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Hubbys Tough Decision

The purpose for telling this story is to help others that may find themselves in this situation. Hopefully, this story will give others the courage to face the issues my husband and I did. I’m sure there are thousands experiencing what we are.

My husband Jeff and I have been married for 38 years and turned 60 years old this summer. Our marriage could only be described as one of devotion to each other. As far as I know neither one of us has strayed outside the marriage or had any type of an affair. Jeff was a wonderful lover and kept me fully satisfied. He was one that got up horny and went to bed horny so our love life was active.

Jeff was a college athlete and participated in recreational sports well into his 40’s. When he became too old for basketball and softball he became an avid runner so he was always fit and “hot” if I do say so myself. I spent plenty of the days in the gym trying to look good after raising three children. He was a school administrator for 26 years while I taught. Both of us retired after 33 years of educational service and have been retired now for 5 years.

Jeff suffered a bout of pancreatitis two years before we retired. He spent 40 days in intensive care and was hospitalized for another 55 days after developing staff infection. He had a temporary pace maker and a ventilator and nearly died. That was very traumatic for our family. Jeff recovered and has not had any lingering issues that endanger his health but has one lingering issue. I’m not sure if this is a result of his pancreatitis but he has developed ED.

While he is so glad to be alive and things could have been much worse this is the guy that is horny 24/7 and he still is. This condition is really working on him, as he has always been one to please me in bed. This condition has slowly worsened and, along with my thyroid condition causing extra dryness, our sex lives have changed. As hard as he tries I hardly ever have an orgasm and, even with medication, once he has an orgasm his erection is gone. I yearned for those feelings but would never tell him and embarrass him.

One night after another short sexual event he just rolled over, pulled the covers on, and went to sleep. I had no idea what to do. I consider myself pretty good at giving bj’s and I couldn’t even help him “get up” that way. Tears formed in the corner of my eyes because I felt helpless. I didn’t know how to help since medication was having only marginal effects for him and our activity wasn’t working for me.

A couple of days passed and Jeff brought the subject up while we were in bed. He told me how frustrated he was that he couldn’t give me pleasure. He asked me how often I had orgasms and I told him almost never. He said, “I thought that was the case.” The next thing he said almost blew my mind. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I think we ought to look for someone for you to meet to take care of your needs.” I was shocked and said, “I’m fine and don’t want another man.” “I love you and could never be with another man.”

We talked a little longer about the subject but each time I resisted. Several days had passed before he brought it up again. This time he had posted our situation on craigslist, which I didn’t even know it existed. He told our age and how he wasn’t satisfying me any more. He made me go through each and every one of the responses with him. I cried when I read the description he wrote but couldn’t help but notice about 30 responses that were willing to “lend a hand.”

Half of the responses attached pictures of their packages and that was an instant turn off. One however did catch my eye. He was a widower and shared how his wife had died of cancer in the past year and he had not been with a woman since she died. Neither of us trusts that site and I again told Jeff I wasn’t interested.

Jeff saw that I paid some attention to the widower’s post and took it upon himself to reply. The guy seemed real and the only way to find out was to meet him in person. He set up a time to meet him for dinner on a Saturday night. Up to this point he hadn’t told me he had responded. When he told me I was pissed but also felt so sorry for Jeff and the extent he was taking this.

Jeff said, “Look I’m giving you permission to see if your needs can be met.” “The only condition is that our relationship has to stay strong and that we remain devoted to each other.” I began to cry and went to the bedroom. Jeff waited a short while and then came in. He said, “Let’s just meet the guy.” “You will have the hammer and can call this off.

Saturday came and I spent the afternoon with so many mixed feelings. My head was telling me not to go but I didn’t want to disappoint Jeff. We met Mark at Rubes steakhouse in Marshalltown, Iowa. It’s kind of a neat place where you pick out a steak and grill it yourself. Jeff and I were at a table when Mark came in. We invited him to sit down and began to have a few drinks.

Mark shared that he was an engineer from Cedar Rapids and had been married for 30 years. He was 54 years old and was very handsome. He had brown hair with streaks of gray in it. I was glad the guy that showed up looked like Mark but was positive I wasn’t going through with this.

We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and went back home. On the way home we talked about Mark and what Jeff was asking me to do. I said I didn’t think I could go through with it. He argued that this could be good for both of us. I could do some good in getting Mark back engaged with women and I could get my needs met. Jeff said he could come with me and watch or be in the same house/room or let me go solo. I said, “I just can’t do this and sure as hell could never have you see me with another man!”

We arrived home and didn’t discuss it further. We gave Mark both of our email addresses. It was Monday when I received an email from Mark and he had copied it to Jeff. He said he enjoyed our time together Saturday night and found me very attractive. He said he knew how hard this was for me but also said this wasn’t easy for him either.

I waited for Jeff to return and showed him the email. He said he read it on his phone and asked what I was going to do. I’m very reluctant Jeff. Jeff suggested that he and I go out for dinner and get to know him better. In a weak moment I said OK. I responded to Mark’s email with the suggestion that Jeff made and said I would be coming alone. He confirmed the “date” and we met at a restaurant in Cedar Rapids. We live about an hour from there.

I asked Jeff what I should wear and he smiled and said, “Wear something sexy.” “You’re going out on a date!” I chose a sun dress that was somewhat revealing as it showed my cleavage. When I got Jeff’s approval I headed to CR. He said, “If he invites you to his place go ahead and go.” I replied, “I just don’t know Jeff.” He said, “Do it for me!”

Mark and I had a wonderful dinner and chatted for a long time. He really was a nice, kind man and was struggling with all of this too. He asked if I wanted to stop by his place before I headed back home and I agreed. Mark fixed a drink when I arrived and sat it on the coffee table where I was seated on the couch. He joined me and began to tell me more about his family. He showed me some family pictures and several of his wife. You could tell he was really missing her.

We talked for an hour or so and nothing happened. I wasn’t sure what I was to do. Was I to take the lead? I didn’t think so. I stood up and suggested that I should be going. Mark got up and asked if he could see me again. I said that would be OK with me. He moved closer to me and kissed me and said, “Thanks for spending time with me tonight and for the visit. I smiled, grabbed his hands, and kissed him again and left.

Jeff was waiting up for me when I returned. He asked for full details and I told him nothing happened. I said, "I’m not sure he wanted to do anything else." Jeff said, “He answered an ad we placed in Craigslist asking for your needs to be met, we both sized him up, he responded first with an email, and you don’t think he wanted to at least get to 2nd base?” I replied, “Well, I don’t think either one of us knows what to do.

Jeff said, “Email him for another meeting and bring him to our cabin.” “Tell him you’ll grill a nice steak for him.” “I’ll make sure I’m gone so you can have the place to yourself.” I did what Jeff suggested and we set up another meeting for two weeks. Jeff was going to be at a high school football game in his hometown and wouldn’t be home until later.

Jeff and I discussed the next meeting and he said if nothing was happening to take the lead. Mark was probably “out of practice” so play it by ear. Friday came and Jeff was off to the football game. His drive was about 90 minutes or a little longer so he wouldn’t be home until after midnight. His buddies usually stop for a couple of beers after the game. He also suggested that I wear his favorite lacey red bra and panties.

Mark arrived around 6:00 p.m. I looked at him as he arrived and really had to admit he was nice looking. He smiled and said, “You look nice tonight.” “I’ve looked forward to coming to see you again.” I asked what he wanted to drink, fixed a couple of margaritas, and then headed out to grill. We have a nice deck right off the cabin. A hot tub is on the one end and a table and bar stools face the lake with a beautiful view. The grill is between the hot tub and the stools and is covered by a pergola.

I made a pitcher of margaritas and we finished our 2nd one before the steaks were done. We poured a 3rd and brought the rest of the food out to the deck and ate there. It was a beautiful early fall/late summer night. The day had been warm but there was a cool breeze that was refreshing. I lit the candle centerpiece on the table, which added to the mood.

Mark seemed a lot more relaxed and I know I was. Maybe it was the drinks or maybe we were getting to know each other better. Remembering what Jeff had suggested about taking the lead I asked, “Are you feeling OK about tonight?” Mark said, “I was ready to ask you the same thing.” It was just turning dusk so I asked if he wanted to move inside.

Once inside the activity sped up a little bit. Mark asked me if there were limits or boundaries. I smiled and replied, “Let’s proceed without any and I’ll tell you if I’m uncomfortable.” I think that worked for him as he came closer and wrapped his arms around me. He said, “I really want to thank you for spending this time with me.” We began to passionately kiss and Mark drove his tongue deep inside my mouth. I thought he must not have done this for a year and participated fully.

We moved to the couch and sat continuing the “necking” for a while. Mark let his hand move to my breast and I sort of stuck it out there to let him know to proceed. He rubbed his hand and fingers on the outside of my blouse and my nipples grew harder by the second. They tend to stick out a little normally but now they were standing erect. My lacey bra sure wasn’t keeping them contained.

I asked Mark if he would like better access and his smile was unforgettable. I unbuttoned my blouse and took it off leaving the lacey see through bra in his full view. He continued to pamper my breast and then reached around and unsnapped my bra with his one hand. I thought he is not out of practice, as Jeff can’t even do that with one hand! ? I’m proud of how my breasts look at my age as I’ve tried to take care of them. He leaned over and began sucking and nibbling while taking the other nipple between his fingers. I felt the wetness and a tingling of anticipation in my crotch.


He used his free hand to massage my leg and moved ever so slowly up my thigh. When his hand nearly reached the top of my legs he let his index finger slowly and lightly circle the inside of my thigh. I felt a chill go up my back, as he would come ever so closely to my pussy yet stay just far enough away that I wanted it. Even when I would arch my back and indicate to go for it he stayed just far enough away to drive me crazy.

Now it was my turn. I put my hand inside his shirt and let my fingers slide between his chest hairs. Jeff doesn’t have too much chest hair and I’ve always stolen a second look at men that do. His nipples were hard and my continued light touch seemed to turn him on more. I could tell he was anxious and ready and let my hand slide down to his crotch and rubbed his shaft from the outside. There was quite a bulge there and I found myself wanting to see it.

Mark stopped his play and stood up to remove his shirt and reveal a gorgeous looking chest. While he looked slim with his shirt on he had nice definition. I reached to his belt and undid it and removed it from the loops. Next I unzipped his zipper and let my fingers wander inside his underwear. He was fully erect and, from the feel, was bigger and thicker than Jeff.

He was wearing boxers so it was easy to have access to his cock. When I pulled it out of his pants I was shocked to see it was nearly 8” and very thick as well. Mark moved closer to the couch giving me the next hint. I grabbed his shaft and cupped his sack with the other hand and took him in my mouth. His size and thickness was a new challenge for me. Mark stepped a little closer and placed his hands at the back of my head to encourage me to continue. His moans were noticeable as I let my tongue circle the head of his cock and followed by taking as much as I could. I’ve felt I was pretty good at giving bj’s and by Mark’s reaction I was doing well.

Mark stopped me before he came and finished helping me remove the rest of my clothes. Once the skirt was off the lacey panties was the only thing I had on. He smiled and let his fingers outline my panties occasionally letting them slide inside. Mark took his boxers off revealing that beautiful package so I responded by removing my underwear. Mark took a step back and stared at my now totally naked body. I took that as a huge compliment but it may have been that he hadn’t seen a naked lady in nearly a year.

He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed passionately again. This time there was no teasing as he put his hand between my legs and his fingers inside me. They slid easily in and out as I was extremely wet. I grabbed his other hand and said, “Come with me.” We walked to the bedroom and I took my position on the bed. I was lying on my back and, with my finger and a smile, motioned him to come to bed.

Mark wasted little time as he dove between my legs with his tongue and fingers. If he was out of practice it must have been like riding a bike and that you never forget. His tongue circled my clit and his fingers curled inside me looking for the g-spot. It was just minutes before my first orgasm. Mark continued to provide pleasure I hadn’t felt in years. When he finally mounted me and inserted his cock he did slowly and deliberately, again teasing me and making me want more. I arch my back in a “pleading” way to give me the entire package. When he finally did “give it all” to me my eyes nearly rolled back in my head. Orgasm #2 came shortly and this time I was screaming with pleasure. He continued to pound me and the slapping sound of his balls against my crotch was evidence I was taking it all. Mark’s groaning soon became loud and I felt a huge load being deposited inside.

We fucked for at least a half hour longer and in several different positions before we collapsed in exhaustion. We embraced for a little while longer and then we headed for the hot tub. We have a lake front place but no one is there in the fall. Jeff and I rarely wear suits when we use the hot tub. I had Mark set on the edge of the tub and I took him in my mouth again until he was fairly hard. He sat in the bottom of the tub and I mounted his beautiful cock one more time. We created plenty of waves as I bounced up and down and rode him one last time.

Mark got dressed and left. Jeff got home about an hour later and wanted a full update. I filled him in with a lot of what we did. I hesitated when he asked if I had an orgasm and didn’t tell him that we fucked in more positions that I knew were available. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had multiple orgasms nor that we finished the night off with another romp in the hot tub. I wanted to be open about it but couldn’t do that to him. He was happy with the report and I was happy!

We met 5-6 more times before we headed for Texas over the winter. Mark thanked me over and over for helping him get back engaged in life. Jeff allowed me to spend the night with him just prior to leaving for the winter. He didn’t want me driving back at night in the winter or so he said! ? Mark has found another lady but still comes to see me on the side.

I wanted to share this story, as it has to be just as difficult for thousands of other couples just like us. The good news is that Jeff and I are more in love than ever before and nothing will break that up. As I age I’m sure these little “romps” will end but I’ll never can never tell you how much I appreciate the tough decision Jeff made to allow me to have some needs met. He was very unselfish, persistent, and I love him for it!















End of Story