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Almost 1st Times

Knowing this about myself now, I think back to when I was young and naïve and things would have happened if I had known. Or what would have happened had he only realized that if he had just taken charge, I would have let him.

SF --- Buena Vista Park

I celebrated my independence after turning 18 by traveling on my own to San Francisco. A little lost, I wandered into Buena Vista Park thinking it was Golden Gate Park. I noticed spray painted lambdas on the entrance pillars but had no idea they marked this a gay cruising area.

Wandering around the trails, a guy came up to me and started chatting. His English wasn’t that good and he was probably a recent immigrant from Latin America. He told me Buena Vista meant good view in Spanish. As we walked I followed him off the main path into the bushes, which were well over our heads. He seemed to know where he was going.

We reached a little bit of clearing. He stopped and turned to face me – and I admit I was still clueless as what was happening. Then he reached out and started rubbing the front of my blue jeans.

“You want me suck you?” I clearly remember his ungrammatical question.

I started babbling some excuse about needing to meet friends in Golden Gate Park and ran out of there, feeling confused and embarrassed and maybe a little dirty. But now I look back on it and think that if he hadn’t verbalized his question things might have been very different.

Although I wouldn’t agree to it, I also wouldn’t have stopped him. If rather than asking, he had unbuttoned my pants and reached his rough hands in to grab my cock, I would have let him. He would have been free to pull my jeans and tighty-whitey underwear down to my ankles. Then he could have rubbed his callused fingers over cock and balls. I would be confused, but my cock would have hardened and it would have felt unfamiliar but good.

He would have taken my hard cock as his permission to sink to his knees in front of me and take my cock in his mouth. He’d run his tongue over the head and shaft finally pulling the whole thing in, deep throating me until his lips pressed against my balls. He’d feel me getting really hard and hear me moan in spite of myself. I would be beyond wanting it or not wanting it, it would be happening and it would be making me feel so good.

He could grab my ass and pull me towards him – making me fuck his mouth. Soon I would be in a rhythm and there would be no holding back. I wouldn’t last long and he would soon be rewarded with the huge amount of cum 18 year olds make. He would certainly swallow it all and it would warm his tummy.

If he kept his mouth on my soft cock – maybe playing with my balls or running his finger back along my ass crack – I’d soon be hard again. 18 year olds have amazing recovery powers. This time it would be slower and I would find myself enjoying it, loving having my cock sucked.

Perhaps then he would stand and put his hands my shoulders. He’d push me down until I was kneeling in front of him. He pull down his pants and his hard cock would spring free inches from my face. He wouldn’t be wearing any underwear of course. Then he’d press his uncut cock to my lips.

“Suck me.”

Being a polite boy, I’d feel I owed him since he’d sucked me. Also he wouldn’t ask, he’d be ordering me and his cock would slide between my lips without resistance. I remember the things he’d done to me just minutes before and how good they had made my cock feel – I would do them to his cock. Sliding my tongue over the head and down the shaft. I’d be amazed how much harder it would get in my mouth and how much bigger it would grow.

I’d be overwhelmed by my need to serve his cock – the same way I would be when I first actually sucked cock a decade and half later. Hopefully I’d realize that by grabbing the base, I could keep from chocking while he fucked my mouth. I’d love his moans and his grunts – showing me what a good cocksucker I was becoming.

“You like sucking Mexican cock, faggot white boy?”

I’d moan my agreement and feel his cock swell even more and his pumping become more intense. Then his cum would fill my mouth. I’d be surprised how sweet it was and how good it tasted. I’d try to swallow it, as he’d swallowed mine.

Then he’d surely pull up his pants, zip up and leave.

I’d be confused, disgusted with myself for what I’d let him do to me and what I had done myself. And I’d be disgusted by how much I enjoyed it.

But this was San Francisco in the wild days before AIDs. Maybe in spite of myself, I’d come back to the park the next day. Or maybe I’d wander to the Castro or even into one of the city’s many bathhouses.