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Anticipation is the Mother of all, but surely I am not feeling eager or excited about what is to come. My feelings at this moment are more of trepidation, perhaps apprehension. I broke a major rule and I must face the consequences. I wonder, as I am bent over the couch, kneeling on the floor, my head lying on the cushion with my eyes closed, what exactly are you doing? Which instruments of my doom are you choosing? Will you use the leather or wooden paddle, the crop, the whip or your hands?
The severity of this punishment will surely stay with me for a very long time. I know that I deserve this and it will insure that it will never happen again. So I lay here waiting, knowing that, you are not taking your time because it pleases you to do this, but quite the opposite. You have already told me this was going to hurt you more than it will me. It wasn’t meant as an old cliché that parents make to their kids. I know that you genuinely meant it. I hurt you, the Master of my heart, and it does not please you to inflict true pain. This is something that you must do, a sort of cleansing in a sense.
The first blow landed across my ass, I cried out. You were so quiet; I never knew it was coming. The second blow landed just below the first, and I bit my lip. My ass felt like it was on fire, you were using the wooden paddle. I knew I would have bruises for weeks as a reminder of what I did. The third blow landed somewhere in-between the other two. I tried to stay as still as I could; taking everything that you gave me. I grabbed a hold of the cushions, gripping them tightly. As the fourth and fifth fell, my eyes were full of tears, I tried so hard not to cry out, but it was all in vain. I was breathing heavy, trying to prepare myself for the rest. I was starting to feel a little bit disoriented and I lost count. I kept praying the next one would be the last.
When the final blow landed, I was sobbing saying I was sorry over and over again. You helped me up and sat on the couch pulling me into your arms. You held me close as I cried. I felt you kiss my forehead and you were telling me how proud you were of me for taking my punishment so well. In that moment my cries started to subside and I did begin to feel cleansed. I felt relief, that I could put it behind me and that we would move forward. I knew that I would never disappoint you that way ever again. I learned that I am at my happiest when I know that you are pleased.