should be going.
I'll just leave you two lovebirds. See ya later, Hugh. Erin," John
leaned over and gave Hugh a light kiss on the cheek, "dinner was
wonderful. You are a fantastic cook."
"Thank you, John. It was nice to... ah... meet you. I had heard so much
about you from Hugh."
Erin looked up. "See ya tomorrow, John."
John let himself out.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later that night, Hugh found himself in another submissive position, as
he lay trapped underneath Erin. She was pounding her hard cock deep
into his sopping cunt. Hugh pulled her towards him, holding her male
body tight to his female one, as she climaxed and shot her sperm deep
into his vagina.
Erin moved to pull out, but Hugh hadn't climaxed yet, so he roughly
pulled her down on top of him, and thrust his pelvis back up at her.
The stimulation of her pubic hair on his clitoris was just enough, and
he came, hard, this time with small shrieks, which he had never done
Erin moved to pull out again, but Hugh instinctively stopped her a
second time, and pulled her full weight down on top of him, burying her
still hard penis deeply into his pussy. Hugh realized that he really
loved the sensation of being trapped, with a cock invading his most
intimate orifice, with the pressure of a man lying on top of him with
his full weight. Hugh's vagina clenched some more, squeezing the last
of Erin's sperm out of her cock, which traveled down past his cervix,
and into his uterus.
And Erin realized something too. This evening had shown her something
very clearly. Hugh had been a lost soul. And now she knew exactly where
this lost soul should be lead.
Only there was a complication. In order to lead Hugh to his proper
place in the universe, she would have to go on a spiritual journey as
End of Story