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A Letter to Ethan

Ok let me confess that starting a letter to a guy with dear still creeps me out a bit, but it is what I feel; so I'm going with it. Your absence of the last few weeks has been crushing to me. I am so conflicted about what you and I enjoy together. I love my wife and what we have and do together, but I love what you and I do together in ways that I still have a hard time accepting. In all our years of swinging, I never found a woman that turned me on better than Cathy, but you excite me in a way that only another man can. Last year when the girls decided to take each other as lovers & shut you and I out of their lovemaking I was lost and confused. But within moments of feeling your touch, I knew it would be OK. I had grown so accustomed to watching Cathy make love to other men and women & joining the fun, the kinks were so enjoyable to me, I just expected that it would be like that for … well forever. I have known for years that she loved her girl girl time & I experienced her subtle and gradually increasing Female Domination of me; becoming more a part of her sexuality and my pleasure. For years she had manipulated me by telling me about her, early years with those sweet young things, holding and kissing and licking through the night and till the dawn. She more frequently talked about how she craved those times again and the smell and taste and feel of a young woman. Her stories of young girls, loving on each other, licking and suckling drove me to lust filled nights of doing whatever she asked..Her Girl Girl lust was not just about the entertainment aspect for the guys as we became swingers but the real mature desire for the feel and taste of another woman. She craved the intimacy that only laying for hours between another woman's legs & lapping at her wet clit and enjoying her touch in return. As she turned to her own lust for perverse sex; I welcomed it, even though it made me uncomfortable. She would take me to the adult cinema & we would always start with Girl girl porn & yet we would always end with her watching Gay men’s porn & whispering in my ear. She would find some halfway decent guy and talk about him doing the things on the screen to me and it would make my dick hard, she knew she had me. As We delved deeper into my experiences as a young man with other boys, I became more open to revisiting it as a Bi couple. She too seemed to develop a deepening obsession not only with my attraction to other guys but the firming of her commitment to develop a real exclusive relationship with other young men for us & to choose a special young woman for an ongoing weekly lust filled erotically sexual, expression for her own Lesbian desires. I would do anything to anyone for what she would do for me.. I was pussy whipped, I found myself pantied & on my knees sucking her strap on and finally begging her to do my ass with it. Her domination of me sexually was all going according to her FemDom dreams. I was getting more erotic and kinky sex than anytime since our dating days, but it was far from traditional. At first we were always together fucking, sucking, watching & then the changes started. She took lovers and wanted alone time with them & then seeking more & more time alone with her lovers. The “Dates” became more frequently the same people & fewer random hook ups and less with me involved. She would come home to me & feed me her used cunt or tease me about what others were doing to her. She would pick up young guys in clubs and end up in cheap hotels and she often dated lesbians & went to parties where only women played, but I thought it would be OK. She was an expert at playing me by telling me the details & making me go down on her. Creampie cleanup was always our last chorus of her night or day of working her sexual perversions out. Or was it on me, subconsciously living my bi leanings out through her used pussy? It was becoming disturbing to me that she was investing in a couple or individuals and alienating me further from her sex, rather that our traditional random casual sexual encounters. But with each time she would find a new way or a new kink to fascinate me & allay my concerns, she was playing me. 2 years ago she started getting off on flaunting her sex with younger and younger guys & her enjoyment was so profound all I could do was watch, wait for my turn and accept & enjoy. When she first started kissing me with the taste of her young studs dick on her mouth I was uncomfortable and turned on at the same time. On the first few occasions when I objected, she just grabbed my hard dick & said that my dick seemed to like tasting another guys Cum. I was embarrassed but incredibly turned on. That taste & the smell of another man on her as she would sit on my face brought a flood of memories back to me from my teen years. She had told me of her bi experiences with young girls on sleep overs & a while later she asked if I ever touched other boys, so I spilled the beans and told her all about my time with a friend named Steven. She knew it all and it made her crazy horny and she would cum like a rocket at my cock sucking and 13 or 14 year old anal sex stories. I had managed to get sexual with other boys as early as 13 or so. Our dicks stayed hard & we would let anyone touch it that would offer. There were a few girls that were nasty and fat, but a hand job was a hand job to a 13 year old. When I fell in with a family friend that was a bit of a sissy but a few years older, it didn't take long before I was going to sleep overs & getting my cock sucked well and often. I didn't & maybe still don't think of it as gay, just opportunistic pubescent sexual discovery. Steven was 16,the only child of a wealthy older couple that left him alone a lot. The adults all saw his slightly feminine actions, but back in those days he was just polite & knew how to play the adults. So when I would hang out with him we had a car, money and most weekends his folks were away on the Boat or the mountain home, doing whatever they wanted so we had a house to ourselves.. Oh yes there was also porn or at least magazines, his dad had a stash that we found & we would sit around with our pants around our ankles & jerk off. It didn't tale long before he offered to help me with a hand job and soon it was a blow job. In a few weeks I was doing him & he was doing my ass & we were spending the night with those wonderful ever hard teenage cocks, naked together for hours on end, in his bed. Later that year he managed to introduce a few other boys that he knew from the next town & our weekend sleep overs became regular gay orgies. That lasted until I had a car & a girlfriend that would let me finger fuck her. Truth be told I was very content to still occasionally, fuck & suck with Steven and his friends. Through high school & occasionally even on breaks from college Once I had told her about my willing gay experience, there was no taking it back, she asked if I felt “abused or harmed and was I secretly Gay?” I was just honest & said I enjoyed every bit of it and often thought about the smells and tastes & how I missed the way a long slim hard cock felt in my ass. I also said I loved her and I loved women but I couldn't honestly say I was straight, but I also didn't want to date a guy, but I could fuck one, so I must be Bi. She loved my stories as I did hers and would often read back my confessions about my Gay experiences up well past the time when we first started dating, I would become so hard & come so aggressive she would just laugh & tell me I was enjoying the gay stuff too much & not being honest about having memories, desires and thoughts about sucking cock & taking it up the ass again, while she watched.. She would lay beside me & talk in lurid details & jerk me off as she used the names of my Bi high school friends that used to suck & fuck me. My cock would soon explode, telling the truth of my interest and excitement. She would feed me cum from my own cock & from other lovers at parties. She was soon scooping my cum on her fingers or in her mouth and feeding my own cum to me and telling me how much it turned her on. Then there was the night that she sat on me & let me fill her with my cum as she told lurid stories of men having anal sex with younger teen age guys & she ground into me to orgasm after orgasm. The talk got more graphic and the look in her eyes was that of lust on a level I had seldom seen in her eyes. She repeated this night after night for a few weeks & then one night she sat up a date with a young lover she occasionally saw. As she dressed, she told me to sit beside her & listen to what she wanted as she enjoyed her young stud that night in our bed. What flowed from her lips wasn't a surprise but the fact that it was really going to happen was a surprise. That night the young man was to be her boy toy & I was to be their toy. In that one erotic evening all her fantasies and plans came together. She dressed me in Panties, stockings and a gartebelt and had me give him a blow job to get him wet and hard. She then wanted me back to clean her pussy after he had fucked her for hours and cum in her. After she enjoyed herself with him a second and third time she sat on my face and then offered him my ass all of which I was instructed to thank him for. When the evening was done I realized that I enjoyed all of it and that I enjoyed the fact that she was calling the sexual shots & using my body for the pleasure of others. Over the weeks & the year after that night I became quite accustomed to being the receiving cuckold for her gay and Bi fantasies & the pleasuring of her young bi lovers. I came to enjoy the feel of a hard cock in hand and in my ass and I came to love the taste of another mans cum in her wet pussy. Im not sure when her interests turned from young guys to a mixture of young guys, to lesbian women. But soon she was fucking me when she wanted but she was often inviting femmy lesbians over to our bed. She would introduce them to me & sometimes humiliate me a little in front of them then send me downstairs as she played with them noisily in our bed. I was forbidden to watch or touch. Ethan, when you at Cheryl came to the house that night I assumed it was for a threesome. I had made a fire in the fireplace and fitted out the king size bed with the new sheets and set her mood music. I was sure yall were going to have a great time and that I would be excluded from it, till she would have me clean her up later.. When she took yall to the big basement room and I heard the girls laughing, I was so envious of you. When she called me downstairs, I was perplexed, but when I saw you on the bed dressed in matching Garters, stockings and Black crotch-less panties, as the girls sat on the couch in an embrace that spoke of their lust for each other, I was confused. As soon as Cathy and Cheryl started directing toward the bed, I knew we were to be their amusement and erotic entertainment for the evening. Forcing two bi men together isn't a great stretch, as a general rule guys can get into most anything when their dicks are hard and mine was and yours was even more! When the girls finally decided to play you and I as gay lovers that night, for their amusement, Fem Dom pleasure & titillation, I thought it would be just another Gay fuck. But as we played for their pleasure, there was something unique about the touch you gave me and the passion playing out in your touch. By the time they tired of watching us and shut themselves in the master bedroom for a night of lesbian play, I had come to look forward to the night we had ahead. I'm not sure where my head is in all this but I have come to love your touch and look forward to the nights when we are played as erotic pawns for their amusement. I love the deep kisses & the way my cock tatses on your lips. I love the way your dick twitches as I reach for it and place it in my mouth. The cum you shoot on my tongue tastes sweet in my mouth and the time we spend fucking each other is a joy that thrills and drives me to extacy as you cum inside me. In those times when the girls take all night, I love waking up with your soft lips wrapped around my cock and your fingers stroking my balls, exploring my ass, begging for my cum yet again in your mouth. In those times when we lay together deep into the night, fucking the way only men can fuck each other I want you to know I have come to love the Feel and taste of your sex in my body, on my body and in my mouth. I look forward to holding and touching you soon and hearing your adventures in erotica soon. Im not sure I can sign this in Love… so lets embrace this..

LUST! Daniel