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I sat quietly at a corner booth in IHOP, waiting for my pancakes and sausage to arrive… and for the phone call from my wife. I checked my watch … today was her 34th birthday, and a lot of planning had gone into the special “surprise” that was about to be delivered … assuming of course, that everything went according to plan and on schedule! My phone beeped … yup … the delivery was on its way & it looked as if she would get her “surprise” any minute now! If everything went as expected – she would thank me very enthusiastically when I got home …
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Other than the fact that today was my birthday, it seemed to be just another ordinary day. I finished taking my bath, wrapped a towel around my mid-section, grabbed my half-empty coffee cup and plopped down at the dining room table for a few minutes of relaxation … I figured I'd check to see what weird things my facebook buddies had to say and perhaps fill out one of the bizarre quizzes that popped up in my inbox. Just as I sat down, my computer beeped to let me know that I had an instant message. Probably from my ex … he usually checked to see how the boys were doing about this time each morning …
I clicked on the Yahoo! Icon and opened the instant messenger screen … nope, not my ex … my buddy Dennis had sent me a “happy birthday!” message. I quickly typed a reply, commenting that there was nothing much planned for the day – although my husband had disappeared early, right after the kids had gotten on the bus – mumbling something about shopping and a “surprise” for later. “Hmmm … I wonder, I thought to myself ...” my husband's surprises were always exactly that … I rarely knew what he was up to, but he knew me so well, I knew that I would sooner or later get something really interesting …
Dennis and I chatted for a few minutes about nothing really important – he commented that he was horny (trying to get me going as we had a bit of history together) and I gave him a bit of shit … and suggested that he should write an erotic story for his wife … perhaps he'd “get lucky” later … Then the doorbell rang.
I typed “hold on a minute” and walked over to the door, forgetting that I was only half-dressed … at home I'm usually only half-dressed, being more comfortable that way! When I reached the doorway, I could see the front porch … there was a city cop standing on the porch with some sort of official-looking papers. Great, I thought sourly – what has his ex-wife done now to make our lives difficult? Just what I needed on my birthday, of all days! I sighed and opened the door …
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My pancakes arrived, just as I liked them, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top & smothered with hot maple syrup. I speared one of the sausages and took a bite. As I chewed it occurred to me that my unconscious choice of sausage instead of bacon was somewhat ironic! Grinning, my imagination took hold as I imagined the look on my wife's face when her surprise birthday present arrived … the sausage went down surprisingly smooth.
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The officer – he gave his name as Officer Caliente, was a well-built, muscular (so shoot me, I'm only human after all …) Hispanic man who looked to be about 35 or so. Hmmm … maybe I could get him to stay a few minutes for coffee or something … nothing wrong with getting a little eye-candy (and he definitely qualified) … it was my birthday after all! I shook my head to clear my thoughts, I walked into the kitchen and quickly scanned through the papers he had given me – they didn't seem to make much sense until I reached the last page and read, “the respondent is to be detained by said officer until satisfaction of the above requirements is reached and all parties have obtained release. The serving officer is authorized by “the Husband” to use any and all legal methods to restrain and serve the requirements of the respondent ...”
The possible meaning of these words had just begun to sink in just as I felt smooth, cold metal slide across my wrists, followed by an audible “click.” The officer turned me around – I have no idea just how he had removed his uniform in the few minutes that I'd been in the kitchen. Well … most of it anyway … all except for a pair of silky, clingy, tight boxer briefs with the police department logo on them … any momentary fears that I had vanished as I realized that my dear husband (ohh, I'll kill him for this later!) was behind this! My husband knows all too well the thing that I have for men in uniform – especially police officers … and the fact that I have always been extremely attracted to dark skinned or Latino men. Looks like he'd finally found a way to play on my fantasies … oh damn he was hot. I could hardly believe that the almost entirely naked (but wearing still entirely too many clothes if you ask me) Latino god in front of me was my “birthday surprise.” I wondered if the boxers were standard issue?
Are you really a cop?, I breathed huskily against his ear as he lowered me to the bed … “off duty,” he whispered. I snorted … only my husband would think that this was an appropriate birthday present …, but if he was okay with it, I wasn't going to complain. Instead, I'd make damn sure that the present was used and enjoyed to the fullest!
And so I did … several times. Officer Caliente even undid the handcuffs after the third or fourth time, I forget which!!? Did I mention that I'm going to get him for this? … oh yes, he'll definitely have to pay.
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I glanced down at my watch. “Just about time to go and see what the damage is,” I thought. I wondered to myself exactly what kind of reception I'd get when I walked in the door … My cell phone beeped. “Papers delivered, just left the house … she's all yours now. Thanks.” I smiled to myself and turned down the road leading home.
Did I mention wondering what the reception would be like? I didn't even get in the front door! Also didn't know that you could get away with doing THAT in the driveway without being arrested … but I guess the cops had already been here once today and that was enough.